| |
[Jul. 19th, 2009|11:17 pm] |
Lewis had been scrubbing the kitchen floor that evening. One of the more inexperienced vampires had had a little accident with one of the humans and Bernie had asked Lewis very nicely to clean up all the blood. It didn't bother him so much because he was a master at detaching himself from the task at hand. He was just finishing up, slopping the scrubber back into the pink water, wiping his forearm across his brow.
With no care at all for the hardwork that Lewis had done, Elgyn walked through the kitchen. He didn't care that his shoes tracked footprints on the freshly washed tile. He ran his fingers through Lewis' hair as he walked passed him and around the counter to the fridge, which he tugged open. There was wine in there, which he oculd drink if he only drank a little at a time. "How are you this evening?" he asked, not acknowledging the fact that he was obviously cleaning and working.
Lewis didn't even mind that Elgyn was tracking footprints. He had all the time in the world to do it again and footprints were better than gore. "A little queasy. Do you think I'll ever get used to the smell?" He looked up at the man with wide, deceptively innocent eyes. The hand in his hair had made him lean into the vampire, but he just kept walking and almost sent Lewis keening over.
"I don't know, will you?" Elgyn asked as he glanced back over at him. He could see Boy looming in the doorway and he didn't acknowledge the child-like vampire because he wasn't particularly fond of him. When Bernie had warned him away from Boy he had stuck to it, mostly because he didn't want Bernie to be angry with him if he crossed the line with the innocent little thing. Looking back over at Lewis, he just smirked. "I think someone wants dinner."
Lewis was usually very open to different vampires feeding on him, or interrupting pretty much anything. But he was intent on Elgyn and he frowned a little. Getting to his feet to hide the vague pout to his lips, Lewis went to the sink to dump the bucket of dirt water. Getting out some bleach, he started to scrub out the stainless steel basin. "Hello," he said to Boy.
Boy could sense the disappointment as Lewis saw him and he just shrank back instead of saying hello to him. He slipped back away from him then and turned to start down the hall to another room to look for someone else to feed off of. Elgyn just watched him go and then he glanced over at Lewis. "What's wrong with him?"
Lewis let out a sigh and stopped his work. "Nothing is wrong with him. He's just sensitive, I guess." He left Elgyn standing in the kitchen alone and took off after Boy. "Where are you going? Were you looking for me?"
"No." Boy lied. An obvious lie because he wasn't very good at hiding his true intentions and never had been. At least not since he had been turned. It didn't take much to agitate Boy anymore. Since they had come to stay at the manner he had felt as if his whole world had been turned upside down and every time he thought things were going to be okay it just got all turned over again. He had thought things would be all right with Hugo and then they had slept together and now they were off again. He was afraid to leave the manor but he felt suffocated and stuck inside of it and he didn't know how to fix anything, which was frustrating.
"You were, Lewis said calmly. "I'm sorry, I should have put down what I was doing--I can always do it later." Whether he meant Elgyn or the mopping was uncertain. Ever since the trip to the wolves, Lewis had felt like Elgyn looked at him differently. Not his anymore, maybe. Boring or tainted. He didn't know. "Is something wrong?" He figured he'd get another 'no,' but it was worth asking. He caught up with him and put his warm hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
Boy's shoulders hunched up when Lewis touched him and he actually rolled his head to the side and tried to pull away from the touch. All he wanted to do was run. Just get away from them. There were a lot of moments were Boy thought maybe if he just stayed out all night that the sunlight would fix everything. Of course he knew that if he did that then something awful would happen with Hugo. Or maybe it wouldn't, he wasn't so sure. "No. I just want to go back to my room."
Lewis sighed dramatically and though he knew he was no match for Boy physically, he grabbed for his hand tightly. "I've been here long enough to know when you're hungry. At least let me do that. I like it when you feed from me; you're so sweet and constantly confused. Your brain feels like a drug I can't get anyplace else." He smiled and darted forward to kiss his cheek. "Please?"
Boy was hungry. And he was constantly confused. For once he just stopped fighting it. Lewis had tugged him back and he really shouldn't have done it. Giving up the constant fight, the constant attempt to control himself, Boy just turned on Lewis and forced him into the wall with his body. He sank his fangs into his throat, not even thinking about what the consequences would be if he accidentally killed him.
