I ended up letting her come. I always do that. It's like I don't know how to say no to her. I just can't let her be there alone scared and sad. Me and her are closer than anything and anybody else. Siamese twins don't have anything on us. We're attached to each other.

Being so close to her all the time didn't bother me or anything until now. Now it's like..sometimes my heart skip beats if our hands touch by mere coincidence. I'm so use to her always being with me that whenever she's not around it feels weird. I didn't realize how strongly I felt until I read her journal and saw all the stuff about what she said about me.

It made my heart feel so happy to know I mean a lot to her. Because she sure means a lot to me. I couldn't stay sleeping in the same bed. It was torture. Feeling her warm breath against my skin. Listening to her cute light snores. Smelling her skin and hair. Feeling her curl up real close against me, clinging on me tighter the louder the thunder got.

It was like heaven and hell at the same time. It wasn't enough for me to suddenly realize I was in love with her just a few moments ago. But for me to feel like everything was spiraling out of control so fast. My heart racing, my mouth dry, my mind scrambled. I'm not sure what to do. Everything hit me like a ton of bricks.

Is now even the right time to even be feeling like this? We have a tour to deal with. We have to go allllll the way down to Japan. We're not even going to be by ourselves. Travis and Marky will be there.

I'm exhausted but it's hard to sleep with her holding on to me and my heart beating louder than thunder. She sleeps like the dead. I swear. How can she not hear it? And when she does hear it, she whimpers softly and buries her face into my neck. Then I die all over again. UGH!! What am I going to do?!

I'm going to sleep on the couch. I give up.