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gypsy



Dancing with Dragonflies

Chasing the dragonfly, dancing with light, my eyes fixed on shimmering wings, my heart in flight. On the edge of a lily pad
lands the dragonfly, tail like a blue thread loosened from the sky. And what is a butterfly, you ask? At best, he is but a caterpillar, finely dressed. A dragonfly captures the soul and mind, all this in only a moment of time.

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Happy Birthday, Dad... we love you & we miss you! [Friday, July 4th 2008]
Today is my Dad's birthday. It will always be Dad's birthday, no matter how many years pass.

We got the memorial signs up alongside the highway, and we went to his favorite restaurant (Salty's) and had coconut prawns and did a calamari toast in his honor. We had a good laugh and a good cry, and shared some memories of Dad. When we were leaving, I was stopped about to pull out onto the main road from the parking lot, and I said "I don't want our 4th of July to just be like everyone else's"... and right as I said that, a blue car drove by with the license plate 638 DAD. This was the last time I talked to him... he called me less than 20 minutes before the crash, at 6:38pm.




That's the sign. We installed them on each side of the intersection (which you can see in the background) where he was killed. We are very thankful to the property owners who allowed them to be installed on their land (Oregon law prohibits "non-official" signage on their highways and roads, unless a property owner ok's the installation on their property).


Proud of myself... and sad [Monday, June 30th 2008]
Yesterday, I took the Jeep in to get the oil changed (Jiffy Lube). Turns out my air filter was clogged with oil because I need a new internal pcv valve. My engine was also rather dirty because of it, so they flushed the engine and replaced the air filter, and I bought a new pcv valve which is going in today. Serpentine belt is also ready to be replaced, but they will do that when they install the A/C as it will need a bigger one to run it. The Jeep is running great now, and I'm happy about that... it's just that Dad always did this stuff. I've never had to take her anywhere or pay anyone... and, it's not about the money. I just miss him.

It's just another reminder that he's gone.

And, we all shared a mobile phone plan. Since the accident (because we couldn't find the phone - probably smashed in the door frame of his van somewhere) we've had his cell phone forwarded to my parents' house. It's been over three months now, and the calls have mostly tapered off, so my Mom asked me to delete his number off the account. He's had that number for over 10 years, and that was hard to do, thinking now someone else will have it, and have no idea how significant it is to our family. (503)310-8030... I will remember that number for the rest of my life, probably. And, I still have it programmed into my phone under 'Dad'. His messages he left say from 'The Yacht Doctor'... when someone else takes that number, the messages will say someone else's name. I have them backed up on CD and on the computer, and it's probably time to delete them, but I don't want to.

It's stupid, the things a grieving person will hang on to. Some days it just feels like this is not the life I want to live anymore, if he isn't in it. It's not like I'm going to go jump off a building or anything, but it just really, really sucks.


damn germs [Saturday, June 21st 2008]
What I thought was allergies appears to actually be something more like a mild flu. Yep, again. I have the cough, stuffy nose, headache, fever, chills and body aches. Lastnight, I went to bed at 10pm but woke up again around midnight and didn't get back to sleep until 6:30am. My body was aching and I kept getting warm, then cold, then warm, then cold again. After an hour of pulling on more blankets and then throwing them off and then pulling them on again, I just said "fuck it", and got up to read my book. I just got it from Amazon, and I read the whole thing in one night. It's called "If I Am Missing Or Dead", by Janine Latus. It was a good book, though I thought it had too much back story... still, it was better than (another) re-run of Forensic Files. I love that show, but damn.... I only need to hear the one about the 17 year old boy and the pipe bomb so many times before I die. Today, I still feel crappy and basically laid around the house all day, doing nothing. I did make it out to Target for some Gatorade and throat lozenges, but that's about it.

I had planned to take it easy for summer term, so I registered for two one day seminars, another psych class (the next in the series) and a drama class. I log on to my email account earlier, and find that they've dropped the drama class I wanted to take, 2 days before the term begins. I decided to go ahead and do business law, even though I know it's going to be heavy. I need to get back in the swing of things, and maybe this was the little push I needed in the right direction. I'm a straight-A student... I can do this.