He hadn't expected Boy to so wholly give in. Like a rabbit that knew he'd fucked with the wrong dog, Lewis started to struggle. But Boy's child-like mind overwhelmed him and he relaxed with trust. Quickly, he was swept away by innocent things, that feeling that things were all a game. But there was dark taint to it too, the confusion of adulthood right on the brink, and the abyss of insanity that was below it. It felt so fucking good to let his mind go like that and he moaned with relief.
Together they started to sink to the floor and Boy knew the moment that they were down there was a chance one of them wasn't getting back up. He curled his fingers around Lewis' shoulders and he started to suck harder, bringing more blood out of the wound in his throat.
The blood was flowing faster than usual and with more purpose. As the euphoria started to wear thin, Lewis was able to realize that this was bad. As best he could, Lewis started to struggle again and managed a gurgled cry that was barely able to echo down the hall. "Boy, stop--Bernie--" was all he could get out.
Boy's eyes went entirely dark and he just shrugged away all the responsibility of killing Lewis. He held him tighter, keeping their bodies pinned together as he drank him dry. He was straddling Lewis' lap, sitting on top of him as they sank all the way down onto the floor.
Lewis was ready to let go, arms dropping to his sides. He was so close, but suddenly, the weight of Boy was lifted off him. Hugo's thin, but very strong hand was clutched around Boy's shoulder holding him up until his toes barely touched the floor. Hugo could feel anger rising up in him and he threw Boy back so that he hit the opposite wall of the hall.
"What are you thinking?" He yelled in half-panic. Closing Lewis's wound, he didn't dare move him right away.
Boy hit the wall, hard, and he sank all the way down to the floor and then just sat there. Lewis' blood was all over the front of him, covering the bottom half of his face and the front of his shirt. He knew, he knew that he had done a bad thing but that didn't stop him from doing it. He just looked up at Hugo and said nothing. He wasn't going to justify it, he couldn't.
When the vampire didn't respond, Hugo frowned, lines etching into his skin. Picking Lewis up, he took him to the nearest room and laid him on a couch. He would sleep, and Hugo would have food sent to him later.
Returning to the scene, Hugo's strong arms reached down to pluck Boy from his place. "She would have killed you. She would have ripped your throat out and sent you straight into the sun, you foolish fucking ungrateful little snot!" He hissed.
"Then I wouldn't be something for you to worry about anymore." Boy didn't sound mad, or particularly frightened. He just sounded slightly defeated. Boy hung there, his feet barely brushing the floor at all and he didn't try to get Hugo to let him go. "I want to go home." Back to their little hospital that he knew was just a pile of rubble now.
Hugo hated hearing this from Boy. It didn't help that Hugo desperately wanted to go home too--but home was fucking gone. Being here made him crazy, made him have to fight his brain even harder. "THERE IS NO HOME," he yelled and gripped Boy's shirt so that he could pull him forward and slam him back against the wall. "You're the only home there is, and if you take that away from me too, I will never forgive you. So stop this!"
Boy hit the wall and his eyes welled up. He was already hurt from the first time he was thrown into it but the second slam just made everything ache all over again. He tried not to cry but it was too late, the tears were already coming. Everything he said seemed to serve to make Hugo angrier so he just didn't say anything.
Hugo was losing it, the flash of utter insanity came at the threat of losing Boy to an angry Bernadette. But when Boy started to cry, Hugo snapped back to himself. Letting him sink down to his feet, he wrapped him in a hug. "Tell me what you want me to do--tell me. I tried so hard to fix you and I keep making you worse. They shouldn't have brought me back the last time."
Boy just stayed quiet again and he closed his eyes as Hugo hugged him. His fingers tangled into the bottom of Hugo's shirt and he just held onto him for a minute. All he wanted to do was close his eyes and fade away. It would be easier on all of them he thought. "I could just go away. I could go away and then you wouldn't hate me anymore."
"If you leave me, I'll hate you." He wanted to make that clear. He had nothing without Boy. From the second he'd made him, Boy was his entire unlife. "I need you. You can't leave me. We'll go home. I'll rebuild the goddamn hospital."
"You hate me now. You will always hate me. Just let me go away, I just want to go away." Boy knew that it would solve all of the problems that they were having presently. "Please, you could be so happy here, you just need to find someone who isn't broken like me."
