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Andrew Ashling
User: [info]eurypon
Name: Andrew Ashling
Website: Ximerion
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Back January 2011
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Gay stories...
I write yaoi-slash-GLBT-M/M-stories and that's what this journal will be about.
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Dark Tales★Bk I: The Invisible Chains★Review
Now, I have to say, I spent way too long reading this and I fear sunlight will soon reach my window again, but this was by far one of the most engaging stories I have ever read. There were some things I wasn't so sure about (which I hope you don't mind if I explain to you later on), but for the most part you managed to create a vivid universe with many elaborate characters that are a delight to read and experience. Your writing has the ability to keep your readers to the screen, minor spell-check mistakes aside, which so very few writers have.

I love Anaxantis and his friends, and I love how smart he is and how elaborate his plans are and that it doesn't feel contrived, that his whole motivation isn't just revenge for himself, but the actual wish to help people. I love that he recognizes his flaws, that he is deeply introspective, but not so much that it hinders him.

I have to admit, I was very hesitant when you warned for incest in this fic, it is not my particular kink at all and I usually shy away from fics involving that. But I'm glad I stuck with this story after all, it was very devastating to see A's infatuation with his brother turn to such vicious hate, and I really like that you didn't shy away from the ramifications of Ehandar's rape and abuse and that Anaxantis is very calculating in his revenge. I really liked that you didn't gloss over the trauma and that Anaxantis is very well justified with his mistrust and hate and that he still suffers from it, even though it doesn't come through every second.

I love that you have such a wealth of side-characters who don't just appear one-dimensional and predictable, and I have to admit I have a particular fondness for the adorable Page-triplet (although I kept reading Obyann as Obi Wan for a while >.>) I just love how smart and capable they are.
I'm not sure about Tomar yet, especially as he was so very gleeful to join Anaxantis' close circle of friends.

And now to the things that threw me out of the story a little. First and foremost I'm sorry to say but the Story-teller introductions are somewhat unnecessary in my opinion and don't really contribute anything to the story as they are now, especially as you said any dominance in the story would be explained in context but I don't really understand the reasoning for the dildo-chair, sorry.
Then I felt somewhat thrown out of the story, since the tone of the language seemed to change abruptly between one paragraph and the next. Sometimes it felt like you were deliberately using dated and archaic language, which I felt fitting in context and then there was the word 'cute' thrown in somewhere and I almost had to shake myself, since I was literally thrown out of your story that much. Of course, that is always in the eye of the reader and probably most people wouldn't mind anyway.

I liked how you made Ehandar such a reprehensible character (at least he is that in my eyes), he really is, for me, the embodiment of a weak, sniveling human who deserves everything that's happened to him and more, on the other hand I have to say, his plotline is somewhat on the backburner and rightly so, but I don't know, something keeps bugging me about it, I can't yet exactly say what it is. Maybe just my almost hatred of him. I'm glad no one I like has died so far, but I wouldn't really mind if he bit the bullet, or maybe one of Anaxantis' poison capsules.

I know that this is only a WiP, and considering the speed with which you must've pounded out the chapters, I do bow my head to you :D.

I am so very curious to see where this story leads (and to think this is only the first book - and so very aptly named) and I would actually feel very honored if you wished to discuss my critique (you could do so at my email adress (for I don't actually have a FP account) miaruma at ).

I probably forgot something important I wanted to say or mention, I really should start taking notes, heh, but I didn't mean to ramble at you... I just have a motormouth :D

Meep

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Dark Tales★Bk I: The Invisible Chains★Review
First of all, I'm enchanted with the level of detail that went into this story. I'm one of those compulsive readers whose mind cannot stop pointing out plot holes and logic trappings while reading any story, to the point that I get fed up and give up on more than my fair share of books. Your story however was deliciously complete and well-written, to the point that I simply curled my toes at a good deal of the intrigue and attention to details that went into it.

That said, I will admit that, like many others, after a certain point I had trouble following every single character, so I chose a few as my favorites and thoroughly enjoyed following their progression. Obyann (wow, that name never fails to give me a Star Wars flashback smilies/tongue.gif) and his barrack mates rank on the top right now, hehe. I love Obyann's character, his simple kind heart and brusque-gentle way of dealing with things. He's pragmatic and down to earth and a really nice person when it all comes down to it, so naturally I adore him to bits. Plus the clotheless kids he's stranded with never fail to crack me up, hehe.

