Mackenzie watched with a grief stricken expression as Tatum came unraveled in front of her. This hadn't been what she was expecting to hear at all. Sure, she knew that Tatum was pretty much living in the closet at this point, but she never knew how the girl actually felt about it. She saw so much pain in the younger girl's eyes, saw a girl who just wanted to be who she wanted but couldn't. The blonde could feel the tears pricking at her eyes again, but this time she made no attempt to wipe them away.

She almost missed what Tatum said when she turned around, and her eyes grew big when she did catch what the younger girl barely whispered. It was at this point that the blonde girl realized that Tatum had been right all along, she really didn't know the girl at all. She wanted to wrap her arms around the girl and tell her that everything would be alright. They wouldn't be though, not right away anyway. She didn't hesitate in stepping forward however and wrapping her arms around the smaller girl's waist.

The taller girl had to bend over a bit as she rested her chin on Tatum's shoulder. She pulled the smaller girl, blanket and all, close to her and closed her eyes. Tatum's scent invaded her senses, and for a moment she was silent. "Fuck 'em," she said finally, squeezing Tatum lightly. "Fuck all of them T, because you shouldn't live for anyone but yourself."

It was crossing a line, she knew that, especially after the events of the apple orchard, but she nuzzled into the crook of Tatum's neck anyway. It was purely for comfort and that scared the taller blonde slightly. She genuinely wasn't trying to do anything but make the girl feel less alone.

"I'm so sorry Tatum," She whispered into the girl's neck. "It's not your fault, okay? You don't deserve to feel this way, you don't deserve to be scared of who you are or what you want. You shouldn't feel guilty for feeling the way you do, because there's nothing wrong with who you want to be. If your dad can't be proud of who you are, then he doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you. I know it's hard, but you can do it, you can be who you want T. I know you can."

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It was a surprisingly easy fight to win to keep herself still and calm as Mackenzie's arms wrapped around her. She hated to admit it, but she felt like shit and being held was one of the only sure fire cures she knew of. Even if it was with Mack, even if it was making her heart pound desperately in her chest. She didn't fight it, just staying wrapped in her blanket and the blonde's arms, staring straight ahead and sniffling as she spoke to her.

"Don't you t-think I'd say that if it was that e-easy?" she whispered hoarsely, resisting the urge to lean her head against Mack's as the blonde's chin sat on the crook of her neck. "I could just.. just go say fuck it tomorrow. I d-don't want to, that's the point, I can't.. i-it's my daddy, you know? I can't just f-fuck up."

She sniffled again, quite shakily. She felt she might break down, but she wanted to hold it together. The situation was awkward enough, the details and fears and desires she was just blurting out as if someone had dosed her with veritaserum. She didn't need to start wailing like a banshee on top of that. "I w-wanna live for me but that's not.. like, I don't know if y-you get it. Do you e-even like your parents? I can't just-- t-they raised me, even.. even if t-they suck."

Turning her head in just a bit, so her cheek was pressed against Mack's, she sighed heavily. "I'm n-never gunna be good enough and o-on top of that, I'm a g-great big f-fucking fag," she blurted quietly, biting down harshly on her lip. There it was, then. Mack was now free to run off and tell everyone, even Sera, especially Sera. She waited anxiously, expecting for the blonde to pull away from her with an obnoxious laugh or something. Maybe Sera even sent her here, maybe it was all a game to get her to just admit it, after all their months of torture. Maybe Hunter was in the bushes with a camera.

"I g-gotta go," the redhead quickly added before Mack could actually reply, squirming a bit in the blonde's embrace.

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Mackenzie had been about to protest against what Tatum was saying once again when she felt the girl turn her head. Suddenly she felt the warmth of the redhead's cheek against her own. Nothing had ever felt so right to the blonde girl, it felt like she was finally home. The redhead's words once again jarred Mackenzie from the feeling of comfort however. She was surprised, not because Tatum had told her she was gay, but because the girl had actually admitted it out loud.

Giving the girl a small squeeze to reassure her, she turned her head slightly to brush a small kiss on the girl's cheek. It was probably the simplest gesture of her feelings that the blonde had ever made. There was no lies or deception behind it, no grand scheme or plan. It was just simply a kiss, a little expression of her care for the younger girl. "Your secret is safe with me," She said quietly, nuzzling the younger girl again.

When the girl started squirming in her arms, she released her without any protest. She figured that she owed Tatum her space after what had just happened between them. She turned the girl to face her first however, she wanted to try to give the girl something in return for her opening up to the blonde. It was only fair that Mackenzie make herself vulnerable too. It terrified the older girl that she was even thinking that way, but it was too late to close herself back up now.

"I do like my parents," she blurted out awkwardly, trying to be brave and not break her eye contact. "I...I just wish they'd like me more. They hate me I'm pretty sure, so, I guess that answer's your question." It really had no context, but the blonde felt better after letting it out. She continued to hold Tatum by the shoulders so the younger girl wouldn't get away. "I only pretend to hate them because it's easier than feeling like they don't care. I...I know how it feels to not be good enough, it's not easy. My mom isn't exactly happy that I'm gay either, just so you know. If it helps."