State of disillusion [Monday, June 9th 2008]
This is the kind of bullshit that is allowed to happen in Oregon
(not my Dad, but someone's, I'm sure..)

http://www.portlandtribune.com/news/story.php?story_id=121281781242553900


Disgusting..



seriously? [Sunday, June 1st 2008]
Japanese man finds woman living in his closet

TOKYO (AFP) - A Japanese man puzzled by food mysteriously disappearing from his refrigerator got a shock when he found out a woman had been living in his home for months without permission, police said Friday.
ADVERTISEMENT

The 57-year-old man living alone -- or so he thought -- in the western city of Fukuoka installed a security camera and called the police when he saw images of someone walking around his home while he was out.

"We searched the house in the man's presence. We found the woman in the closet," said a local police spokesman.

The woman, named as 58-year-old Tatsuko Horikawa, was found in a flat storage space only just big enough for a person to squeeze into lying down.

She had sneaked a mattress and several plastic bottles into the cubby hole, police said, adding that the women had been arrested.

"She told police that she had nowhere to live," the spokesman said. "She seems to have lived there for about a year, but not all the time."

It is unclear how she managed to enter the home undetected. Police suspect she might have been closet-hopping, moving from house to house.

source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/japancrimeoffbeat

memorial [Saturday, May 24th 2008]
Today, husband and I took flowers to the cemetery, but not for my Dad, for his parents and his brother (my grandparents and uncle). It is in another state, and he always used to do that for Memorial Day. It was important to him, so now it is my way to honor him, too.

On the way back, I took a photo of a church bulletin sign. Read more... )



Italian tolerance goes up in smoke as Gypsy camp is burnt to ground [Friday, May 16th 2008]

In cruel and unusual concert, Italy's new government, its police and paramilitary carabinieri, and even its gangsters, have turned their joint might against the nation's enemy number one: the Gypsies. (link here)

Yesterday Pope Benedict XVI and a small number of left-wingers raised lonely voices in central Naples against the national hardening of hearts towards Europe's perennial outsiders. To little avail: the Pope's appeal for a spirit of welcome and acceptance was met with a hail of angry rejection in blogged comments on news websites.

But what will remain scorched in the nation's memory – as a mark of shame, or a beacon pointing the way forward, depending on how you see it – are the flaming structures of the Gypsy camp burnt in the Ponticelli district of Naples on Wednesday.

Residents of the former communist stronghold on the northern outskirts of Naples have been raising hell about the camp since Saturday, when a woman claimed a Gypsy girl had entered her flat and tried to steal her baby.

The first Molotov cocktails descended on the improvised huts and cabins on Tuesday evening, after which the 800-odd inhabitants began moving out of the area in groups. On Wednesday the fire-raisers, said to belong to the Camorra, the Neapolitan equivalent of the Mafia, burnt the camp in earnest, watched by applauding local people and unchallenged by the police. When firefighters showed up to douse the blaze, local people taunted and whistled at them. The last Roma moved out under police protection.

Only then did local politicians shed a few crocodile tears: Antonio Bassolino, governor of the Campania region, declaring: "We must stop with the greatest determination these disturbing episodes against the Roma." Rosa Russo Iervolino, the Mayor of Naples, chimed in: "It is unthinkable that anyone could imagine that I could justify reprisals against the Roma."

But the first act of ethnic cleansing in the new Italy passed off with little fuss. Flora Martinelli, the woman who reported the alleged kidnap attempt on her baby, said: "I'm very sorry for what's happening, I didn't want it to come to this. But the Gypsies had to go."

Roma have been living in Italy for seven centuries, and 70,000 of the 160,000-strong population have Italian citizenship. They amount to less than 0.3 per cent of the population, one of the lowest proportions in Europe. But their poverty and resistance to integration have made them far more conspicuous than other communities. And the influx of thousands more from Romania in the past year has confirmed the view of many Italians that the Gypsies and their eyesore encampments are the source of all their problems.

The forces of law and order took up the struggle yesterday. In Rome, some 50 Roma without identification and living in the city's biggest Gypsy camp were arrested as part of a crackdown on illegal immigration which resulted in more than 400 arrests nationwide.

Meanwhile, the government announced that its new diktat on security is almost ready and will be approved at its first cabinet meeting in Naples, as announced by Mr Berlusconi, to symbolise his determination to crack the city's chronic refuse problem.