"Shut up," he said firmly. He wasn't going to listen to this. Grabbing Boy by the hand, he pulled him to their room and put him down on the bed. "I don't know what I did to make you think this way, but it's not true. Just stop." He sat down next to him and put his hands in his lap. "I don't hate you. I never have."
"You never want to be around me. I thought it would be okay after we were together but then you went away and I slept alone and I just don't know what to do." He felt like he was going to start sobbing but he managed to keep himself together. "I just want to go back to the way it was." Before there were boys he could be interested in, and when he only fed off of bums that smelled so foul he never once considered using them for anything other than food.
"I don't want to go back to the way it was," Hugo said. "I don't want to have to obsess over how much I want you and how much I shouldn't have you. I don't want to have to worry about who you'd find to be your first. Now I know. It was a wolf, and then it was me, and I'm okay with that."
"It could have been you." but Hugo had made him feel so ashamed of it. He still did becasue of the way that Hugo reacted the first time he got hard and the first time he showed any interest in sex or what it could be like to be close to someone. "But you went away after we did. And I was alone again."
"You're my patient--it shouldn't have happened." That's why he'd left. The guilt from what he did was overwhelming and he'd needed to be alone. Ultimately, he'd made it worse though, like Hugo was so good at doing. When he was a human, he'd been a brilliant psychiatrist, but now--now he was a disgusting mess. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, lowering his head into his hands.
Boy just sat there, knees together and feet facing in at each other. He stared down at them, his hands resting on either side of the bed. he was still covered in Lewis' blood and it was drying on him, though it didn't feel uncomfortable yet. "I miss the way it was. Before there was anyone but you and me."
Hugo rubbed his hands against his face so hard he threatened to tear skin. "We'll find a place of our own. We'll go to Seattle and it'll just be us. How does that sound?" He was really trying. Glancing back at Boy, he turned his body around to face him.
"It's too late now." Things were different. The dynamic of their relationship changed and now matter hwo childlike Boy could be that was something that he understood. "It's too late to go back."
"So now that we've fucked, everything is ruined forever? Now that there are other people, you're just so intent to go off on your own?" He pursed his lips together, jaw clenched tightly. "Fine, leave me then. Leave me and Bernadette can just lock me in the basement like the last time."
"It's not ruined, it just can't be the same." Boy felt thoroughly scolded as he lowered his head even more and hunched his shoulders up around his ears. Before he had been sexless. There hadn't been time to know what arousal was because he never felt it. The few times he had ever even gotten close it had been shut down by Hugo. And now that he was exposed to it, understood what he felt towards Hugo, he couldn't shut it off. He would never be able to look at him without feeling it. So things would never be the same.
It was like being a pedophile, or committing the most basic ethical violation of his profession. It didn't matter that Hugo had ceased being a psychiatrist long long ago. And Boy had ceased being a patient the moment he'd bonded himself to him so intricately. The moment he'd killed him. Hugo got up and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Even though he didn't need to breathe, he felt like he was hyperventilating. Running the water, he filled up the sink and dunked his face in it, feeling like he was having a panic attack.
Boy didn't move from where he was sitting on the bed. Instead he just stayed put, knowing that from now on he just needed to go back to doing exactly as Hugo told him. He thought maybe if he stayed in the room all the time he wouldn't feel all the things he felt when he was out. he wouldn't want to do bad things.
It seemed that when he needed Boy, he was there for him less and less. He knew it was his own fault and when he came up from the water, he put his fist into the mirror, cracking it into spiderwebs. The minor cuts healed and he rinsed the glass away in the sink. As he stood there, he looked at the bathroom window. The dark expanse beyond it seemed to call to him and draw him out. But he didn't move, just stared and calmed himself with the possibilities.
If he left it would shatter what was left of Boy, but the young vampire knew not to beg him to stay. It wouldn't stop him from leaving, wouldn't help the situation any more. If anything it would simply add a new sense of desperation to what was already such a bad and miserable situation for him. He listened as the mirror shattered and as the sink finally turned off and he didn't move.
With resolve, Hugo turned on the water for the bathtub and then came back out into the bedroom. "Come on, we need to get you cleaned up." His quick hands started to unbutton Boy's shirt and pants, tugging them off so that they could be either thrown away or sent to the wash.
