Maddy and I have known each other for years. For as long as I can remember she has been in my life. She was just a friend at first, the most interesting of all my crazy friends. But they all came and gone. My only constant has been Maddy. Maddy who always had an undying loyalty and faith in me. She was my support, my inspiration, my driving force. When it all started, I was just a skinny string bean girl. I was kind of real poor, my cool clothes all came from a thrift shop we lived near. I didn't really have style, I just was. I was really awkward. Maddy was always strong and sexy and beautiful and so smart. I was just a tall goofy flat chested nerd who she stuck by for reasons to this day I do not understand...well that's a lie. I know why she always stayed, she saw me for who I really was. Always.

Starting to get into music was a really big deal. I was really shy about singing in front of people. It use to be something I only use to do in the shower when I thought nobody was listening. When everyone else told me I was just being a dork for me to quit it, she said, "No Kali...sing for me. Don't stop until you have left nothing left in your lungs." We'd spend our nights on rooftops and she'd make me sing and tap in perfect unison to my heartbeat, in perfect unison to my melody, my song, my thoughts. She always understood me just perfectly.

I do not know why it took me so many years to just admit I was absolutely in love with her and that there would never be another. We have loved each other for such a long time but never truly realized and understood the extent until the touring began. Maddy was acting so weird, she was scared. Scared of her feelings, scared to lose me to Marky or Travis. If she hadn't kissed me when she did, maybe those fears could have been realities. I think I was too stupid to realize what she meant to me until that kiss.

The kiss that changed everything. It was the beginning and the end both at the same time. It was the beginning of us as a couple, it was the end of ignorance. It was an awakening. It happened at the end of one of first concerts during the tour. We were wandering around in the night near a big beautiful fountain. I turned around to look for her because she was trailing behind me, thinking hard, no doubt. When she looked up at me, she had the most determined and fiery look in her eyes that I have ever seen. It knocked the breath out of me. Then if the intensity in her gaze wasn't enough, she puts her strong beautiful hands on my face and kisses me in such a way that it was like..I can not describe how it made me feel. It was the most beautiful and intense thing I have ever felt in my life.

The feel of her lips on my own released me from a prison I never even knew I was trapped in. She wrapped her strong arms around me and my body was useless, I had no control over it anymore. My brain had melted. I needed more. I couldn't let her stop kissing me. I felt her passionate kiss everywhere, every single inch of me was left screaming for her the second she pulled herself away from me. My heart was thudding like a ridiculously exaggerated heavy bass from techno music in a club.

I have always loved my Maddykins. She has always been the one to save me. She has always been the one to protect me. To make me see things for what they really are. Without her I would be incomplete. Yes, we are exact opposites. But that changes nothing in how we feel about each other. I admire her for all the things she is and I am not. We are a single soul dwelling in two bodies.



Okay as for getting intimate, yes we do. We've been together since the summer. We were taking things slowly. We weren't in any rush. I mean we took years to finally kiss. We didn't need to jump into bed together immediately. Now for the big shocker. Yes, I was a virgin until Maddy and I made love.

Everyone gets real shocked about that. They were like "Oh my God, Kali! You didn't have sex until Maddy? But you're a fucking hot ass bitch." Um..that doesn't mean anything. I wasn't going to have sex with anyone who only wanted me because they thought I was hot. That is the main reason, I didn't stay in relationships for very long in the first place. I don't want to be desired solely because of my looks. I want to be wanted because of everything about me.

Maddy loves and wants all me. She made sure to make our first time real romantic for me. There were candles everywhere and soft music playing in the background. We were having an amazing make out session. All that girl has to do is look at me and then I'm ready to take my clothes off. So imagine after making out..her kisses are like hot candle wax, soft silky and hot. So hot sometimes it burned, I was burning with desire.

She slowly began to take my clothes off and I was taking hers off. She touched me so gentle but she was really aggressive at the same time. It was just so sexy. She took everything really slow for me. She touched every single inch of me, kissed every single inch of me and then went inside. It did hurt a little bit at first, but she kept going until it felt really good. And then..I was lost. I was floating away from my body somewhere far away.

That happens a lot with her. When we make love, whenever she touches me, I get lost somewhere. I have the hardest orgasms in the universe, it's like earthquakes take over my body. I always end up biting into the pillow to keep from screaming my lungs out. My toes are always curled up and my body hurts with the muscle spasms, I feel like I have arthritis on my toes. It's crazy. But it's so worth it. My heart goes super fast and then..it happens. I lose my mind.

We go at it for hours. She even does it with a strap on for me. Oh my God. She teases me so much. Every kiss, every lick, every touch is to tease me. I always end up near tears begging for her to just touch me. She always touches me like I'm the most fragile and beautiful thing in the universe. Sometimes, I cry because it feels so good. Sometimes I cry because I'm so happy. She always looks at me confused when I cry and worried like she hurt me but isn't sure how. But I always kiss her and tell her it's because I'm happy.

I love it when she gets on top of me. The reason why is kind of kinky...it's because I like her being all dominating. I love the things she whispers in my ear while we make love. She does everything flawlessly, perfectly, it can't get any better. She's so strong and sexy oh my God. We always try all kinds of positions too and do crazy things just to try it and it's always fun and sexy and I just..I don't think anybody has as much fun as us in bed. I doubt it feels as good as it does with us.

It's more than just physical. It's spiritual, it's mental. We just connect. My favorite thing to do to her is go down. I love kissing her everywhere, touching her everywhere. She has the body of a God or something. There is nothing wrong with it. Everything is perfect. I worship her with my mouth. The same way she worships me with her hands. But even while I do this, I love when she gets on top. I love when she growls, when she pulls my hair and goes wild.

As tame as she acts around me...I know she's wild deep down and I love when she shows it. I would never want to take away who she is. Once we start making love we just can't stop. I'm addicted to the high she makes me reach. My drummer has the perfect rhythm, and it shows in every thrust, in her tempo everything.

Making love is like making music with her. She always understands me, just what I need, just what to do, just how to do it. And I sing for her and I sigh and I scream until there's nothing left in my lungs. The sweet release. The sweet music. The lover's lullaby we turn into a symphony of moans, sighs and hard breathing, loving whispers, and sexy growls. It is all perfect..it is all beautiful. It is us.

I love her with every ounce of my being. I am happy to be spending the rest of my life with her. This is the way things were always meant to be and this is how it will be. Even when we're silly old ladies, we'll always love and have each other.