crucio (crucio) wrote in cwf,
@ 2009-10-04 22:53:00

holden, miah, hunter, julian

School was underway, and Holden was actually doing fairly well. He found that his favorite class as his psychology class, and his interest in the subject was growing more rapidly. After he'd finished up his homework, he headed over to the mainhouse for dinner since his father was never around. Holden use to stay at home and eat there, make his own food, but he'd been coming out of his shell more and more and been open to being around the other packmates. A lot of it was because of Jeremiah, who for some reason had attached himself to Holden. Holden felt a connection with the boy, and he just wanted to be a positive influence for Miah. Someone that the kid could trust and learn from, maybe.

As he came into the house, he smiled as he saw Julian trying to help Hunter make dinner. He was standing on a little step stool, wearing an apron that looked like it belonged to Wendell. It had wooden spoons and pans and pots all over it. It looked more like a dress on Julie, Hunter had tied the apron around Julian's waist twice but put the bow in the back.

"I'd offer help but it looks like you have some," he told Hunter as he put his iPod and headphones down.

"I do have all the help that I need, yes." Hunter smiled over at him and then looked down at Julian in the little apron. Hunter never wore an apron when they were cooking because he didn't need one, but he knew that Julian liked the way it looked on Wendell and so he was sure to let the little boy have it. "Jeremiah is in the living room if you'd like to see him." He lifted Julian up so that he could stir what was in one of the pots.

Jeremiah was laying on the sofa under a little blankie, the kid was just completely out of it. He had been awake for a while but he'd fallen asleep on the sofa with his thumb in his mouth. He'd been sleeping a lot since he had gotten back, two naps a day instead of just one.

"We're making bah-ske-tee!" Julian announced, saying the word wrong, but with pride like he was sure that he was saying it right. When Hunter lifted him up to stir the sauce, he furrowed his brow in concentration and stuck his tongue out between his teeth as he stirred.

"Smells good," Holden told Julian with a smile before he grabbed his ipod and headphones to head into the living room. He spotted the tiny lump beneath the blanket and he went to go sit down on the couch. "Half-pint," he said softly, reaching out to gently touch Miah's back. "You asleep?"

Hunter didn't correct him because he was so certain of himself, and he just held him up while he stirred. "We are going to drop in some salt, but just a pinch because we don't want there to be too much." He said, getting the salt shaker so that they could shake in just a little.

Miah had his thumb in his mouth and when Holden touched him he pulled it free so he could turn his head over to face the sofa because he didn't want to be bothered. He was too tired and too out of it to really know that it was Holden, he just wanted to go back to sleep.

Julian nodded his head a little bit once he was finished stirring, and he kept a close eye on Hunter once he was set back down onto the stool.

"Are we gonna take some up to Daddy?" he asked, not at all shy about calling Wendell that or calling Hunter Papa. He leaned his cheek against the side of Hunter's thigh and hooked a tiny arm around the man's knee. "Is he better yet?"

That was all right with Holden, and he smiled a little bit as he lifted a hand to gently brush his fingers through Miah's soft dark hair. He turned his gaze to the TV and plucked up the remote to change it to the history channel, deciding to let Miah wakeup on his own.

"Yes, we are going to take some up to him. I'm not sure when he'll be feeling better but I am hoping that he will soon." He ran his fingers through Julian's hair and then leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "How are you feeling though?"

Miah slept for a little while longer with his head turned in the other direction but then he started shuffling his feet against the sofa and he squirmed a little before pressing his face down against his arms. He was still again for another few minutes and then he started whimpering a little and then crying.

Julian trusted that Hunter was right, that Wendell really would be better enough soon to come out of his room and spend time with him and Jeremiah like he use to. He tipped his head up to look at Hunter, keeping an arm hooked around Hunter's knee. "I'm okay," he said, offering a little shrug. "How are you?"

When Miah started to squirm around and make noises, then started to cry, Holden frowned and he moved to gently pick Miah up so that he could pull the boy into his lap.

"Shh, shh, it's okay half-pint," he said softly, "Wake up..."

"I'm sad." He told him, because he didn't like lying to Julian. Not even to sugar coat things. He might not have told him the whole truth, but he did like to be as honest as possible. "I just want Wendell to get better and I want everyone to be okay. I'm sad when people get hurt." Sad was such a basic emotion, it didn't begin to describe what Hunter was really feeling.

Miah didn't fight Holden, he just tipped forward against him and pressed his face against Holden's shoulder. He cried for a few minutes until he was fully awake and then he just put his thumb back in his mouth and quieted down.

"Me too," Julian said quietly before he held his arms up, wanting to be picked up. Once Hunter had him on his hip, he wrapped his arms around the bigger wolf's neck and looked down at the spaghetti sauce. He wanted Wendell to be better, Miah and Vance too. Even Cassidy. He didn't like when people were hurt, just like Hunter didn't, it made him sad. "I asked Daddy why he doesn't have a beard like yours, and it made him laugh. That was nice." That he'd made Wendell smile and laugh, even if it was just for a tiny bit. "He said he doesn't think he can grow one."