Boy let him undress him, much like before. There was nothing romantic about it, simply an adult undressing a child for his bath. Once he was nude he moved to climb into the water, not bothering to test the temperature first. He didn't care if it was hot or cold he wasj ust doing what Hugo told him to do.
Maybe it was prefunctory to Boy, but Hugo was having a hard time with it. Before, his mind could separate himself from the lust he felt for Boy, but now that he'd breached that, it was difficult for him. "Don't die inside. There's still a lot of joy to be had, sex isn't a bad thing. You didn't do anything wrong." He used his hands to gather water and run it over Boy's hair.
"It is. It ruined everything. If I hadn't done it then you wouldn't be so angry at me all the time." He frowned and tipped his head down so that he was just looking down at the water. "I thought it would be better when we did it. Because that was what we both wanted. But then it wasn't better and you left and then it was weird and I felt lonely. I don't like it, I don't like feeling like this."
Hugo took Boy's hands, scrubbing them clean of Lewis's blood. "Things take time. It takes time to let go of your morals and everything you thought you believed. It takes me time. Give me time." His words were starting to get muddled and even though his face looked completely relaxed, a couple of red streaks had started down his cheeks. Hugo leaned forward over the railing of the tub to pull Boy into a little kiss, testing the waters.
At first he tensed, but he scooted closer and let his mouth press more firmly to Hugo's after a second. The only thing he had ever wanted was to be closer to Hugo. and now that he had discovered sex it seemed like the perfect way to achieve that. But it had screwed everything up so badly he was tentative now. Afraid to make it any worse.
Even the slightest acceptance from Boy made Hugo go forward. Maybe clinging to his morals had helped keep him from going completely over the edge. But now that he was teetering on the edge, he needed to make a choice and leaping from the cliff was his decision. Still clothed, Hugo crawled into the bathtub, long crooked legs hiking over the sides of the tub like a spider crawling toward its prey. His black slacks turned even darker when they were soaked with water, but Hugo didn't mind since he was still kissing Boy. The kiss got rougher, more demanding as he pressed his body down onto Boy.
If Hugo was the spider, then there wasn't anyone who was happier to be prey than Boy. He scooted in more, finding the best way to mold his body against Hugo's as he sat in the water. His arms wrapped around him and he wiggled closer until their hips were pressed together. His legs were hooked over Hugo's and he tried to wrap himself up in the other.
Boy's awkwardness was infinitely alluring to Hugo and the blood he'd taken from a girl earlier was flowing rapidly through his veins. "See? It feels good. And I won't leave this time," maybe if he promised such a thing, he'd have a better time sticking to it.
Boy nodded, trusting that that would happen if Hugo said it. He ran his hands down over Hugo's stomach and to the top of his pants. He knew they would have to come off if they were going to be together. "is this okay?"
Hugo nodded, wanting Boy to continue down this line of thought. The wet fabric felt good against his skin, but he knew that a slick Boy would feel even better. Part of this made him sick, but maybe that was some of the attraction too, the wrongness to it. His mind was striving back to clarity and Boy was helping him do it.
Boy worked open Hugo's pants and he tried to tug them off but he was having trouble. Moving around he caused the water to slosh out of the tub but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he wanted to get Hugo's clothing off of him.
Gawky limbs untangled a little to help with the removal of clothing. With some more effort, Hugo's sopping clothes ended up on the floor beside the tub and he slid his naked body back around Boy, somehow wrapping him in something similar to the coils of a snake with his arms and torso and legs. "It's too late for this to be wrong," he spoke, but mostly to himself.
Boy scooted in as close as he could, legs still hooked over the top of Hugo's as he tried to pull himself closer. He tipped his head back and tried to press a kiss to his mouth. "I love you." he whispered. "I love you so much, please don't leave me."
Those words hurt a lot because how many times had Hugo left him? Over and over he would disappear, brain shutting down and leading him to god knew where. "Are you sure?" He had to ask, kissing Boy's throat, resisting the urge to bite down. "I love you too. I'll die if you go and never come back." He thought he'd add that last bit, given the fact that he'd gone so many times but he always came back when his brain kicked back into the real world.
