I use to spend my nights drunk ass fuck getting drunker by the second...now I spend them looking up at the sky missing Roxan. Weird isn't it? I just realized being sober is cool. I can actually remember things..and cherish special moments..not just throw up in people's closets by accident and blank out. No more waking up in stranger's bathtubs I guess. I found new sober ways to have fun.

I stopped one addiction..only to get wrapped up in another. Roxan. She is officially my new addiction. Her smile is my addiction, the way she smells is my addiction, it gets me high. I have decided to try and make her my girlfriend. I am no good with relationships, they always end terribly and horribly and diasterly and .. whateverly. Yes. Just...UGH. They really suck the same way clit pumps do. Get it? Clit pumps suck because of their suction? So they like literally suck.. okay next time I'll think of a better comparison.

Roxan is on the phone with me as I write this. She is on speaker because I love hearing her through both my ears, like stereo. I even closed my eyes for a little bit and pretended that she was right here next to me. She left one of her shirts here so I'm going to keep it forever and sleep with it, so I can smell her.

Tomorrow, I'm going to make her my girlfriend officially. No matter what happens. I'm saying that because I have really shitty luck and something terrible can happen between right now and tomorrow. Like..her house could just blow up. Or that Betta fish thing could get rabies and kill her whole family and she's too depressed to even want to see me let alone go out with me.

I don't want to get off the phone with her. So she came up with the idea of us going to sleep together on the phone. I get to listen to her breathing softly..and she gets to listen to me snore like a fat old man. Not so hot? I know. I'm going to like buy a book to teach me how the fuck not to snore like a demon grizzly bear or some shit. What can I say? We all have flaws, I just might have more than others. God was pretty generous with me when it came to that kinda shit.

But yes, tomorrow is a brand new day and I have very big big plans. Here's a list of my goals.
1. Ask Roxan to be my girlfriend.
2. Make out with her and spend time with her.
3. Find ways to really piss Rowen off.
4. Meet Rex because I hear he's pretty cool.
5. Make an entry full of only song lyrics describing how I feel.
6. Burn Roxan a cool mix CD!