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[Sep. 5th, 2009|10:29 pm] |
Wendell had been using his medical knowledge to keep infection from setting in too soon. Their systems were naturally hardier than humans, but Joseph and his pack had really done numbers on Wendell and Vance. Part of Wen wanted to die out there in the middle of nowhere just so that Hunter never had to find out about what had happened. He'd felt guilty and worthless too since Vance had been so brutalized anyway. They'd travelled as much as was possible, trying to get to a road, but ultimately the pain and lack of food or drink got the better of Wendell and he found them a little rock shelter before falling into a deep sleep.
For some reason, the connection to the pack hadn't been so strong across statelines as it usually was. Hunter wasn't sure whether the stress of the situation was to blame, or if his age was starting to catch up to him. Maybe it was the fact that after his own kidnapping he had never really fully recovered. Not to the way he had been before. When they recovered Jeremiah the little boy was filthy and hurt, starved nearly to death, and that set Hunter's mind spiraling as to what had happened to his mate and to the other wolves. If they had been able to do that to a boy, what were they capable of doing to adults? With Shane and Everett, they scoured the woods where Jeremiah was found. But eventually they had to make the long drive back to the haven, leaving behind what little hope he had to find his lover. It was another two days before he had any taste of hope again, the faintest feeling that the two were somewhere he could get to them. It was enough and he and Shane set out again, this time leaving the boys in Everett's care as they left first thing in the morning. It was a four hour drive. Another three spent in the woods before they made their way to the mouth of the rock shelter. The scent was strong now, the feeling, and Hunter was frantic as he went inside. Seeing the two on the ground was enough to make him sick, but he swallowed back the nausea as he went to Wendell, scooping him gently up so that he was in his lap. "Wendell, my darling. Wake up." he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead but he was gentle as he tried to urge him awake.
Hunter's touch reached into his disturbing dreams and as consciousness inched up on him he whimpered. At first it was easy to mistake the embrace for Joseph, the power was similar and Wendell woke fearing that the man had come back for him. "No!" He said before he realized who it was. When the dawn set in, he broke down into tears, turning his body to Hunter's. "I'm sorry," he cried and murmured. "I'm sorry Hunter. Please forgive me. Please. I'm so sorry."
The fact that Wendell was begging for his forgiveness made Hunter frown, but he held back the anger that started to swell inside of him. He wanted to cry out in anguish, but instead he just carefully pulled him up in his arms, cradling him as if he were a small child. He was no such thing, but in this moment Wendell felt as vulnerable as Jeremiah had when they found him. His hand came up and he brushed his fingers gently along the side of Wendell's jaw and he brushed his hair back out of his face. "Shh." he whispered to him, his head coming down so their foreheads touched together. "I'm here now, you're going to be all right.' It was late, he knew. Too late to save him from the damage that Joseph had already done. Hunter was afraid that maybe the light had been pulled from his mate, but he knew it was too soon to tell. "I'll take you home, you're going to be safe now, I promise. You're safe, I've got you."
"Jeremiah. I don't know where he is. I lost him. I couldn't protect him." He had convinced himself that they'd dumped the boy's body somewhere. He could smell his blood in the forrest. All he could think about was Julian's face when he had to tell him.
"We've got Jeremiah, Wendell. He's already back at the Haven. Everett is watching him and Julian with Joshua tonight." He rubbed his hand gently along the side of his face. "We're going to get you and Vance home. I'll take care of you, I promise." He picked him up carefully, letting Shane pick up Vance, who was still unconscious.
The dark parts of Wendell wanted to scream at Hunter to put him down. Don't save him. He clearly was not strong enough to be worthy of Hunter. But he couldn't bear to push the man away and instead, he clung to him. Home with Vance and Jeremiah was there too. It was the most relieving news.
Hunter carried him carefully out of the cave and in the direction of the car. Shane was just behind him. They had already laid the back seat out and it was full of blankets, water and food so that they could eat and hydrate as they made their way back to the haven. Hunter let Shane drive and he climbed up into the back with his wolves. "I'm going to get you some water, all right Wendell?"
Wendell was staring at Vance, trying to reassure himself that the boy was only asleep. When Hunter spoke he nodded and tried to sit up. He wiped his hand across his face, disgusted with how dirty he was and how he knew that he smelled. Joseph had purposefully not allowed Wendell to shower afterward and now there was blood and filth piled on top of it. "Where were we?"
