SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU STUPID MIRAGE! I HATE YOU! I HATE ALUCARD AND I HATE YOU!

I am not und mirage! Nya, you finally lost your mind, huh? It didn't take much!

[SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY]

Aw, Dok. Zere, zere. Do you vant cocoa? Have ze butler get you some!

Zo, vhere ist ze Major?

NO YOU LITTLE FUCKING SEWER RAT, YOU LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS.

MAJOR IS DEAD. YOU ARE MATH. OH MEIN GOTT WHAT IS MY LIFE.

Oho! Vhat a temper! No need to get pissy, geez.

Major kicked ze bucket? Hm. So, how are we goingk to bring him back? Vhat ist ze plan?

ZE PLAN IST I KILL YOU UND BURN ZE BODY MEIN GOTT VHAT ABOUT LEAVE ME ALONE DON'T YOU GET.

Huhu... Dok, you know zat I can't die. Burning mein body vould do nosingk. Stop joking, OK? You're getting annoyingk now.

I'm getting a--

I'm--

You know vhat? I'm goink to take a nap. Vhen I vake up, you vill be gone. If you are not, I vill ask ze lovely Sir Hellsing if she vould like to have a hand at you.

I'm only in your head. She can't see me.

[just cries for fucking ever gott]

Zo, vhat games should we play? I'm bored now.

I want to play amateur surgeon to remove you from my brain.

You know you can't do zat! I'll be here until Alucard is done playing vith zat soul over zere. So, we have some time.

Didn't you miss me? Geez, so ungrateful.

No.

Vhaaat? So mean. Don't lie, I know you love me. <3