She stood there awkwardly, letting out a nervous laugh. She dropped her arms from the younger girl's shoulders and ran her hands through her hair. She knew what she wanted to ask, and she knew that the girl would probably say no. She figured she might as well ask anyway, because what did she really have to lose at this point? It was like being at rock bottom with the girl all the time anyway.

"I...don't usually ask things like this," she mumbled, looking towards the ground. "I figure you won't want to, but uh...maybe...would you go to homecoming with me?"

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Tatum half way couldn't believe it as she felt the blonde's lips on her cheek, couldn't believe that she was letting it happen, fighting off her panic. Anyone from the university who decided to sneak out for a smoke, as they had, was apt to stumble upon the scene. Tatum wrapped in her blanket, Mackenzie wrapped around the outside of that. She was truly in shock, slightly skeptical shock, when Mack promised to keep her secret. How long would that last? Sera was persistent. Hunter was worse.

"F-Forget I said anything, no secret to keep!" she insisted loudly none the less, breaking free as soon as Mack's arms let her go. She tried to take a few paces away, needing the distance between them before she did something stupid like fall back into her arms again. But then the older girl was turning her back, and she went easily. She was glad to at least have her hair in her face now to hide behind a bit, peering out and meeting Mack's eyes from under it as the blonde spoke.

She was surprised by Mack's admission, even more moreso by the immediate kinship it made her feel for the tall girl. They had a lot more in common than Tatum had wanted to admit, always sort of had, but she had still always just been that show-off jock asshole. Talking about their parents though, both baring fragile parts of themselves that they rarely spoke about, almost made the redhead reconsider. "P-Parents suck sometimes I-I guess.. Not a lot of t-them are s-supportive. T-They're just as selfish as kids," she muttered weakly. "I see all t-these gay people on tv and it a-all works out and everybody l-loves them and that's great but t-that's not my life."

Trailing off for a moment, she tried to look at Mack's forehead instead of making actual eye contact. It made the anxiety lift slightly. "If it was a movie, I-I'd get Diora Baird to p-play me. I wouldn't be s-some gawky f-fucking loser," she muttered. She was a bit relieved when she was let go, but she quickly felt her stomach sinking as Mack went on. The look on her face, the awkward tone, the way she looked down, Tatum had seen it before. Boys looked the same way before they asked you out. When Mack did, the redhead's stomach clenched painfully and her lips twitched into a little frown.

The word 'yes' was already trying to roll off her tongue, when had any boy ever exposed his emotions to her like this stupid girl kept doing, but she fought it. There was just no way. Her parents would expect photographs, people would talk, word would get around. There was really no point in all of her years of denial and hiding if she showed up at the first dance of the year on Mack's arm instead of Sam's. The same Sam who was so safe, didn't pressure her, didn't try to pry every little secret out of her. That was what she needed.

"N-No, sorry," she replied, a bit more curtly than she had meant to, just looking down at her sneakers. It was so much easier than looking at Mack. It was sort of breaking her heart to do this, but it wasn't the first time she had broken her own heart for the sake of her family. "I-I'm like, g-good actually? I might.. I m-might not even go. If I don't.. h-have a boyfriend. Before t-then."

She supposed Mack knew all about Colin, most everyone else did now. Sera had seen to that. Tatum had given up the Colin charade ages ago now, but Sam was easily filling the void. Plus he was nicer and more handsome than Colin, even if the handsomeness was sort of wasted on her.

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Mackenzie scoffed and rolled her eyes, "You're way hotter than Diora Baird." She blushed slightly as the words left her mouth, she hadn't meant to be that forward. "I think you're beautiful," she offered quietly as an after thought. It was the honest truth, as sappy as it was. Mack knew that Hunter would make fun of her for saying so, but she couldn't help it. She would tell the younger girl ever time that she was, no matter how much the other girl protested against it.

She waited with baited breath in the small silence that fell between them. The blonde really didn't want to get her hopes up, she had trained herself over the year to expect nothing. She hoped that maybe Tatum would surprise her, she had already shocked the blonde by coming out to her. Even if she had denied it a second later when she had promised not to tell anyone. It still made the taller girl slightly hopeful, perhaps Tatum might say yes. The redhead looked as if she really wanted to, but perhaps it was in Mackenzie's imagination.

When Tatum said no, Mackenzie tried to ignore the way her heart dropped into her stomach. She didn't know why she thought that the redhead would even consider saying yes. It hurt a lot more than she had imagined it would, and tried to keep the hurt from showing.

"Oh, that's cool," she said quietly. The blonde bit her lip, trying to think of something to say to cover up how she felt. "It's pretty lame anyway, I didn't really wanna go. Probably just going to go find some party to crash. Homecoming is for losers like Hunter and Michi who are all married and shit." She frowned, a small scowl on her face. She really hoped her tall friend would leave well enough alone and not pressure her to go.

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"Nobody is hotter than Diora Baird," Tatum muttered back sullenly. When Mack called her beautiful, she quickly adverted her eyes and coughing gently, tried to hope that her cheeks weren't as pink as they felt. This was ridiculous, why was she standing here still? Why had she said that to her? Of all the people she could have just blurted the truth to, it had to be Mack.

