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[11 Jul 2005|04:25pm] |
Mmmm, thank the goddess for drugs. In this particular case, I am referring to migraine medicine. I normally prefer not to be 'altered', however, when my head feels like the tracks under a speeding train, it's not such a bad idea to be a little removed, so to speak.
I feel very relieved today. I realized I can't get a fresh start while I am still afraid of the past. I've grown tired of looking behind me, and the universe has given me the tools to move forward, so I am going with that. The truth is, I am lucky to have been given the opportunities I have, even amidst the chaos, so perhaps I should be thankful for my experiences, no matter how draining they were at the time.
I miss the fair. It was so amazing to be there, and I am totally going for the full three days next year. Yeah, maybe I am not the traditional hippie, but there is a part of me that seriously identifies with that culture. Like anything, it's enjoyable in moderation. Some of the stuff (like the large paintings of opened vaginas,) is a bit much to take, but I like the peaceful setting and the serenity I feel when I am there. I've also finally been accepted by my fiance's family, which is a big part of the good vibes I got this year. I really came to realize, as we all sat around the campfire, we all have our shortcomings, and our bad days, our mistakes. If I want them to accept me, the gypsy in designer jeans, I have to accept them, too. And I do.
I am very much considering taking a bath with the lavender oil I got from the fair, but I'm afraid I might pass out in the tub. That would be bad. Maybe I'll just burn some sage instead, and drift off to sleep.
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