| emotions and honesty. |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|01:54 pm] |
Lorreewaguespack (12:45:14 PM): Hey! Lorreewaguespack (12:45:58 PM): Sup? AbuseYourDiary (12:46:11 PM): Nota lot, you? AbuseYourDiary (12:46:14 PM):  Lorreewaguespack (12:46:24 PM): putting off working on a paper lol Lorreewaguespack (12:46:34 PM): I called you the other day. Lorreewaguespack (12:46:41 PM): haven't talked to you in a while Lorreewaguespack (12:46:45 PM): how goes life? AbuseYourDiary (12:46:57 PM): it's just kind of like i'm watching time pass. AbuseYourDiary (12:47:09 PM): i haven't been working because tyler's grampa is in the hospital. AbuseYourDiary (12:47:29 PM): and i saw you called and mentally noted to call you back, and then forgot. :/ AbuseYourDiary (12:47:35 PM): i haven't really talked to anyone in a while. Lorreewaguespack (12:47:47 PM): y not? AbuseYourDiary (12:47:49 PM): lol, god. i'm such a loser. but yeah. Lorreewaguespack (12:47:55 PM): no ur not AbuseYourDiary (12:48:25 PM): i've been working on EPC a lot. making webpages for it.. and.. i haven't even seen jack or cody in forever. AbuseYourDiary (12:48:29 PM): i've been in bed all morning AbuseYourDiary (12:48:34 PM): i got my haircut though. AbuseYourDiary (12:48:44 PM): it'z short Lorreewaguespack (12:48:46 PM): i saw the pic on facebook Lorreewaguespack (12:48:49 PM): looks good AbuseYourDiary (12:48:53 PM): thankz! AbuseYourDiary (12:49:09 PM): how've you been? Lorreewaguespack (12:49:14 PM): I'm good Lorreewaguespack (12:49:44 PM): I went to a debate last night between Chi Alpha- the Christian greek organization on campus- and the Atheist Alliance Lorreewaguespack (12:49:48 PM): very interesting AbuseYourDiary (12:50:00 PM): oh yeah, i read that thread on facebook. AbuseYourDiary (12:50:02 PM): sounded cool. Lorreewaguespack (12:50:41 PM): it was they should do more stuff like that AbuseYourDiary (12:50:44 PM): i kind of hestitate replying ever. i don't know why. i read it all the time though. Lorreewaguespack (12:51:21 PM): i wondered about that. i wasn't sure if you just didn't get on facebook, or what. why not reply? Lorreewaguespack (12:52:05 PM): that's the easiest way for all of us to stay connected, i feel like your trying to pull away from us AbuseYourDiary (12:52:16 PM): most of the time i don't get on facebok AbuseYourDiary (12:52:21 PM): but i do get on it some times AbuseYourDiary (12:52:22 PM): and i read AbuseYourDiary (12:52:31 PM): and it's just because i don't have anything exciting to talk about AbuseYourDiary (12:52:42 PM): i kind of feel left out. AbuseYourDiary (12:52:46 PM): like even mangham, AbuseYourDiary (12:53:06 PM): i saw her at the doctors office the other day when i was going to get my medication AbuseYourDiary (12:53:17 PM): i'm on antidepressants and sleeping pills Lorreewaguespack (12:53:24 PM): Why? AbuseYourDiary (12:53:37 PM): depression and insomnia.. and nightmares. Lorreewaguespack (12:53:47 PM): nightmares about what? AbuseYourDiary (12:53:47 PM): lunesta makes you not have them. AbuseYourDiary (12:54:23 PM): just various stuff. like, being stuck in a school where i'm going to fail no matter what, or waking up one morning with gray pubic hair and being infertile, AbuseYourDiary (12:54:30 PM): or just all kinds of random things. AbuseYourDiary (12:54:37 PM): that are equally horrible. AbuseYourDiary (12:54:58 PM): nightmares about a lack of a future. Lorreewaguespack (12:55:29 PM): so make a future, go get a job, be involved in something Lorreewaguespack (12:55:50 PM): i know that sounds harsh, but you scare me with what you are telling me, i don't want anything to happen to you Lorreewaguespack (12:56:10 PM): i want you to be happy and have things and people in your life Lorreewaguespack (12:56:45 PM): i know its easier said than done AbuseYourDiary (12:56:47 PM): i don't want to scare you. AbuseYourDiary (12:57:00 PM): i don't want people to worry about me. Lorreewaguespack (12:57:19 PM): how can we not? your my friend! AbuseYourDiary (12:57:44 PM): i know. :/ and i know your right. AbuseYourDiary (12:57:59 PM): i have the job watching tyler but it's not really enough i guess. AbuseYourDiary (12:58:38 PM): i'm just kind of overwhelmed by myself and i need to snap out of it. Lorreewaguespack (1:00:32 PM): that's the thing with writing, at least for me, when I am and its good, my mind is like heavy with what I'm writing and I have a hard time coming out of it long enought to live life, but what's the good of writing if I have no life? And for me, its almost impossible to do both, or to do both well, its a choice Lorreewaguespack (1:01:34 PM): A choice to be happy and to do things, or to sit and do nothing, I understand, last semester, I was depressed. I had nothing to do, no real friends to hang out with, nothing but schoolwork and it wasn't enough Lorreewaguespack (1:01:47 PM): but you have to make an effort to change that Lorreewaguespack (1:02:21 PM): I'm sorry if you feel like this is a little intense, I wish I could see your face, but I really do worry about you AbuseYourDiary (1:02:47 PM): i haven't gone to church in weeks accepting easter. AbuseYourDiary (1:02:54 PM): excepting* AbuseYourDiary (1:03:21 PM): chris IMs me on aim and i don't respond. lol. i don't know what the deal is. i think i'm hiding from people. AbuseYourDiary (1:03:37 PM): it's not that i'm afraid.. it's just like i don't want them looking at me. AbuseYourDiary (1:03:56 PM): because i did drop out of school, and my brother did try to kill himself, and i am on antidepressants.. AbuseYourDiary (1:04:10 PM): and i don't want some excited christian man with a microphone putting his hands on me. Lorreewaguespack (1:04:50 PM): what do you mean? putting his hands on me? AbuseYourDiary (1:05:11 PM): like his hand on my shoulder and being all like, "lindsey blahblahblah miracle, blahblahblah" AbuseYourDiary (1:05:30 PM): I don't know. AbuseYourDiary (1:05:39 PM): Maybe I'm over-reacting but.. Lorreewaguespack (1:05:41 PM): I know how you feel, well maybe not, but I understand where you are coming from and if you really want change things you have to do something Lorreewaguespack (1:06:12 PM): No I don't think you are over-reacting, I get how you feel, I would feel the same in your place Lorreewaguespack (1:06:43 PM): Don't care what they think, what matters is what is between you and God AbuseYourDiary (1:06:56 PM): my laptopbattery is going to die soon. yeah. i agree. AbuseYourDiary (1:07:33 PM): mom thinks we should take a trip. possibly just stay in orange and rent a motel with books and movies. AbuseYourDiary (1:07:41 PM): and she said you could come if you wanted to Lorreewaguespack (1:07:51 PM): yeah that sounds like fun AbuseYourDiary (1:08:02 PM): Lorreewaguespack (1:08:18 PM):  AbuseYourDiary (1:08:42 PM): i need to go get dressed.. i haven't left my room all morning. Lorreewaguespack (1:08:50 PM): ok Lorreewaguespack (1:09:20 PM): Lin, you can always call me, even if its just like today sucked, I would rather hear that than nothing AbuseYourDiary (1:09:53 PM): i'll try to remember that AbuseYourDiary (1:10:05 PM): love you.. i'll probably be back later if you're still here Lorreewaguespack (1:10:16 PM): ok love you too |
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| Comments: |
She is right hun. Go out and do something. You're a smart, great girl. You have things to be depressed over but everyone does and that's life is learning the balance of things and overcoming obstacles. I overcame what Pete did to me, my rapists, my parents. Don't let anyone hold you down or hold you back because of their actions upon your life. You're your own person and control your own destiny. You just have to want it bad enough and actually do it. I'm here for you to support you if you ever need me. Promise. No matter what. ♥ stay strong && just keep moving forward and keep your head up. eventually you'll be off all those pills and be better then ever! | |
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