She had started this whole mess, when she should have just walked away. Now she was standing around realizing that Mackenzie Dubinsky really did seem to think she was gorgeous, and she still couldn't understand why. Or deny the way it made her palms sweat and her heart race a bit.

Trying to ignore the quick flash of disappoint on the older girl's face, Tatum bit her own lip as well, eyes focusing on the ground as they always did in moments of awkwardness. This had gone from awkward to worse in no time. "Yeah, lame as fuck," the younger girl agreed weakly. "I wouldn't.. like, i-if my mom didn't expect me to, I wouldn't g-go. I hate that s-shit, it's like.. all those people, I feel like my h-head is going to explode. Everybody s-staring and squished in that little like, room. I just uhm.. y'know, to keep mom happy. And d-dad, too."

She trailed off a bit as Mack mentioned Hunter, shrugging her shoulders. "Stupid l-losers, yeah."

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Mackenzie scoffed at Tatum's excuses for why she had to attend homecoming. She was sure at another time in her life that her own mother would be trying to pressure her into doing the same thing, not that Mack had ever followed what her mother said. She was pretty sure that ever year she had gone with a different girl and sent back pictures just to get a rise out of Kate. Then there had been the year that she had gone with Hunter to really piss her mother off. That had been the end of Kate even feigning interest in if Mackenzie went to a school social function or not.

"As long as good 'ol mom and dad are happy, right?" She said a little more bitterly than she had intended. She frowned as though she had just eaten something particularly sour. What had been a bad mood at the start of the day had turned into an extremely bad mood now that she had gotten rejected. "Well I guess have a blast with Sam the man then, make sure to take lots of great pictures and stuff."

She turned to leave, debating whether she wanted to go to Hunter's room or just her own. While she wanted to go to Hunter and analyze what had just happened, she had promised not to tell anyone about Tatum coming out to her. It was a promise that she intended to keep, even if she was feeling a bit sore towards the redhead. It wasn't her place to go around outing the school's biggest closet case. She decided to just go mope in her own dorm room, probably break into some of her secret booze stash and smoke a few packs of cigarettes while she contemplated her next move.

Looking back over her shoulder, she gave the shorter girl a sad smile. "Feel better T," she said quietly, before starting to walk towards University house.

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"Right," Tatum agreed, rather bitterly herself. She chewed absently on her lower lip, still ever avoiding the eye contact. It made her feel like she could pretend she was somewhere else easier. It wouldn't last forever. Eventually Mack would get tired of her shit and move on, and that was probably the best thing for both of them. Even if it stung her to think of it. She would miss the way the blonde got at her for sure, even if she got mad at the other girl every time. It was just their way, but she knew the older girl could only take so much. She was just human, despite how she tried to act like an invincible hero.

"I will.. t-they'll expect loads, don't worry. It's the s-same every time. Worse now that they k-know I have a new boyfriend.. s-sort of. M-Maybe boyfriend, I d-don't know- I think he likes me, I h-hope," she murmured back, frowning and pulling her blanket tighter around her body as Mack turned away from her. "You d-don't have to be mad, it's.. just a dumb dance," she added.

When Mack glanced back, their eyes meeting for a moment as the blonde gave her a sad smile, Tatum felt herself go from defensive to sympathetic in a moment. "Yeah," she sighed back, "I-I'll try."

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"Yeah, just a dumb dance," she muttered, mostly to herself. It was just a stupid dance, Mack had even thought so before. This really wasn't about the dance though, this was about Tatum. Mackenzie was pretty sure that she didn't care if they went to the dance or not. She just wanted to mean something to the redhead. She didn't just want to be that annoying second year girl who always flirted with her.

Turning away from the redhead again, Mackenzie retreated towards the university house as fast as she could manage without looking like she was running away. She knew that she should probably give up. Tatum would never change, and Mackenzie didn't want to be the one waiting around for the younger girl to finally make up her mind. Some people never let themselves become who they wanted to be, they just lived their lives suppressing their feelings. What if that was what Tatum was going to do? Mackenzie wasn't used to the feeling of not getting what she wanted. She wasn't used to the heartache and disappointment. She hated it, she wanted it to be over.

Shuffling up the stairs to her room, she let herself in and immediately flopped face down on her bed. She should get over Tatum, the redhead was right about that. Rolling over so she could stare at the ceiling, Mackenzie mulled over the idea of cutting the redhead from her life. If she was honest with herself, she wasn't exactly sure how she would do it. What was she supposed to do with herself if she did that?

Huffing, she shuffled around on the bed until she was comfortably against the wall. It was an absurd question, now that she repeated it in her mind again. Of course she could survive without Tatum, she was the Mack Daddy for god sake. She didn't need to be hung up on some little red head first year who wanted nothing to do with her. Why did she feel like her world might possibly come crashing down if Tatum wasn't in it? Once again Sera's voice started nagging in the back of her mind.

"I've seen you interested plenty of times before and you didn't do anything like this."

Groaning, Mackenzie buried her head in her hands. It was the only explanation for everything, the only way that it all fit together. She was in love with Tatum Donnelly, there was just no way around it.

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