Lucius sank to the floor beside Evan. "I've loved you since I was twenty-one," he said quietly. "I've loved you since I was in control of my life enough to love someone. Maybe... Maybe one day you'll be able to forgive me."
He gave Evan a desperate look. "I know I don't deserve it. I do. I just..." Lucius shook his head. "I don't want to lose you. I'm such an idiot. I knew I was an idiot when it happened. I felt so ashamed of myself as soon as it was over." And the only way to stop the shame was to do it again and reignite the excitement that came with the prospect of being caught, but that Lucius would keep to himself. The thought of losing Evan... He should have known better than to risk the life he had to fuck a teenager.
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