Today should be the happiest day of my life. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. I am too drunk to tell how I feel right now. My album titled Wild, came out today. My songs are playing everywhere. My song is even being sung by Alvin & The Shitmonks. Chipmonks. Same shit. I should feel on top of the world. I am on top of the world. Maybe that's why I'm so fucking dizzy and want to throw up everywhere.



I am not sure how much I drank. I just know I was going at it, bottle after bottle. I would of licked the bottles clean if my tongue fit through. I'm cracking up in the dark. My single Tik Tok is the most downloaded song on ITUNES and the second most downloaded song is Right Round and I'm in that song too. So boom bitches. Suck my dick. Lick my dildo. Give me a blow job. Give me a handjob. Just shut your mouth. Just kiss my fucking ass.

Wow, I feel real fucked up guys. Like really fucked up. There's aliens in my fucking closet. They're trying to cut my hair and make mustaches out of it. I can't let them. Because then they will be able to steal my singing voice like Ursula does in The Little Mermaid to Ariel. Holy shit..I must perform an exorcism on my big toe, it's speaking Arabic and dancing around like Shakira.

Aliens ... have been eating my fruit loops while I've been sleeping. I found their fingerprints on the box. There really is a District 9, that's not just a movie. It was Notradamus who predicted that shit happening in the future. Even Oprah said that shit was true. I think I want to start an orgy. ORGY. ORGY. ORGY. ORGY.

I want to have an orgy with someone named Georgie. But I don't know a Georgie. I guess I'm going to have to settle for this bitch I brought back home with me. Her name is...I DONT FUCKING REMEMBER. Oh well. I don't need to remember her name. It doesn't matter. Remembering is for losers anyway. It's all about forgetting. That's what all the cool kids do. We forget. We live to forget.

Let's go sugartits, help me forget.