Julian wrapped his arms around Miah's tiny form, and reached for the blanket to cover him up. "Did you have a bad dream?" he asked softly, gently rubbing his hand up and down against Miah's back. For his age, Jeremiah had been through a lot, more than any four year old should.

Once Julian was on his hip, he pressed a kiss to the top of his head and he just held onto him. He kept stirring until it was done and then he turned off the burner. "I don't think he can grow one either." Hunter said with a soft smile. "But don't tell him I said that."

"Yeah." He murmured quietly. He kept his head against Holden's shoulder and he kept his eyes closed. "It was scary. I don't like it." He didn't even remember it now, but he still felt scared.

Julian let out a soft giggle and he lifted a hand up to gently tug at Hunter's beard before he let go. "I want one," he said, puffing his chest out. "I tried growing one by thinking really hard about it but it didn't work."

Holden pulled back so that he could see Jeremiah's face, and he gently wiped the boys cheeks with his thumbs before he leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Well you're safe, I promise, okay?" he said softly, smoothing the boy's hair down with care. "Guess what? I got you some shoes like mine. I'll bring them over tomorrow and we can make sure they fit."

"Well of course it didn't. You won't be able to grow one until you are older and it won't just happen over night. It takes a while. It took me a long time to grow mine" Not really, but he had had it for a long time.

Jeremiah just nodded and he stayed pressed up against Holden. He was so fucked up over everything that he just didn't talk as much as he used to, which had been all the time before. Right now all he wanted to do was be close to Holden.

Julian rested his cheek against Hunter's one of shoulders, and his fingers curled around the material of the man's shirt as he watched the noodles start to cook in a pot of water they'd boiled. "I wish I was bigger now," he said with a little sigh.

Holden rubbed his hand in little circles against Miah's back as he rested his cheek ontop of the boy's head. "You know you can talk to me, I'll keep your secrets, I promise," he said softly.

"No, don't say that." Hunter said softly. "Growing up is the fun part. It's good that you are little. When you are this size I can still carry you and sing to you at night and read you stories. And we can still hold hands when we cross the street and all of that good stuff. When you get older though you'll have to get a job and go to school and that is fun but it's all part of growing up you know? You don't awnna miss out on that."

"Don't wanna." He didn't want to talk about his dreams or what happened with his mom and her boyfriends or what happened while he was with the other wolves. They hadn't hurt him too badly, but they'd scared him, and starved him.

"When I'm bigger you can't still carry me or read my stories or hold my hand?" Julian asked, furrowing his brow a little bit as a pout ghosted across his lips. He didn't quite understand that when he got bigger, he'd want to be more independent.

"I know, you don't have to," Holden assured him, letting his fingers brush a lock of hair behind Miah's ear. "But if you ever want to, you can. Okay?"

"I probably could, but you won't really want me to. When you grow up you won't want or like the same things that you do now. It's all part of changing as you get older." he kissed his head again and gave him a little squeeze. "Trust me, you're going to grow up plenty fast."

Jeremiah just frowned and kept his head on Holden's shoulder. He hadn't been talking much or eating much since they got back. He didn't feel hungry all the time like he used to and he'd stopped trying to store food because he didn't see the point anymore.

Julian went quiet for a little bit, just watching as Hunter tended to the food on the stove as he held onto the man. After a moment he let out a heavy sigh and turned his face in towards Hunter's chest. "Miah's sad all the time now," he said softly, "He doesn't talk to me like he use to."

Holden had definitely noticed the change in Jeremiah's behavior, and he was sure he wasn't the only one. It worried him, but he wasn't sure what to do to help. He hoped Hunter and Wendell had some ideas. "I love you kiddo," he said softly, giving Miah's waist a little squeeze.

"Miah just needs some time to heal." Hunter said softly. "He's scared a lot, but when he comes to realize taht no one is going to hurt him here he'll be better." Hunter knew that Miah just kept waiting for the other foot to drop and he didn't want him to be scared like that all the time.

Miah stayed against Holden for a few minutes but he finally slid out of his lap and crawled to the other side of the couch to just lay down again. He didn't want to get too used to anyone feeding him or holding him becuase he knew it was just going to be lost again. It always was.

"What if he never feels better?" Julian asked, frowning as he stared down at the stove. "I wish they'd taken me instead." He felt guilty over the whole ordeal, that he hadn't been able to keep his brother safe.

Holden frowned a little bit and he reached over to cover the boy up with his little blanket. He smoothed down Miah's hair and then settled back to watch the TV, dozing off after a little while himself.

"He will." Hunter knew that if it went on for too long that he would just have to try and push things along himself, but right now he wanted to try to give Miah a chance to heal on his own.

Julian tightened his arms around Hunter's shoulders and pressed his face against the older wolf's shoulders with a frown. He use to always know how to cheer Jeremiah up, but now it seemed like nothing worked. Not even Joshua could cheer him up. "He has bad dreams all the time, he wakes up crying but he won't tell me what his dream was about. He use to tell me when he would have dreams about Mama hurting him but now he just is quiet."

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