dr. bert bartok. (bartok) wrote,
@ 2009-07-22 15:56:00

The wilting summer leaves that were quickly changing to autumn dropped sinisterly to the ground as Bert Bartok walked into Allegro School of Music for the first time in two weeks. Bert never spent this amount of time away from school, let alone the very first two weeks of school. The longest he had gone away was just a few days for treatment, but now that things weren't going so well, Bert stayed away for longer, undergoing the nasty treatment that the doctors forced him to undergo.

They had promised that there was still hope, that there was a way to make him better. Even when Bert didn't really care about the treatment, his family made him do it because he was too young to go.

Bert stepped on the lit cigarette that he wasn't supposed to be inhaling, letting it go out with a turn of his heel. Normally, Bert hid the fact that he smoked, but it didn't matter so much anymore. He opened the front door to Allegro, sliding through the door much more easily than usual because he had lost a bit more weight than usual this time around. As he stepped into his office, he closed the door behind him, paling when he saw a note from the director on his desk. Bert knew what this was about. Of course he wanted to inform the rest of the staff why Bert wasn't there; it was only appropriate that they should all know.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise; Bert didn't really want to be there when they all found out. That still didn't stop Bert from being angry that the director didn't ask him for permission first.

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brideofwind
2009-07-22 09:20 pm UTC (link)

Bert's office was just down the hall from Alma's, where she remained holed up with a mug of tea from the lounge and the term's first essays she was supposed to be grading, but with Bert in such close proximity, she couldn't help but keep her ears perked for any sounds of his arrival. It had been two weeks, and the whole music staff had been picking up his classes. The first few days with his absence had left Alma slightly confused, but when the time grew and the director explained to the staff the reason -- well. Alma still didn't know how to react, so she avoided it entirely.

When whispers passing by her open office door said that Bert was finally back, however, calm as Alma had tried to be, she found herself standing up quickly, hands shaking. The pace of her heels was faster than ever as she clicked her way down the hallway and knocked purposefully on Bert's door, suddenly feeling sick.

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bartok
2009-07-22 09:25 pm UTC (link)

Bert stared at the letter in his hands from the director, his hands shaking slightly as he tried to contain his anger. Everyone knew. And Bert didn't want everyone to know. It would change people, and he knew it. Bert didn't like change like this.

When he heard the knock on the door, Bert sighed and crumpled up the letter, throwing it in the trash can across the room and missing. One of the many missed shots of this year, he was absolutely sure. He was determined that there were going to be more shots within the next year, at least.

"Come in," he said, trying to sound at least a little cheerful, trying to brush those stupid, angry thoughts away.

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brideofwind
2009-07-22 09:30 pm UTC (link)

Alma opened the door, determined to start with a furious what the hell, Bert? because how could not tell her? Her, of all people, how could he keep a secret like this from her. Alma knew perfectly well how vain the thought was, but vanity was more than part of her nature, and she'd thought -- it didn't matter. Alma's jaw was set and her movements were jerky with anger as she pushed her way into the office, mouth already part way open to give him a piece of her mind.

But then she saw him, how much weight he'd lost, how upset he looked, and all the anger, while it didn't rush right out of her, boiled back down momentarily, leaving Alma floundering without anything to say. "I'm glad you're back," she decided on, forcing her tone even, almost cold. "I've been covering your Rock Music class." With great distaste, but that was all but forgotten now.

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bartok
2009-07-22 09:34 pm UTC (link)

When Bert looked up to see that Alma was there, speaking to him in that cold voice of hers. It sounded a little different than normal, and that bothered Bert just slightly because he didn't want things to change, and look at that, they already were, right in front of his very eyes.

No.

No. Bert refused to let this happen. So he put on his normal, cheerful, arrogant smile and cried out, "ALMIEEEEEE!!!" Bert rushed over to her and wrapped his arms around her, hoping she didn't notice his weight loss because. Well.

"Wait, you've been covering Jazzanrock?" he asked incredulously. "That must have been a horrible couple of weeks for the kids," Bert teased.

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brideofwind
2009-07-22 09:42 pm UTC (link)

"Yes well," Alma said, detangling herself with a mild amount of class from Bert's hug. Her heart felt heavy all of a sudden and her eyes were stinging without reason at all. "Think how I felt," she sniffed. "Hardly consider any of it music."

She snuffled suddenly, and panicked. She wasn't -- no, she certainly wasn't...was she crying? Oh god. "Well now that I see your back I'll just get out of your hair." Alma couldn't even bring herself to say her usual And I expect you to stay out of mine. She just fled for the door again, terrified.

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bartok
2009-07-22 09:51 pm UTC (link)

Bert raised his eyebrow, watching her flee to the door. That was kind of weird.

"Almie, what are you talking about? Stay here, I have so much stuff to unpack and stuff and look at how CREEPY my office looks without all the stuff in it!" he babbled on. "Get back here, who else is going to help me stylize my room?" Christ in a cardigan, what was wrong with her? Bert knew that she, like, knew. But why did she care?

