Basically I am not happy with the way my life has been going recently. The only thing I'm happy about is good grades, but I would trade those any day to get all my problems fixed.

1. I NEED to lose weight. Actually, I'm not even concerned with the number on the scale, I just want to be toned and shit. I get massive headaches after working out so It's really hard to get any homework done after I go to the gym because my head hurts so bad. I know it's not a good excuse, but it really sucks. I wish I didnt have to go through it just to get in shape. Even my mom said I need to lose weight.

2. I NEED a job. Ive applied at a bunch of places for over winter break(I get dec.13th-jan.20th) off. I have like no money to buy anything, and my mom is the cheapest person EVER. My parents buy this huge house and a lexus and everything then my mom tells me to shop at goodwill. Are you fucking serious? I only work a couple hours on Sunday at a church nursery next to my dorm.

3. Alex(my boyfriend) and I are getting annoyed with each other more. I still love him..but around that year mark I always feel annoyed with guys...i cant help it..it suckkkssss!

4. I was going to get an apartment with my friend Lindsay of three years..and two other girls she just met on campus this year..and has becomes like best friends with one of them, Jen. The other girl is jen's roommate. I have been sooo excited about getting this apartment next year, and I even made a budget and lindsay and I have been talking about it for a while now. Ive hung out with her new friend Jen a couple of times and Jens roomate Laura when we all went out to eat. They seem like really down to earth nice girls. Then, a couple of nights ago a got a call from Lindsay saying we need to talk. She basically told me that I couldnt get an apartment with her, jen, and laura, because they didnt think they could live with me. First of all I have hung out with laura once and jen like twice..i have been nothing but nice to them..i dont like drama at all..Im just a chill person...i thought they were awesome and i couldnt wait to get an apartment with them. For them to judge me like that hurt really bad when they barely knew me how were they going to say that they couldnt live with me bc they thought our personalities would clash? what the fuck does that mean? I was sooooo upset. On top of that Lindsay is fucking me over to be with girls she just met over her friend of three years. She doesnt give a fuck at all. I just cant believe it. No one can really understand what Im saying and how bad it hurt unless i was a really good writer or in my shoes. I just had to vent about it, once again. I left out some things that hurt really bad..but i cant remember I just remember how shitty I felt.I dont want to live in a dorm next year thats why I have been excited about this apartment..

my boyfriend & I