"I'm sure." Boy was still clinging to him like he had to. His hands were working on getting his pants undone and he was careful as he tried to disrobe the other man. "I need to feel your skin on mine. I want to be closer to you." He needed it, didn't he understand that? "I need you, Hugo, I need you."
Hugo swallowed, wondering if Boy had any idea how much he'd wanted this and for how long. It was overwhelming as he got out of his clothes and finally sloshed down onto Boy. When they fell skin to skin, Hugo groaned and buried his face in Boy's neck. "Let me have you," he growled, wanting Boy's blood inside of him. It was the best way he knew how to connect.
Boy wrapped his arms tightly around Hugo and he tried to just wrap his entire body around him, as if he wanted to smother the other man. Tipping his head back, he allowed Hugo all the access he could manage to his throat because he wanted the other vampire to have him in every way possible. "Have me, have all of me."
All of him. The thought of it overwhelmed Hugo and made him feel so deliciously sane for a split second. If anyone could quiet his mind, it was Boy. He drank and drank, but not too much, because he wanted him alert. There wasn't much room to move and he smiled. "This reminds me of our little coffin at home. We can leave here if you want. I'll go anywhere so long as you're there." He was spouting sweet things against Boy's skin, wanting to make him happy. Wanting to assure himself that Boy wouldn't leave ever.
Having Hugo drink for him was more intimate than any sex they could have attempted, so once it was over he just slumped in closer to him, feeling satisfied even though he hadn't come yet. "We can go anywhere, I don't care, just don't leave me." And don't change, though that went unsaid. He was terrified tht Hugo would get bored of him and simply leave him behind.
The heat of the water was a pleasant contrast to their cold skin. Hugo's emotions were running high, but he felt in control, a rare and infinitely pleasing thing. "Bernie would miss you if we left," he murmered, starting to sit up and reach for the sponge and soap. He squeezed the two together in his hands, making lather spill out between his fingers.
"Bernie doesn't like me." Boy only remembered the threat she had placed against him when Hugo had spent the night locked in a room, in panic over Boy's disappearance. Since that day he had steered as clear of her as he could manage because he didn't want to cause anymore problems. And really, he was sort of terrified of her.
"How could anyone not like you?" He smoothed the sponge over Boy's body, tugging him up out of the water a little to wash him. Eventually, the sponge ran down over Boy's groin and Hugo pressed harder there, flicking his black eyes up to watch Boy's face change. "You have no idea how hard it's been to keep from having sex with you. I've wanted you from the very start. But you seemed so young, like a kid. It felt wrong, but I don't care anymore if it's wrong. You're mine and no one else's."
"She just doesn't. She doesn't like me." Boy knew that she didn't and he was certain that she would kill him given half a chance. "We can have sex right now." he whispered, his body lifting slightly so he could slide into Hugo's lap. "I just don't want you to leave me when it's over. I thought you'd come back after last time but you didn't. You didn't come back."
You didn't come back. Those words were razors against his skin, slicing wickedly into him. "I was ashamed. I'm your doctor and it's not ethical to sleep with you." But they had long since passed the relationship of doctor and patient. Hugo knew that now. "I won't leave," he reassured Boy and leaned up to lick at his shoulder, and then graze his teeth across the skin so that it would leave a thin line of blood in their wake.
The pain didn't bother Boy like it should have. Usually if it hurt him he would cry or get upset. But the way that Hugo nipped at him didn't really bother him. Scooting in as close as he could manage, he rocked up against Hugo, rubbing their hips together.
"Do you want sex? Do you like it?" He pulled back a little, studying Boy's face very very carefully. Hugo had gone a very long time without it--uninterested in it entirely unless Boy was involved. But he didn't want to force the other; the thought of that made him ill inside.
"I do." Boy whispered. He liked it, it felt good, but mostly he just liked being as close to Hugo as he could be. It meant so much more to him than the sex had with Sullivan. That had felt good but it hadn't been so amazing.
Hugo licked the trail of blood he'd created. "What was it like with the wolf?" He said, and it was in his usual clinical tone. He wanted to know and to Hugo, now was as good a time as any to ask since they were on the topic. As he spoke, he pressed their hips together, dipping his hand down to stretch around both of their cocks, stroking once up, then back down.
The feeling was enough to make Boy almost forget what the question was. Tilting his head forward, he laid his head against Hugo's shoulder and closed his eyes. "He was different than you. It felt good on my skin but you feel good in my heart."