The "decree law", which will have immediate effect, is expected to make illegal immigration a criminal offence, punishable by up to four years in prison. The discussion of the draft of the law and the announcement that there will be no more amnesties have thrown the hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants who work informally as nurses and old people's companions into a panic. Now the government is trying to fine tune the law so it only applies to criminally inclined clandestini – and Gypsies.


I never missed an opportunity to tell you that I loved you [Wednesday, April 2nd 2008]


I couldn't post about this when it happened, because I couldn't accept it yet. It felt like a bad dream, it was so surreal. I still don't want to accept it, but I will probably feel that way for the rest of my life. Read more.. )

My father was my hero, my best friend, a trusted authority on almost every subject under the sun, someone I could laugh with and the only person I could cry in front of, and the person I trusted with anything and everything. We talked every day, usually multiple times a day, and even within an hour of his death. I had just written a tribute to him in one of my classes, and last Christmas, when someone asked me what I ’wanted’, I had said I wanted to freeze time so that my Dad wouldn’t get any older and he could be with me forever. I hadn’t known, at that time, just how little we had left to spend together.

I miss you, Dad, more than you will ever know. I never missed an opportunity to tell you that I loved you, and I am so thankful for every memory, for every silly moment, for every day you were alive, and I know that, even in death, you are watching over all of us, sending messages through license plates and mysteriously fixing a leak in the Jeep that we could never find before, no matter how hard we tried. It is heartbreakingly difficult to accept the tragic death of someone who never missed an opportunity to truly live. You will live on in the stories and memories of the family and friends you held so dear. We will never forget you.



aw, crap.. [Monday, March 17th 2008]
Oooh... oh, pain. Ouch.

My back has officially gone out. I felt it coming on this morning, but I was stressed over my math final and I think the adrenaline kept it at bay... until now.

This hasn't happened in probably a year or more, to this degree. I fractured my spine when I was twelve, and have been in a few car accidents that shredded the nerves in my neck and between my shoulder blades, so I get migraines often, but my back actually going out like this is rather rare. Could be the weather... when it gets cold quickly or the temperature drastically changes, it acts up.

Damn, I feel old.



What's your sign? [Monday, March 10th 2008]
How closely do you follow your horoscope? Do you identify with your zodiac sign? Have you ever thought perhaps you belonged in another sign instead? Chances are, you do.

The real Solar Zodiac has more than twelve signs, and the dates differ from the standard Tropical Zodiac, which is the most familiar.

What is your true Zodiac sign? )
According to this chart, I am actually a Sagittarius (the Tropical Zodiac places me in Capricorn). Interestingly, my husband's sign (which remains the same in both) is an opposing sign of Sagittarius (Gemini). Sag traits... what do you think? )




I think I have traits from both signs (Capricorn and Sagittarius) though I do think Sag fits me better. Caps are often portrayed as very 'stuffed shirt' workaholic type, which doesn't often apply to me. Though I can be very serious, I am also a rebel. I would love to know what others think about their 'true sign' and if it fits them better than the other.



nicknames [Friday, February 29th 2008]
1. Do you have any nicknames or other names that you or others use to refer to you on a regular basis?
Yes, a few... one of them is my username here.

2. Did you adopt it/them, or did someone else or a group give it/them to you?
Some were given by family and others by friends, co-workers, my husband..

3. Is it okay for anyone to use it/them, or is it a mark of intimacy/familiarity for someone to be allowed to use it/them?
The nicknames used in my family have cultural significance (and are in another language), so generally no one else knows what they mean ~ anyone who is close enough to me to know them can use them, but it's more frequently only family that does. There are others that are specific to individual friends, and in some cases my 'real' name is rarely used.

4. Do you tend to make up nicknames for your friends and/or partners?
For people I am close to, or people I dislike.. some people probably don't want to know what their nicknames are :P

5. Do you use those nicknames you make up in day-to-day conversation, or only when referring to the person in the third person?
Day-to-day conversation, definitely.

if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... [Thursday, February 28th 2008]
I love when people ask a question they already know the answer to, because they want someone to give them an excuse to stay ignorant. They see the red flags, the obvious reasons why it isn't a good idea, and all it takes is one person telling them it's ok, and they fold, ignoring their guilty conscience screaming at them, telling them it's wrong.

