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[17 Jul 2008|11:13am] |
Pardon my dust; I took down my userinfo because I'm working on a new one and my layout isn't that great. I took coding I'd used on another journal on GJ (an RP journal, actually) so I need to work out the colours and get a header and change the word for the comments and blah blah blah yada yada yada.
Today I take him back to the airport and he goes home. Of course I'm disappointed that it didn't work out, but I feel a bit... cheated out of a great many things and very disappointed. The only thing I'm looking forward to now is when Paine's parents leave and I will be staying over at her house while they're gone. I'll get to get away from my parents and have some peace and quiet before I head back to Shanghai.
I haven't been exercising or eating well while he's been here, so I need to get back on the ball with that once he leaves. I do not want to go back to Asia and be called "the really pretty fat girl" or hear "it's okay that you're fat because you're American." Worst part is that here no one really understands because by American standards I am not fat... just average. But by Asian standards... dear god. And besides, I don't want to miss out on the shopping.
I had to go back to my university yesterday to re-apply for graduation. It was really annoying having to drive two hours there and two hours back, but for the sake of my degree it's worth it. I'm in the clear and I'll get my degree at the beginning of next month.
I really hope I can find a way to get a job in Shanghai. Usually they don't let you even have a part-time job with a student visa but it's been done before. However, the Chinese police have been cracking down on those who accept part-time jobs as English teachers. In fact, a lot of my American university classmates who had settled down in Shanghai are having issues because they changed the law; you have to be 25 to get a working visa. Most of them are either 23 or 24 so they will have to leave China soon. D:
I'm sure life will work itself out.
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| Rant. |
[17 Jul 2008|06:24pm] |
(Yes, this was partially inspired by the comments in my last post, but mainly inspired by those around me and something I've wanted to get off my chest for a while)
Why do people judge what they don't understand?
I tell people that in Asia I would be considered fat and that is why I don't feel like going out to eat or don't eat as much as everyone else. Then they hate on China, but continue fangirling or fanboying Japan like it's any different. NEWSFLESH: it's not. If you go to an East Asian country, they are all of the exact. same. prejudice that Americans are fat because guess what? We are the SECOND FATTEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. 1 in 4 Americans is obese. Not fat. Not chubby. Obese. This is a FACT.
I have a Chinese friend who is 120 lbs and 5'8" and her people call her fat. If she went to Japan, they would say she's fat too.
When I was in Taiwan and Japan, I got the exact same treatment as I did in China, and anyone who spends considerable amount of time in Asia would realise the same thing. It doesn't matter if it's Korea or Thailand or Indonesia: if you aren't a stick, you are fat.
Is it unhealthy for Asian countries - not just China! - to be like this? Yeah. I do think ALL Asian women are obsessed with weight more than they should be. If you buy any Japanese fashion magazine (with the exception of Lolita as they're more for making your own clothes than buying them), the end of the magazine is full of ads for two things: one is breast enhancement. The other is losing weight, and there are way more ads for losing weight than breast enhancement.
But what bothers me is that it seems like it's okay to hate on them for making a true statement: in America, it is more culturally acceptable to not be thin than it is to be thin in Asia. Here, we have people who say "big is beautiful". In Asia, if you said that, people would laugh in your face. So, why else wouldn't they say, "It's okay that you're fat because you are American"? They think it's a part of your culture to eat greasy fast food. If you don't want them to have that prejudice, then you had better start changing something because they get that opinion from our movies and our TV shows that they can rent and buy off the street.
I just get so angry because people seem to worship Asia, especially Japan, like it's this perfect place and has this awesome fantastic culture and it's soooo wonderful and yet they don't want to see that they have flaws but it's okay to hate on China because China has issues and never mind the fact that without China, half of Japan's culture wouldn't even exist as the Japanese even got silk, kimono, tea ceremony, rice, their writing system, and their religious and philosophical thinking FROM China. Most everyone BORROWED from China, so if you want to hate on China, then you'd better hate on the rest of Asia too, because if it wasn't for China's existence, especially in the early Tang Dynasty where trade opened and people flooded in from Korea, Japan, Vietnam, etc to learn of the Chinese way then a lot of the culture you have today that you think is "sooooo cool" wouldn't exist.
So please. Learn that people are different than you and just because they have different mindsets than you doesn't mean you should just disapprove, because there's a reason behind it and you're not even bothering to look for it.
EDIT: I decided to disable comments as I've come to an epiphany today about some things and I shouldn't be posting anyway, but didn't want to delete my post.
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| My final entry here... and probably elsewhere. |
[17 Jul 2008|06:32pm] |
After spending time with him (he's gone now) plus recent observations as of late and I have decided to abandon blogging altogether with the exception of my LiveJournal as it's connected to people I know IRL and my LostJournal, as it will be my main journaling source.
Here's why.
When I spent time with him, he was completely different in person than he was online. I, on the other hand, had not been any different. I was exactly how I described myself both in my journal and in IM chats. I had not undersold nor oversold myself. He had done the latter, and I was met with a bitter disappointment.
This has discouraged me from making serious online friendships, mainly because I knew him for three years and we talked daily, far more than I've talked to anyone on here, because I feel like while I am being honest, if one of my own best friends is not on purpose deceiving me then how can I know how true a person actually is in person?
You can't.
Not to mention that once I get to China I won't have time anyway.
So... take care, everyone, and be safe and strong.
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