Twisting the cap off of the water bottle, he pulled Wendell back against him and he held the water up for him. "We are in the woods somewhere between Cold Water and Portland. About four hours away from the Haven."
Wendell swallowed some of the water. The cool liquid hit his stomach and he groaned. It made him feel sick, but he knew he needed it. "I tried to identify plants--and I knew we were at least in the Northwest still." His voice seemed impossibly dry and he drank more water. "Hunter," he said just to say his name and put his face in his hands. "Is Cassidy safe? Joseph said the boy would come to him."
Hunter brushed his fingers back through Wendell's hair and he frowned a little bit. "Cassidy went to them. He left in the middle of the night. We aren't sure where he is yet but we haven't stopped looking." That wasn't something that Wendell was going to want to hear, but he wasn't going to lie to him.
His face fell even farther. All of it really had been for nothing. He'd protected no one. Wendell hitched his knees up even though it hurt his bruised ribs and aching muscles. He didn't want to, but the tears were coming again and he couldn't hold them back.
"Shh.' He rubbed his hand up and down Wendell's back and he just held him closer. "Don't cry, we'll find him. It'll be all right." He felt completely horrible about everything but he was doing his best not to lose it in front of anyone.
As Wendell was crying, he still tried to talk. "I missed Parker's first bath. And they nearly beat Vance to death. And Joseph promised me he wouldn't. He gave me his word." And Wendell had trusted it. He'd been so stupid.
"Shh. There will be plenty of baths for you to help with. And Vance will be all right." Physically, anyway, he wasn't sure how long it would take the wolf to recover mentally from what had been done to him. He pulled Wendell in closer and kissed him very gently. "It's all right. You'll be all right. I promise"
This only served to make him feel weaker, but right now he didn't care so much. He'd never had a problem with being physically weak before, but after this experience he could see its downfalls. He fell silent for awhile, letting Hunter's body warm him and the drone of the road home soothe him.
"I love you." Hunter whispered to him, pressing a kiss to the side of his head as he sat there with Wendell cradled in his arms. He rubbed his hand carefully up and down his back, not sure what sort of damage had been done to his lover and he didn't want to hurt him accidentally. "It will all be all right."
It felt good to hear him say that and Wendell mumbled it back quietly as he reached out for more water. He thought maybe he could drink a lake now that he'd gotten started. Four hours passed quickly because as he calmed down he drifted in and out of sleep. Once he woke up with a start, but upon realizing he was safe went right back to sleep.
When they got out of the truck, Hunter let Shane take Vance again and he lifted Wendell out of the back and into his arms. He held him tightly as he carried him towards the house. He was going to take him for a bath and then he was going to get him something to eat before tucking him into bed.
"I knew you'd find us," he said as he buried his face in Hunter's neck. He'd never stopped having faith in the man. "I still feel dried out." He desperately needed a bath, though he knew it would hurt. No matter how much he'd tried to keep their wounds clean, Wendell's had gathered bacteria.
"I am going to put you in the bath baby, and then I am going to go and grab a bottle of water for you and also something easy to eat." Some crackers and maybe a little cheese, something that he could stomach.
Having Hunter take care of him made Wendell smile a little and he wasn't entirely surprised that the man could pull happiness from the abyss. "I love you so much." He wanted to beg more for forgiveness but he couldn't bring himself to say the words.
"I love you too." Hunter kissed his forehead and then down to his lips. "I am going to put you in the bath and when I get back with food and water I will get in with you, all right?" he had no illusions about what had happened. Hunter could smell the sex on Wendell. But he was going to try not to treat him like a fragile broken thing. Instead he was going to clean him up and then hold him for as long as the water stayed warm.
Wendell didn't want Hunter to leave even for a second but he nodded. When they got inside and up to the bathroom, he undressed slowly. It felt good to get the grimey clothes off. "I'm going to burn these," he wrinkled his nose and shuddered. Being naked wasn't great right now though and it showed in his posture.
Once the tub was full, he helped Wendell to slide into the water and he drew the curtain around him so that he had privacy, even against Hunter. "I'll be back in a minute. i'll be quick and then I will help you get cleaned up and into some pajamas."
The now empty bathroom was dead quiet because Wendell wasn't making a move. The warm water stung at first but then felt good. He knew it wasn't the best idea to submerge a gunshot wound, but he wanted the bath so badly. He kept his knee hitched so the water didn't cover it. It was slowly sinking in that he was really home. Taking the washcloth, he soaped it up and started scrubbing. Once he got started he just kept going, scrubbing so hard that his skin was turning red from irritation.
