| prejudice in unexpected places |
[19 Mar 2007|07:51pm] |
Yesterday, we went to a local Indian shop for incense, (my husband likes the Nag Champa and they have the best kind for pretty cheap) and there were, of course, several Indian (Middle-Eastern, not Native American) women in there with their kids. One of the women complimented me on my eyes, and asked if I was Muslim (I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt) and I said no. She asked 'what' I was, to which I replied 'Romani', because it didn't occur to me to say anything else. I've never encountered any sort of prejudice from anyone about being Gypsy, (after all, I am an American, and to most Americans we're Disney characters and something to dress up as for Halloween).. anyway, I don't go around broadcasting my ethnicity, but when people ask (and they often do, especially foreign people) I tell them I'm Romani and they usually have no clue what that is and think it means I'm Italian or something, ('Rome', 'Romani', etc.) so it's often more than I really care to deal with, explaining that, yes, we exist and no, we're not magical, we can't see the future, we're regular people with regular lives just like anyone else.
Anyway, this young woman, who was previously very friendly and helpful, instantly became suspicious and standoffish. She physically took a step backwards away from me after I said it. She had been chatting with us and playing with her son, and once I told her my ethnicity, she began to follow me around the store. Not that I planned on stealing anything, but it was very strange and it made me quite uncomfortable, I mean, I couldn't get away from her all of a sudden! I started to think, 'shit, I should have said something else', and then I thought, 'but, what?'. I'm obviously not a 'white girl', they could tell that right off, and I started to think what I could say in the future if I found myself in a situation where I felt the truth might be unwise. We made our purchases and left the store, and they watched us as we walked out to the Jeep. It was just.. odd.
Now, there are places in the world where I would expect this sort of behavior, but I have to tell you, an Indian shop (since we originated in India, for christssakes) was not one of them. It never occured to me for one second to be dishonest or ashamed to admit the truth to this woman who had been so kind. My husband was really angry about her sudden change of mood towards me, but I was too stunned to be immediately offended. I quietly ran the situation over and over in my mind for most of the day, trying to find some other explanation for it, but there wasn't one. Obviously, to her, 'Gypsy' was synonymous with 'thief', someone who needed to be watched closely, someone who couldn't be trusted. I tried my best to maintain our friendly exchange after answering her, but it was like a door had slammed in my face. I remained courteous, smiled and thanked her as we left, hoping that maybe (if she'd never met a Gypsy before) I could show her that we are just like everyone else. I have no idea what they thought or said after we left the shop, but I hope I made some tiny dent in the flawed image she had of our race, and of me.
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