| In the moment |
[02 Mar 2010|06:03pm] |
Right now, I'm in one of those moods. It feels like everyone around me has completely gone off their gourd, and my usual answer to this is to just stop getting input from that source.
It goes in the well, away from people's prying eyes. Everyone tells me how troublesome this all is, so it's best in the well. People don't lose their patience that way, or their tempers, or their fingers. There's complaints when I leave the well open, so I don't. But then I get yelled at for hiding it. Well.
I've tried this a million times before, but I never get very far. Someone starts at me again, and I never have the energy to get back to it. Or I make it private, and/or delete it once I'm on the rise back up. Or the contradictions eat at me until I'm convinced it's just asking for it to say anything-- I won't ever win, I'll always be the wrong thing, and any attempt to fix it is only going to piss people off more.
But right now, I'm happy to ride the wave of anger, because at least it's something beyond the constant confusion.
Here I am, at the bottom of the well, and the view looks green with algae.
( A conversation with a world gone mad )
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