Lorcko has also become a fairly interesting character lately. I will admit I had very little interest for him at first. I generally despise characters that like to depend on their good looks etc, but he's shown he has character and back bone beyond his appearance (it usually takes a very strong personality core to overcome an ugly experience and social exile all at once), so his story pulled me right in. It seems like he might be going back to a bit of his old games though, what with adapting the Mukthar mannerisms and appearance. But I suppose that is what makes him Lorcko. I guess that attention to appearances and being in the center of attention seems to be ingrained into his way of thinking, so naturally the first thing he'd do when integrated into a new social group is to 'look' as good by their standards as possible. (so my little inner logic monster is very satisfied with how this is progressing)

Timishi, him, well I guess you could say court is still in session regarding that little enigma. I keep getting the feeling there's still a lot we don't know about him that will play an important role later on. He seems like an honorable man, well, always tied in with his Mukthar background, but I keep getting the feeling we're still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anaxantis may also have guessed something similar, because I find strange the number of liberties he's granting the Mukthars in his camp. Strategically speaking, he's certainly volunteering more information than he's getting back (they're probable aware of his entire army's composition and maneuverability by now). Although I will grant that he got valuable information back in the beginning. Still, having Timishi and the other Mukthars know so much about his plans does pose a certain risk. So I'm still waiting to see what more you're planning to spring up on us on that front. XD

Hemarchidas, I have grown to despise a bit. He's still in character (that never changes for anyone in your story), it's just that as the story progresses his character is revealed as one with little to no moral inhibitions when it comes to the people he considers his friends. He doesn't sweat a bit at murdering a defenseless man, so long as that may save Anaxantis a difficult decision, even if Anaxantis himself is responsible for that decision. It's the same reason why I never really liked Anaxantis' mother either, I suppose, even if she's a very fine example of a capable and dynamic female character, which I usually adore in stories like this. No regrets, no hesitation, merely deciding "who's on their side and who's not", and let the blood of innocents flow for those poor folks who didn't get the lucky draw.

Which brings me to the root of this story, Anaxantis and Ehandar. These two were the reason I began reading and even remotely became interested in the rest of the characters. Now, I will admit that I was an absolutely devoted fan of Anaxantis at first. He was the outsider, the runt that managed to grab his rightful position through cunning and will and sheer single-mindedness alone. The fact that his mettle is better than your average person shows through everything he does.

However (and yes, you can hear a very big "but" in here), he has unfortunately lost my initial adoration and his value in my eyes. Let me see if I can explain this right.

Ehandar, as it was apparent from the beginning, is obviously the weaker of the two. He doesn't have the astute mind for strategy that Anaxantis does, nor his ability to plan ahead and, more especially, the iron will that would grant him the ability to withstand difficult situations. However, unlikely as it seems, it has been proven that he has the bigger heart. And how ironic is that? Yes, he began by committing an atrocious deed against his brother. But that happened when he was drunk, at a particularly low point in his life and he regretted it the very next morning. That was in fact the turning point in their relationship. Anaxantis' situation and position improved not by something that Anaxantis himself did, but because Ehandar regretted his actions and began to treat him better, not to mention fall in love with him. It's important to keep that in mind.

Anaxantis on the other hand, despite proclaiming that he was in love with Ehandar from the very beginning, unfortunately never stopped planning Ehandar's demise. I will admit I was severely disappointed when I first discovered what Anaxantis had planned for Ehandar. I had honestly hoped he would have forgiven him after Ehandar's profound change of heart. And while up to a certain point, I could somewhat excuse it on the grounds of the severity of Ehandar's initial actions, Anaxantis has now gone way, waaaaaay beyond anything Ehandar might have done. Which means that he has unfortunately dropped below even Ehandar's initial low standing in my eyes by now. Ehandar treated him badly at first, but at least even he had allowed him a small measure of self and self-esteem. Anaxantis has ripped everything away from poor Ehandar, he's gone way farther from Ehandar ever did, and what's more, he did it while wielding the cruelest possible weapon, Ehandar's own love. What's worse? Ehandar gave it up willingly because he loves Anaxantis, while Anaxantis, who's also supposed to be in love with Ehandar, can't stop himself from taking more and more. How am I supposed to sympathize with Anaxantis then, when all I see is Ehandar sacrificing bits of himself on the temple of his love for Anaxantis, and Anaxantis ungratefully stepping all over those little sacrifices and asking for more?

On the matter of Ehandar's test, unlike others I got the impression that Anaxantis is in fact looking for the emergence of the 'beast' in Ehandar. But if that is the case, then how come Ehandar failed? I will admit I was a little confused there, or probably missed something. Or maybe Anaxantis is waiting for Ehandar to prove to him that he's 'worthy' of bringing back together, by behaving as Anaxantis would have in his case. However, they are different people, and I would be even more disappointed of that was the excuse Anaxantis is using right now.

All in all, I would have to say that I would be more upset is something bad happened to Ehandar/Tarno than to Anaxantis right now, hehe. Still, I somehow feel that simply separating those two would leave too many gaps still empty and I would certainly feel unfulfilled. So I'm waiting with bated breath and I fairly cheer whenever I discover a passage about those two. I would like to see their relationship straightened out and fixed and both of them stepping on more even ground. Perhaps if Ehandar got away but still returned to help Anaxantis, only this time standing on his own two feet? But that would still leave Anaxantis as the lesser man in my eyes. I don't know, and that's the single best part of this story that keeps me hooked and coming back for more.

Hestia

You can find it here: Ximerion

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