When Hunter got back to the bathroom he ptu the water and food down, sort of surprised at Wendell. "Hey, hey... careful." he took the cloth carefully from Wendell and he submerged it in the warm water and then drew it up over his skin, gently wiping away the grime. "we're going to have to be careful with your knee."
He flinched away, but stopped himself knowing that Hunter was helping. His body had all of the pent up emotion and it was coming out in little bursts that Wen was trying to control. He just wanted the smell off of him. "I tried to shift to make it heal more cleanly but I just couldn't."
"You are exhausted. I will help you shift in the morning if you still want to, but only after you've had some rest.' Hunter was going to have to do his best to clean out the wound and then to wrap it for the night so that it didn't bleed through the sheets. It wouldn't get infected, so he wasn't worried about that, but he just didn't want there to be a mess.
"I don't know what I want." He reached forward and unplugged the bathtub, letting the already brown water drain. He tried to believe that the experience washed down with the dirt and blood. "He said he wouldn't hurt them if I cooperated. That he'd feed them and give them water. So I did everything he wanted, Hunter." His voice sounded distant.
"You did everything that he wanted because you thought it was the right thing to do, Wendell. And for that I am proud of you." He got up from the floor so he could get towels to wrap his lover up in. "I am just so thankful that you are all right."
He searched Hunter's face for anything that might indicate there was hidden tension there. "It felt a little like you. I tried to imagine you but that only made it worse because--because I didn't want to associate you with him." Maybe Hunter didn't need to know these things, but Wendell needed to tell him. He got out of the tub, skin and hair clean at least.
Hunter wrapped him into one of the large, soft towels, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "If you want to talk about it we can talk about it." He didn't want to hear it, but he would, just in case Wendell needed to speak about it.
"I'm just--I was just scared because of what happened with Gael. I'm scared that deep down you'll think I wanted what happened and you'll never look at me the same way." He felt sick to his stomach when he let those thoughts be out loud.
"I'm never going to think less of you for what happened. You wanted Gael, but you didn't take him. And what Joseph took from you was against your will. The only reason you even allowed it to happen without a fight is becuase of Vance. You tried to save him."
"I have a PhD in psychology. I should have known he was lying. I should have known not to give into him." He shook his head, not letting himself off the hook nearly as easily as Hunter was.
"You thought you were doing what was right." He pressed another kiss to his cheek and then he guided Wendell into the bedroom where his pajamas were laying out on the end of the bed. "Let's get your knee bandaged up and then you can put on your pajamas."
The bandaging didn't take long and Wendell was still during the process, letting Hunter take over when normally Wendell would have wanted to butt in and talk about ancient wound dressing practices. Finally getting into his pajamas, he felt like a little kid that Hunter had to care for and it disturbed him. When he was finished he sat on the edge of the bed looking down at his light blue linen pjs.
Hunter changed as well and he moved to crawl into bed with Wendell. "Lay down with me." He said softly, a request more than a demand because in that moment he wanted Wendell to be able to make his own decisions.
Wendell heard the subtle difference and he had to smile a little. Hunter was being so perfect and Wendell wasn't sure he deserved that kind of treatment. Logically, he knew he hadn't done anything wrong. Emotionally, he still felt like a failure. But he was home now and the boys were home and that was the best thing that could have come from this situation. While he still feared for Cassidy, he knew that in the long run, he would be rescued too. He got under the covers and turned his body toward Hunter's, curling against him easily.
Both of Hunter's arms went around him and he drew Wendell in close. "I was so scared that I was never going to get you back." Hunter admitted to him quietly. That wasn't something that he would often fess up to, not even to Wendell. Fear was a powerful thing and he liked to think he was above feeling it, but he had been afraid for Wendell.
He could feel the gravity of that statement and it made him feel loved. "I think maybe I need to learn some kung fu or something," he murmured quietly against Hunter's chest, the faintest hint of mirth to his voice. Wendell was not completely lost, that was clear now.
Hunter laughed softly and he leaned his head down so that their forheads were touching. "I'll teach you krav maga." Hunter said, as if he really knew the fighting technique.
That made Wendell laugh outright and he tilted his head so he could kiss Hunter on the chin. "Thank you," he said and let his eyes drift closed. Sleep would take him soon; he could feel it at his heels.
Hunter stayed awake, he kept his arms around Wendell and he watched as his features shifted and sleep started to overcome the smaller wolf. He wouldn't sleep all night, he knew that all right.
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