"Even for a wizard there will often come times when someone close to you, perhaps your spouse, criticizes your habits by comparing them to those of animals. This is distinctly unfair to the animals, who have far better habits than we in many areas. When, for example, have you seen a frog collecting taxes or a squirrel running for electoral office? Present arguments like these to those people who criticize you. If they still do not see the wisdom of your ways, you may then feel free to bite them." -- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume IX
[Actually a start-of-chapte fake-quote from A Malady of Magicks by Craig Shaw Gardner (1986, The Berkley Publishing Group, New York)]