"My dad loves you already Tate, he was devastated when he uh... you know, found you weren't gonna be his daughter-in-law," he laughed weakly. "He's gonna be mad at me though," Sam said shaking his head. "It was stupid what I done. The wolfsbane... it's like drinkin' fire, everything hurts, it's worse an' there's this fightin' inside itme all the time. Like, the wolf wanted out even if only for the moon," he had never been able to tell someone and be honest about just how awful it was to drink that potion. "But when I just let it happen, there's no conflict, half the pain, half the recovery time..." he trailed off. "But I hurt you."

"You're stronger'n you give yourself credit for," he said gently. "A lotta bad stuff has happened to you in your life and you're still here. And you did do somethin'. You made me remember who I was when the wolf was attackin. There's no other reason why he would have stopped," it was weird talking about the wolf. He knew it was a part of him but he also hadn't been able to connect with or control that part. Tatum had done something to pull Sam out of the blackness just enough to save her.

"It sure as hell aint gonna be easy Tate but life aint easy. It's worth it though, once you get past all the shit and the fuckin nonsense, it's worth it. And there's a whole mess 'a people who aint ready to see you go. I know it felt easier, I been there Tate. Just closing your eyes and letting whatever happen happen," he sighed. "And here we are, both still breathin and that's how it should be."

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She did her best to hide the upset on her face as Sam described what taking the wolfsbane was like, it certainly didn't sound like something she would be looking forward to, but it was obviously for the best. Without it, things could get out of hand.. but she couldn't hold Sam responsible for wanting an easier way out. What had she just been saying? It was easier to just give into things. If the tables were turned, if she had been the wolf first, she couldn't imagine herself not trying not taking the potion at least once.

Unfortunately, accidents happened, even just once in a while. "I-I ain't strong, not.. not l-like you're strong. And I m-mean that, you're s-strong.. but I k-kicked your ass, m-made you run off," she half-joked. She could vaguely remember Michi telling her something like that last night. She wasn't sure what she had done to bring Sam around, but he was right, she must have done something even if it wasn't physical. She had gotten through to him, struck something in him somewhere, enough to let him back off.

"L-Life isn't ever easy," she murmured weakly, head still heavy on the pillow as she reached up, weakly taking hold of the front of Sam's shirt. "I w-wanna stay now, I.. I-I'm just gonna have t-to deal with e-everything and.. t-things might have to change, b-but. I'm h-here, and.. M-Mack would be k-kinda sad if I died, I think," the redhead added, squinting her eyes shut for a quick second.

"I was.. I w-was kind of excited to see F-Frankie though.. e-even if everybody else t-thought she was a bitch, I.. I l-liked her a lot," she murmured, trailing off again and just staring over at the white hospital wall. Dying would have been rough, but she did sort of owe Frankie an apology. She would be lying if she didn't say she didn't often have pangs of guilt about being so open and happy with Mack, when she and Frankie had been such a mess, due at least in part to her own inability to accept herself. Now that she was accepting herself fully for who she was, she couldn't help but feel bad for how she had hurt the younger girl during their friendship. Their catastrophic kiss just shortly before the other girl died was never a memory that was far from her mind, nagging her about how it had all been her fault in the end.

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He grinned. "I bet you did, handed my ass right to me on a platter," he said with a crooked smile.

"Good," he said, suddenly relieved. He rubbed her back gently. "Good. She would be sad and I would be sad, a whole of people would be sad. I gotta tell ya though. I got this feeling that Mack is gonna kick my ass next time she sees me," he tried to smile again and only really made a half attempt.

"I understand," he said lightly. "If I could have the chance to talk to Felix just one more time... I would take it too. I would want to tell him I'm sorry for failing him, for not saving him but..." he sniffled lightly. "There comes a point when you have to acknowledge that there was nothing else we could have done though."

"I'm really glad you made it Tate."

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It was still very early and she was very tired, and the redhead almost let herself doze off a little before Sam mentioned Mack, making her tense up all over. Would she be furious? Probably. Especially if she knew exactly who to blame. Tatum's stomach sank a little, and she lifted her head to look seriously at her best friend. "I w-won't let her, she can't-- she c-can't get mad at you, and t-then make excuses for m-me next month. W-We're the s-same now, you and m-me and if she has a p-problem with you, then she has a problem with me."

Trailing off a little, Tatum listened to his words with only the faintest pout. She could have done something though, something she should have done ages ago. It wouldn't bring Frankie back, but if she weren't such a coward, she'd be gone and no one would be in this mess. "I c-could have.. I a-always said I c-couldn't live without her, and I just.. I s-should have done it too, I s-said I would, that I'd f-follow her anywhere but I didn't," the redhead explained sadly, letting out a shaky exhale.

"I d-don't know if it was a dream, or the d-drugs, or my head but.. she w-was here, in the r-room. Before you c-came," she added, feeling a bit foolish for talking about the close encounter with her dead friend she had just woken up from. But details and things said from the dream, or whatever it had been, kept floating to the surface of her mind now. "S-She doesn't think M-Mack takes very good care of me, and I.. I w-wanted to know w-why she just left me, but she didn't.. it was m-my fault for not k-killing myself too. T-That's what a pact is, right?"

This was the most she had talked about Frankie to anyone in ages, Rath and Julian included. Her brother knew a lot about what she went through with Frankie, how she felt about the younger girl, how her death had effected her. But even Rath didn't know about their agreement, how fast she had agreed that if anything ever happened to Frankie, she had promised to off herself right after. Together forever or all of that rubbish. She felt suddenly uncomfortable, admitting it all, and she curled her face into Sam's chest more. "G-Good thing I'm a p-pussy or I guess I-I woulda been dead long ago anyway," she sighed. "I j-just miss her, is that c-crazy? She's not even.. she was n-never even very nice but I m-miss her so much."

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Sam felt comforted in knowing that Tatum had his back, he knew she always did but there was something different about it now. Pack mentality, he supposed. If we go down, we go down together. He felt responsible for her but to the same degree he felt like he had someone to watch out for him all the time now. It was easier being a wolf when you didn't have to do it alone. "She deserves a good punch, I can let her take it," he said, almost smiling. "But thanks Tate, it means a lot to hear you say that."

He listened carefully as she spoke, feeling his chest tighten. "You aint weak for livin', yer brave for trying. Don't you be thinkin' yer a coward for not... followin' her. It's a damn selfish thing to do."

Sam was sure she wouldn't actually listen to him, not now anyways that she was practically falling asleep but he needed to say it. "She left everyone behind and you aint to blame for that. It was a selfish thing to do and it weren't you're fault, hear me? A pact shouldn't be about leavin' the world, it should be about facin' it."

"It's okay to miss her, I miss the crazy bitch too but I aint about to fling myself off a building," he didn't mean it to come out the way he did, his arms tightened around her instinctively. "I don't know what the hell I'd do without ya," he whispered.

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