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brideofwind
2009-07-22 09:55 pm UTC (link)

She made some stupid flailing gesture that was meant to indicate lighthearted uncaring, but really just seemed jerky and stiff as she struggled to get a hold of herself. The tears in Alma's eyes were welling up and she pressed her lips together tightly and blinked to get rid of them. "I'm sorry, I'm far too busy being a real professor to help you stylize anything and Bert what the hell is wrong with you?" Alma spun around from reaching for the door at the end of that sentence, as unexpected to her as it was to him.

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bartok
2009-07-22 09:58 pm UTC (link)

Bert stared at her, absolutely bewildered, but when he saw the tears in her eyes. Well. He couldn't even look at her. He looked at the floor, almost like a kid waiting to be punished. In fact, that's exactly what Bert was right now. He felt like such a bad kid with this illness. He wanted to be able to take care of himself, but he was trapped in this ridiculous situation.

He looked back up at her, trying to lighten the mood. "What do you mean? It's only stylizing, Alma, no big deal. I thought you liked that sort of thing -- I mean, you are a woman."

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brideofwind
2009-07-22 10:06 pm UTC (link)

Alma did the first thing that sprang to mind. She hit him, stepping forward to smack his arm hard with one hand. "Now is not the time for you to be making those stupid, sexist, stupid jokes," Alma hissed at him, then clapped a hand over her mouth, startled to hear how furious she sounded. But her shock didn't last long. "Answer me, I asked what the hell is wrong with you, why didn't you tell me?"

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	bartok 2009-07-22 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	"Owww!" he complained in a slightly high-pitched voice. Not that he would ever admit it later. "What the fuck, Almie? Stop hitting me. Christ on a cracker, I hate it when you do that." Bert sighed in frustration. "Tell you what? God." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brideofwind 2009-07-22 11:08 pm UTC (link)
	She hit him again. "Stop it, Bert, you stop that right now." Quickly Alma dabbed at her eyes before tears could fall and smear her mascara. "Stop it. And don't call me Almie." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bartok 2009-07-22 11:11 pm UTC (link)
	"Ahhh! Woman, what the hell!" he yelled in annoyance. Rubbing his arm, Bert scowled. "I'll call you whatever I--- wait. Wait. Alma." His eyes widened. Oh shit. "Alma, are you crying?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brideofwind 2009-07-22 11:18 pm UTC (link)
	Alma gave a soft little gasp and glared, hating that he caught her. It was only a moment, though, before she crumbled and smacked him again, weaker than before as she wiped at her eyes again. "Answer my question, why didn't you tell me?" Of all people, why not her? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bartok 2009-07-22 11:20 pm UTC (link)
	"Ow! Stop! Why would I tell you? So you could feel bad for me and remind me that I should be behaving myself or else I'm just offing myself?" he protested, crossing his arms with a not-so-happy expression. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brideofwind 2009-07-22 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	"Because this is something I would want to know!" Alma said, shaking all over again and hating herself for it. "You didn't even say anything." She had to press a hand to her lips and take a breath to keep from bawling again. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

bartok
2009-07-22 11:29 pm UTC (link)

"Would it make you think differently of me? Don't lie, Alma. Because I know that it would make you feel differently, and that's not what I want. I don't want to be labeled a disease. I may have a disease, Alma, but I am not a disease," he told her determinedly. This was a really sensitive subject for Bert, and he didn't ever like to talk about it. This was going to change everything, and he knew it.

Bert wanted so badly to just hold her, calm her down until she was feeling better, but for fuck's sake, he felt horrible.

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brideofwind
2009-07-23 12:20 am UTC (link)

"I didn't say that," she snapped, wrapping her arms around herself. Alma took a deep breath to calm herself. She didn't mean to be so angry -- but it was a shock, and a betrayal to find out Bert had been keeping this from her. "I did not say that. I just had no idea you could be so...selfish." It was the worst word she could think of in the situation. Alma hastened to wipe her tears again, determined not to acknowledge them otherwise, and then explained. "Don't you think this effects me? What am I supposed to do?" It was vanity again, but Alma couldn't help it. She didn't know what she'd do without him, and it frightened her.

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	bartok 2009-07-23 03:16 am UTC (link)
	Bert pursed his lips. "I. I don't really know what-- what you want me to say, Alma," he said quietly, carefully. "I didn't want you to find out because I cared about everyone. I don't want them to feel like they owe anything to me. You, included." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

brideofwind
2009-07-23 03:37 am UTC (link)

"I want you to say --" This wasn't like fighting with Gus, not at all. For one, she wasn't just saying things to hurt him, and for another, she actually cared about the ending. It made Alma stop and snuffle as she tried to quell a sob, arms wrapping tighter around herself. She took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of herself again. "I want to have been important enough that you wanted me to know, because it matters to me, Bert." With the tears not stopping, Alma mopped at her eyes. "I have class in an hour, we cannot be having this conversation now."

