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[Jan. 15th, 2009|01:12 am] |
to say i don't care wouldn't be a lie...
but my life is different than it was a year before. case and point? i'm falling in love with a man 28 years old. he's gorgeous and loving and this is what i needed.
to say i'm always in love wouldn't be a lie, either. |
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[Oct. 3rd, 2008|03:56 am] |
settling for what i have is okay.
for years it's been hard for me, as the romantic as i am, to realise my relationships aren't anything how i wish them to be.
nothing whirlwind romance.
i for once get roped into it.
what i have now is more..comfortable. there is no passion, but i'm coming to terms with maybe, for me, that's okay. i'm starting to believe that's not what i need anymore, or at least not right now. i get scared i'll be like my parents, but that's not how my relationship is to begin with.
i love you.
i do. and it hurts me to think i could love you more if it weren't for so many parts of my heart being taken before. i'm not used to someone treating me so well. and i'm trying to tell myself it's not because you buy me everything. it's not. i love you because you're the one person i know will never hurt me. i've hurt you horribly before and you fail to remind me.
maybe i love you because you don't understand my pop culture references, or why i get scared at night. maybe i love you because things fly totally beyond your head.
maybe i love you because you never say hateful things to me. you never have. i don't think you can. you adore me, as i you. i think you're just what i need. i'm okay with that.
it's been a year since i've known you. you're getting me a ring to commemorate that. i think it's sweet. i think all this effort you put into making me happy is sweet.
i am happy. content.
IN OTHER NEWS-
COMB OVER SCENESTER BANGS MAKE ME WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE. DNW. |
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| you know |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|02:54 am] |
hickeys suck. and mine are huge.
fuck
i don't really have much to say...if you're curious about what i do, my lj has more detailllll. |
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| to quote jac |
[Sep. 11th, 2008|11:56 am] |
"it's not like i'm addicted to these...i took two today. no four. SHIT"
love her.
happy birthday kat
! |
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| being the simpleton that i am |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|11:02 pm] |
after 9 hours of classes, the one thing that makes me smile?
going to the lounge and finding they sell big gulp sized cups of pudding with three inches of chocolate chips on them.
god called. he loves me best. |
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[Sep. 1st, 2008|12:56 pm] |
why the fuck did i take bio
school tomo. hopefully i get to meet miles, the dreadlocked white dude. ;] |
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| today eighteen years ago |
[Aug. 31st, 2008|02:31 am] |
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i was exploded out of a vagina and born. sweeet.(: |
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[Aug. 26th, 2008|09:51 pm] |
would you have let me come to be with you?
it's weird. i have such high hopes for all of you. i can see future artists, writers, life changing people. i wish i had spent more time with all you have when i had the chance.
most of you aren't that far away, but to be honest, things are going to be a lot different.
i say this because my best friend of...well, since forever, she's gone. colleen left yesterday. and everyone who knew me or her knew we were inseparable. to be cliche and super corny, i feel like half of myself is missing. but i have to go on , i guess.
so i'll be the news here in farmington. in case we have a nother miss seaman going rampant, i'll be the first to notify you all.
i start madonna next week, as well. i'm actually not a psych major any longer...
i'm going to be a teacher (: i want to teach kindygarteners...i mean it! |
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| ugh y'all |
[Aug. 4th, 2008|09:18 pm] |
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i hate journals. i ain't keeping this on no mo |
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[Jul. 27th, 2008|11:33 pm] |
you know how i know i've gotten older?
i've mastered the messy omgtop of the head like a poofball bun
now i need sweats, bronzer and blindingly white teeth and i'll be set
my trip was good fun, it's nice to be home amongst people who i can actually understand
scratch that
most of you mutter and mumble anyway
WELL
it's nice to be home. august starts on thursday and y'all know what's in august, amirite?
BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~~~
fuck all the sad shit i refuse to update on it. my boyfriend and i are going through a hardpatch, my grandma just got out of the hospital, and i got really sick over my trip THATS ALL FOLKS |
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[Jul. 11th, 2008|02:21 am] |
packing for two weeks in a backpack FUCKING SUCKS
that is all |
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| in the midst of packing for adventure. |
[Jun. 29th, 2008|10:37 pm] |
holy moley
it is a little bit short of a chaotic mess getting ready for my cross country trip but i am so pumped!
we went to a church today and jesus's face was painted black
from the riots back in the sixties
but it was strange
i'm strange, really. |
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| boy i hear you in my dreams, hear you whisper across the sea |
[Jun. 21st, 2008|11:33 pm] |
<small> i am so tired lately
maybe it's cause i work a lot
i also think it's cause
well, i know why
in twenty days i travel across the world
it's worrisome and exciting at the same time
i'm going to miss my family though. my adam.
i feel like though, i have to do this for myself.
so i'm going to
i think negative about these things, worst possible situation scenarios. i have got to stop doing that. it stresses me too much! i'll be fine, i know it. i'm just scared |
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| hello. |
[May. 14th, 2008|12:44 am] |
i hate these things but i figure, it'll help me see what y'all are doing, most of the people i truly care about i rarely see anymore, albeit colleen.
and you should all realise it's me. who else would have a usericon so obscene? (: |
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