I am both amazed and appalled at the way people toss aside their ethics and any moral code for a 'good deal'. How good of a deal is it when it hurts others? Of course, I am assuming here that these individuals have any sort of integrity to begin with, which may or may not be accurate. It is exhausting even speaking with these people, claiming to want your advice or opinion, only to toss it aside when, true as it may be, it isn't what they wanted to hear. They want an excuse to be a selfish jackass. I just can't be a part of that anymore.



new on the pet store shelves.. Purina with barbed wire! [Sunday, February 24th 2008]
So, there is a post in the huskylove community about what dogs should and should not eat with regard to 'human' foods. The post essentially starts out fine, about grapes, etc., and the comments are fine... that is, until the one where megadog states that it's completely fine for dogs to eat anything they want, including barbed wire!!

I don't know about you, but I always feed my dogs barbed wire... and chocolate.. mixed with anti-freeze.

*idiot*

who thinks up these surveys? [Friday, February 15th 2008]


1.) If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
A laptop, a mini-Gizmo, a piano, a 'Naked' juice drink (orange-mango) and a Jeep.

2.) I have an irrational fear of:
Sharks

3.) What type of food do you eat at your grandparents house?
My biological grandmother is dead, and my living adoptive grandmother is an insufferable bitch, so I don't eat at her house.

4.) What weight were you when you were born?
7 pounds, 5 ounces

5.) What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hate most?
Honestly? Probably beat the crap out of them, tie them up and torture them until I got bored with that, and then eat them... hey, you asked.

6.) What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
They'd never see me again. I'd gather my things, and leave them behind.

7.) Do you stalk anyone on myspace?
No, I hate MySpace.

8.) I find the thought of childbirth:
Impossible. I'm fixed.

9.) Next door to my house is:
Trees

10.) My feet are:
Bare

Read more... )


happy girl [Thursday, February 14th 2008]
I can't write much because my wrist is still f*cked up and I'm not supposed to be using it, but I wanted to update...

I got an A (actually, better than an 'A', because I did the extra credit, so it was 103%) on my psych exam, an A on my thesis in writing, and (are you ready for this???!) an A on my math test, as well!! I am a straight-A student!!!!!!

I cannot even begin to express how happy I am right now =)


Dear Dogs & Cats [Saturday, February 9th 2008]
Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required..

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to borrow the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.



nevermind all those shelter dogs... puppeeez r so cUtE!!! zomg [Sunday, January 20th 2008]
Um.. wow...

'Help me, I can't figure out how to train my dog that I don't have time for ~ oh, and did I mention I want to make more?!'

Please tell me this is a troll.. otherwise, my already frighteningly low respect for humanity has just dropped another notch..


The Backyard Breeders' and Puppy Millers' Big Book of Excuses.. )


history repeats itself.. [Monday, January 14th 2008]
DESTRUCTION OF SULUKULE

To
Abdullah Gul
President of Turkey
 
PROTEST OVER THREATENED
DESTRUCTION OF SULUKULE
 
     I wish to add my voice to the growing worldwide
protests  over the threatened destruction of Europe's oldest
Romani community.
 
     The Sulukule quarter, named after a landmark water
tower in Istanbul, has been settled by Roma for over a
thousand years. I had the priviledge to visit there in
l960 and again in l972, following the lst World Romani
Congress in London.
 
      I ask you to note that l453 the right of Roma to remain
 there was confirmed by Sultan Mehmed, following his conquest
of Constantinople.
 
      Presently, this ancient mahala is home to some
3,000 Roma and sustains a flourishing music and dance
tradition.
 
     The Sulukule Association for the Enrichment of Roma Culture,
supported by NGOs and university academics, has draw attention
to the need to preserve this quarter as a unique living heritage
site, important to the lO million Romani people throughout
Europe.
 
     I can vouch for the great value Sulukule has as a centre
for Romani culture and social life, and call upon you to intervene
to stop the bulldozing of this community.
 
    It is clear that the main motivation for this destruction is to
make a huge profit from demolishing the present houses, forcing
Roma to go to another location 40 km outside the city and
building new houses, affordable only to wealthy buyers.
 
