| fuck the fucking fuckers! (and, "I'm on speed!!") |
[24 Mar 2007|09:02am] |
You know, this fucking bitch on the phone just ROYALLY pissed me off... I'm here on my day off, she's telling me that she wants me to fix it from the office when she has an appointment scheduled for a field tech to come out later today and I explained that if I could fix it from here I would. Then she says that she works for a software company and this is how they do things, blah, blah, blah and I said 'well, but you don't work for [this company] and I am trying to explain how things work here' and the fucking cuntrag says to me, "and I never would because I take pride in my work" so I said "GOODBYE!" and hung up on the bitch! Your ass can call back and wait on hold again! >;P
I have an appointment next week for some bloodwork so I can switch meds. I was on Wellbutrin [anti-depressant/stimulant/pain management] and now I am going to try Adderall [amphetamine/stimulant/ADD]. I started taking the Wellbutrin because I was having severe chronic pain from endometriosis, and that drug elevates the chemicals in your body that help manage pain. It works well for the pain, but there is something else I noticed since I've been on it. I can focus better, I get more done, I don't feel like I'm being pulled in 20 different directions all the time that all need equal attention... well, I should say, I could do those things, but now it seems my body is getting used to the drug as things seem to be returning to the way they were before. I talked with my doctor who thought I may have ADD, so I took a test. In said test, if you score high on 20 or more of the 75 questions, it is highly likely that you have ADD... I scored high on 44 of the questions (!) So, yeah.. pretty sure I have ADD, and when I look back over my life, a lot of things make more sense. I'm very intelligent, but never did well in school.. report cards always said "not living up to her potential". I can't read maps or do math or put things together from instructions.. my mind literally goes completely blank at the prospect of such tasks. If you tell me, "take a left at the McDonalds and it's by the gas station" I can find a place, but a map, I'm immediately lost. I used to think, too, that it couldn't be ADD because I can focus for hours and hours while working on a web site, but apparently people with ADD can focus on things, (and can even be what they call 'hyper-focused') if it is something that interests them.. if not, it's hard to keep their attention. I also often find myself asking Andy or my friends to repeat themselves.. I am listening and it registers for a moment, and then I lose it... and I have to ask, 'what did you just say a few minutes ago?' I always thought that was a side-effect of the blood pressure meds, but apparently, it was ADD.
Adderall is a stimulant, literally speed. It's actually pure amphetmine. People with ADD do well with stimulants because they help the brain focus on things that it normally wouldn't be able to or wouldn't care to (like work, school, lectures, etc.) I have noticed, as I've gotten older, that I do not care for depressants like alcohol, marijuana, pain meds, etc., anything that slows me down - but coffee, energy drinks, and other stimulants make me feel and do so much better in whatever it is that I'm doing that day. I would be a coffee fiend if it didn't bother my stomach so much! So, I think the Adderall will help quite a bit. I do have some cardiovascular issues, which the doctor said she will monitor closely while I'm on it.. so, yeah.. yay for drugs! LOL
Hope everyone is having a good weekend :)
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