"What did he do to you?" His hand kept moving and he focused on the way they felt against each other. Each jerk of his hand brought a little splash in the water. "Did you think about me?" Most people, that would be a question of jealousy, but Hugo really just wanted to know. There was no question about who Boy belonged to, so he had no reason to be jealous.
"I thought that you might be mad at me.' Boy said softly, his words quiet and his voice was heavy with arousal. "He put me on the hood of his truck and he just pushed against me. It hurt at first but felt good after."
He was so innocent that it made Hugo's heart ache. The world itself was so corrupted and disgusting, but here in this tub was the most pure, beautiful thing ever created. And he had created it. Sometimes it made him feel more powerful than God. "I wasn't mad, just afraid. I thought you'd finally gotten tired of me leaving and left yourself."
"No. I got lost. I was walking and I got lost and then I was so scared because I couldn't remember how to get home." It had happened twice, but Elijah had brought him back to the house instead of taking him to the wolf's haven like Sullivan had. "I'm sorry that I left. I just wanted to find someone who would talk to me.'
"It's all right," he murmered. "It's okay, I promise." Hugo rarely promised, knowing that his brain wouldn't let him keep them in the long run. He turned around to pull the plug from the tub and the water glubbed as it started to drain. He stood and lifted Boy to his feet and then turned the shower on to drench them in warm water. He let Boy lean against the cool tile and sunk to his knees in from of him, taking the other vampire's cock in his mouth, sucking it down hungrily.
Boy took a deep breath when he felt Hugo's mouth against his cock and he leaned into the wall as the other man went down on him. The feeling of it was undeniably good and he reached down to slide his hand through Hugo's hair. "That feels good."
His common sense descriptions were sweet and he would have smiled if his mouth wasn't so busy deep throating Boy. He swallowed around him, muscles of his throat gliding against him. Hugo was careful not to knick him, even if the thought of drinking from there had crossed his mind. Perhaps another time. After awhile, he pulled back and kissed his way back up Boy's chest, asking if he would like to taste himself before locking him in a kiss.
Wrapping his arms tightly around Hugo, he kissed him as deeply as he could manage. It knicked his tongue against his fangs and he barely even noticed. Both of his hands went sliding up and down his back and he scratched gently against the skin.
Pain and pleasure was similar to Hugo, all firings of the neurons in the brain reacting to signals sent by his body. He wanted more of everything, and the moment that blood was put in the mix, a switch flicked on in Hugo and he wrapped his hands down around the backs of Boy's thighs and lifted him up off the ground, pinning him back against the tile. In one desperate thrust, he'd lowered Boy onto his cock, piercing up into him.
Boy cried out loudly, but the majority of the noise was muffled by the kiss they shared. His nails dug into the small of Hugo's back, fingers pressing hard against his skin. hard enough that he was going to leave marks. Both of his legs wrapped around Hugo's hips and he tried to pull him in as far as he could.
Currently, Hugo was tumbling over the edge and the sex got rough, but not angry, just painfully urgent and raw. Each thrust was jarring and Hugo's body pressed hard against Boy's, nearly crushing it with his strength. Fortunately, Boy's body was built to take the abuse. He fucked him ruthlessly and if Hugo had breath, he would have been out of it by the time he came.
The pain was good because he knew that it was caused out of love, and he just clung to Hugo as they fucked. He came before the other vampire, his whole body reacting as he squirmed and tensed up and just thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. Though even when it was over he didn't let go of him. He just held him tightly.
Hugo held himself inside, claiming Boy's body firmly. "Mine," he said, face buried in the other's neck. A possession, a creation, a lover. He almost couldn't stand how good this felt. Somehow he felt he didn't deserve it and that each stolen moment of bliss would be paid for in agony later.
"I love you." Boy said quietly but unafraid. His arms circled tightly around Hugo's shoulders and he let one hand slide up into his hair to curl his fingers into the dark locks. "Can we sleep together during the day?"
"Yes," he nodded and finally let Boy down, keeping a hold on him in case his legs were unfit for standing. "I love you more than anything." That was a big deal because Hugo had loved his wife very much. But he would have traded her for Boy and even though that made him feel guilty, he knew it was true.
|
|
|
|