    I therefore oppose the Sulukule urban reneweal project which
ignores the Vienna Convention for the Protection of World Culture
and Natural Heritage and ask to bring this project to an end
before any further damage is done.
 
    Your sincerely,
 
    Grattan Puxon
    General Secretary 1971-l981
    World Romani Congress

body language [Monday, January 14th 2008]
I have always said that women should be able to walk down the street naked, and not have to worry about being harassed for sex, or worse, raped. My views on that have changed somewhat over the past year. No, I don't believe a woman in sexy stockings or a short skirt deserves to be raped, certainly not. However, most women aren't wearing these things to fade into the background.. they're wearing them because they want to be noticed, plain and simple. And, there's nothing wrong with that. The issue that I have is when women go out of their way to appear enticing to others, and then profess how much they hate the attention they receive. You can't go to a bar with half your ass hanging out and not expect people to take notice. If you dress provocatively, expect to be stared at, smiled at, hit on, etc. You don't walk into a lion's den with a half rack of ribs attached to your chest, and this is the same thing. I get very tired of hearing women complain that men are 'all over' them everywhere they go, and then you see their MySpace photo or the clothes they wear out, and wonder where the rest of their dress is.. ladies, you want the attention, you want to play the game or you wouldn't dress the part. It's that simple.

These are the same women who will talk to seventeen different guys a night for enough time to get a drink out of each of them. Don't get me wrong, it's their life and their choice, and hey, more power to them, but don't act like you don't know that you're paying for that drink with your tits. It's a subtle, acceptable form of pornography. And then, that seventeenth guy gets to take you home tanked, maybe let you puke all over the side of his car, has probably the worst sex of his and your life because you are both too inebriated to know the difference, and in the morning it's 'how dare he take advantage of me like that!' It's the same thing.. these whiny, insecure women who want, no strike that, need the attention to feel good about themselves because they lack any unsolicited self-confidence, and then act like every guy in the world is a jerk when they make a pass at them. Get real. They're like car salesman. It's the classic 'bait and switch'.. 'oh, look at all these features, leather, lots of trunk space, don't you want to take 'er for a test drive? well, sorry, that one's not for sale, but over here we have this lovely Pinto...'

Disaster becomes you... [Friday, January 4th 2008]
There comes a time when all good things must come to an end. I suppose this is one of those times. I feel like I am always moving forward in my life, pursuing new interests, and yes, making mistakes.. but at least they're new mistakes. I am not recycling previous bad decisions in some fucked-up pipe dream, trying to see if they'll turn out different the 16th time around.

I understand second chances.. I know that things happen - but there is a point where you just can't feel any more sympathy for a destructive person. The well has run dry. I've had some bad situations in my life.. I was raped as a teenager. I was abused as a child. I've lost loved ones, either through death or damaged relationships. I've been through divorce, major surgeries, a third-world disease.. and yet, I don't feel like my life has fallen apart. Life sucks sometimes, and mine is no exception. Yet, somehow I have managed to go through these things and come out ok, when others have not. I think this is because it's always been just me.. no alcohol, no drugs, no escape hatch or rabbit hole to dive down. I've dealt with everything head-on, and it's not that I'm better than anyone else. I simply don't know how to do it any other way. I'm a control-freak, and those things make you lose control, so they hold no fascination for me. I believe that tackling my problems instead of hiding from them has made me a stronger, happier person, because although it was painful, it was only painful for a finite amount of time. I don't have to keep reliving it every time I don't have a bottle in my hand ~ I battle it out while it's happening, and while I may walk away dripping with blood, those wounds become scars that have toughened me, making me that much more capable of dealing with painful situations in the future.

I know that not everyone can or chooses to do this. I also know that it can be comfortable to stay in a certain behavior pattern, no matter how destructive it is. For some people, devastation is the 'norm', and while some are made more resilient by these experiences, others get caught in a holding pattern of despair that they can't (or won't) escape. I am not judging. What I am doing is what I always do - what I need to do for my own mental or physical health - and sometimes that means cutting ties with people who ride this roller-coaster of disintegration. When people make a choice to remain 'damaged', you have to step away, because if you don't, they'll find some way to assign you the blame.


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