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While Shino was asking for tea, Sakura's brain went on a tangent again. Things, details, new fact: they kept bunching up, flowing in and hitting her wave after wave. Neji and Naruto. Fighting. Fighting because they'd slept together. Ten months ago. And that was why they'd been so awkward. And why Neji kept seeming to avoid her whenever she had asked if he was okay.

If they had only told her. If. Maybe she wouldn't have been as angry, disappointed; maybe there wouldn't be a hole in her stomach and her heart wouldn't be in her throat, and maybe then she wouldn't have clung to the arms of the first neutral friend she had, and maybe she wouldn't have been about to consider blurting everything out, including a few litres of tears. (Except she wouldn't cry, she was not a crybaby anymore. She was a mature woman who could handle her two best friends having had sex while drunk and being in the middle of their whatever-it-was.)

She could've told Ino. Except Ino...Ino would have... She doesn't even know what Ino would've done, aside from hold her head and feed her pudding, and listen to her cry. And gods, she hated crying in front of Ino. Everything was such a mess. And having small crushes on both men involved did not help the matter at all -- she had no right to feel betrayed, and yet...

'Why can't I just find someone who I don't have an angsty past with, with whom sex wouldn't ruin everthing, and to whom the idea of loving me wouldn't seem impossible?' She sniffed pitifully, but caught herself when Shino returned.

He seemed...willing to listen. He actually seemed willing. Concerned. Friendly. Ino's words came back to her, and she pursed her lips. He was not creepy. And he was not interested. And even if he had been--if he had been interested, then the whole think of 'maybe he's a creeper with secret intentions' observation from her BFF did not do much to Sakura's ego. Course. Whoever was interested in her had to be a creeper. Obviously. And--

No, she needed to stop going on that tangent. Everything did not lead to her love life, and lack thereof. Even if a great deal of it was involved. The man in front of her was waiting for an answer, one she didn't have.

She sighed, and ran her hands nervously through her hair once, before leaning both elbows on the table and burying her face in her palms. "I don't know where to start. I don't even know if I want to disect it..."