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	bartok 2009-07-23 03:48 am UTC (link)
	"I didn't even want my family to know, Alma. I didn't want anyone to treat me special. I don't want that. I just want to be Bert, and that's all. Can't you understand that?" He sighed, ignoring her excuses, and cautiously walked towards her. "Alma, it has nothing to do with you being important to me. Of course you're important to me. Stop being silly." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brideofwind 2009-07-23 03:56 am UTC (link)
	She watched him come a little closer warily. "You're important to me, Bert," Alma said, tone cold again. "I would have wanted to know. From you, not the director. When were you going to tell me, then? At all?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

bartok
2009-07-23 04:05 am UTC (link)

"Oh, Alma," Bert sighed, reaching forward and wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace, rather suddenly. She looked like she needed it, and he most certainly needed it at the moment. "Of course I was going to tell you," he insisted. "When it was a good time. But not now. Not at the beginning of the year. I can't believe he said it."

It wasn't that Bert was never going to tell her, honestly. He just kept putting it off. Cutting his hair off last year, collapsing in his office at the end of the year, all of those missed staff meetings... he blamed it all on minuscule things that were just so Bert.

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	brideofwind 2009-07-23 04:09 am UTC (link)
	The hug was all it took, Alma really did begin to cry, feeling stupid and small for having such a fit. It just scared her, the thought of not having Bert around. She cried quietly, pressing her face into his neck and curling his fingers into his shirt. "What the hell, Bert?" Alma repeated, this time without any edge at all. "You can't do this to me." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bartok 2009-07-23 04:17 am UTC (link)
	He rolled his eyes, murmuring, "Yeah, like I really have a choice either way." Nevertheless, Bert tightened his grip, putting his face into her hair and inhaling in this private little moment. "It'll be okay," Bert assured her. "Things will get better soon." Never mind his skinny frame and pallid skin. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brideofwind 2009-07-23 04:24 am UTC (link)
	"Okay," Alma agreed, even if she knew it wasn't exactly true. She took a deep breath and pulled away, promising to contain herself from now on. "Okay. I'm sorry, this was just -- well." She couldn't very well admit to being so terrified of losing him. That just wouldn't do. "What can I do? What do you need?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bartok 2009-07-23 04:30 am UTC (link)
	"I need you to forget. I don't want you to pretend that you don't know -- I need you to forget. I don't want you to treat me any differently." Bert talked to her seriously, evenly. Because he was. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brideofwind 2009-07-23 04:45 am UTC (link)
	Alma hesitated only briefly, could she do that?, but then took a breath and reminded herself that this wasn't about her. "Okay," she said nodding, tears coming to her eyes again. "Okay. Forgotten. What else?" If she could, Alma would do everything for him right now. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bartok 2009-07-23 04:48 am UTC (link)
	He raised an eyebrow, looking her over quickly. "Skip your next class and come get milkshakes with me. For serious, Alma, I'm dying. This may be my last milkshake and I want it with you." Bert grinned. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brideofwind 2009-07-23 05:12 am UTC (link)
	She smacked his arm again. "That is not funny, Bert that is not funny. It's not going to be your last milkshake unless I personally throttle you halfway there." Alma paused, watching him carefully for a moment. "I'll need to get my jacket." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

bartok
2009-09-13 04:36 pm UTC (link)

He grinned. "Well, then, hurry up and get your jacket! Time's a-ticking, Almie, and I want to live long enough to try boysenberry milkshakes!" Trying to get back to his arrogant self, Bert put his arm around her slyly, leading her out of his office and grabbing his own jacket from the coat hanger on the way out.

Once they were out, he asked, "So Almie, what have I missed these past couple weeks? I mean, I've been gone forever. There has to be TONS of gossip that I haven't been hearing. SPILL."

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brideofwind
2009-09-13 11:39 pm UTC (link)

Alma made a slick face of disgust at the thought of boysenberry milkshakes as she pulled on her suit jacket and picked her purse up from her desk, but kept her thoughts to herself. It wasn't a habit she was planning on keeping, but for now she felt like Bert deserved a bit of a grace period, only because she'd hit him twice.

"I don't gossip, Bert," she reminded him airily, sniffing snobbishly as they exited the building. "And anyway, without you around, everyone has manage to get along fantastically." Alma gave him a quick, almost teasing, pointed look.

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bartok
2009-09-14 12:06 am UTC (link)

"Of course you gossip, Almie. You gossip with me all the time, remember?" he asked, nudging her in the arm just to annoy her. Bert always found the best ways to annoy her, whether it was touching her whenever he wanted to, leaving little post-it notes on her door, or dragging her all over the place on a mission for something minuscule.

"I bet no one got along," he said, frowning. "I mean, they must have all been incredibly bored without me. Where would they be without my Jazznrock scavenger hunts through their offices?"

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