Fuck, keep your pants on.

Here. It. Is.

[insert Alena's number]

You don't have to be a bitch about it.

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Thank you. 'Bout fucking time.

It's your lucky day, I might just consider giving you something free next time I see you.

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No problem.

Oxies, we need more Oxies. Wait, I'm almost out of Adderall, that'd work too. Cool.

When you talk to her, tell the dumb bitch that she still owes me five bucks. The less I have to talk to her, the better.

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Heads up, she's likely to punch you next time she sees you.

Remind her that I'd quite like to keep you alive and kicking and it should all be fine.

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Why the sudden does everyone think she's going to punch me? I've given that whore no reason to punch me.

Consider it done.

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Who else?

Because I might have coerced you into giving me her number when you possibly shouldn't have.

And don't call her a whore.

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A friend of mine said the same thing, more or less

What the fuck have I gotten myself into here?
Why possibly shouldn't I have given you her number?

You're right, she's not a whore. She's just a dumbass.

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Oh.

No real reason. Besides, now that she wants stuff from me, it shouldn't be a problem, should it?

You need to start watching your mouth.

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There is something I'm missing here. Something's happened that I'm not aware of... What the shit happened between you and Alkeinos?

Right. Please, please tell me it's not blow or anything like that, because I might be forced to kill her.

So I've been told a few times before; guess it hasn't sunk in.

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It's not blow. Happy?

That's because you're a little shit half the time. Yeah, I've noticed that.

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YOU DATED
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO
ARE YOU RETARDED!?

So... you and Alkeinos? Wow, I'm really, really sorry you had to go through with that.

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In the interest of not killing you, I'll take that in the spirit it was meant.

Thank you.

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Man, just so you know....




...she's definitely gonna punch you the next time she sees you. You're lucky if she doesn't aim right for your face, or try to knee you in the balls.

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And why the hell is she going to punch me?

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Don't you remember all the shit that went down between Alena and Kasey, man?

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...no?

What the shit are you talking about?

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...how?

Dude, Le like, filed a fucking restraining order against Kasey a few years ago, after they dated, because...well, as sweet as Kasey is, she's out of her God damn mind, man! She told me about it a while ago, when I answered the phone and she was over, and told Kasey to come by and drop off whatever the hell she was getting for you that week, and Alena like...basically ran away, leavin a big cloud of dust behind her.

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I think I'm going to be sick.

They... she... KC... dated... That's disgusting! Why would somebody want to do that!? We all know that Sherlock's been brainwasher by her over the years, but why would someone willing date Alena Alkeinos!?

Oh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

When the shit did this happen, and why was I not informed that my dealer dated that before now!?

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Use your words, man.

I dunno man. I mean, the girl's a good friend of mine, and I don't loathe her like you do, but I've never really thought of her as someone I'd wanna date...mainly because I see how she is with Gabe, and that's pretty insane.

This happened like...I don't know, back in high school? And we didn't tell you because...we all hate you.

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Face.

That's redonkulous! Damn straight you'd never want to date her! I'd disown you... even though we aren't even related. How she is with Gabe? You know there's a word for that? Disgusting.

I thought she was dating him back in high school? I don't even know, I was on so much shit back then... it was kind of a blur. Love you too, dipshit.

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I'm not usually around them when they're together, since Gabe and I aren't exactly on our way to making matching besties bracelets. I've just heard stories. Pretty disturbing stories, to be more specific.

She was, they dated on and off. She went out with Gabe, Kasey, and then...I think Gabe again...or maybe it was that Oriel kid, and then Gabe...and then Oriel again, and then...Gabe. I don't know, that chick's dating record is rediculous.

Yeah, high school was pretty rough on you, bro. I'm surprised you still remember me, you little bitch. And when I say little bitch, I clearly mean...you're a little bitch.

Bahaha.

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Shit, that makes my brain hurt.

-sigh- You're redonkulous.

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