who: elijah & murphy
what: talking after hours
when: present-ish
Though Elijah had no concept of time, and hadn't for four years now, to him it felt late. Like maybe it was dark outside, and he should be sleeping. Everyone else was sleeping. He could hear the slow, steady breathing from Parker's cell on one side of him, and Shay's on the other. Reagan was upstairs with Adam. Elijah was staring up at the ceiling, though he couldn't see it at all, and it was times like these that he wondered what the place he was being held captive in looked like. What Parker looked like, and Murphy, Reagan, and especially Shay. He wondered what Adam looked like, though he was sort of glad that he had no idea.
Murphy, however, didn't sound asleep. Elijah couldn't pick out a third set of soft breaths, and he sat up to scoot the edge of his bed.
"Murphy," he called out, "Are you awake?"
The space was open, they had tiny private bathrooms in each little cell, but what seperated them all was fencing. It left the space open so that they could talk. Parker was on Elijah's right, and Shay on his left. To the left of Shay, was Murphy.
There were a lot of nights that Murphy sat up just trying to figure out what he was going to do if he ever got out of there. It was evolving into the same situation that Parker had found himself in, where he felt strangely guilty but unable to do anything but want to be around Adam. Though he knew that even with Parker, if he could have run he would have. There was a small part of Murphy that wasn't sure he would, even if he could. Not because he didn't long to get away. Long to find his mother and father and his boyfriend. But it had been three years and he knew that they probably thought that he was dead. If he came back he would turn all of their lives upside. But he knew that maybe they still thought he was alive because of Vegas. That the connection with his twin brother was still there and always would be so long as they were both breathing. When he heard Elijah's voice he didn't respond, he just shook the little over the counter inhaler and took a puff off of it before tucking his head down even more. Some nights he tried to get closer to the other boys, but there were nights when he felt like he didn't deserve to because they hated Adam, and he wasn't sure that he did anymore.
When Murphy didn't answer, but Elijah heard the puff of the inhaler, he went quiet and laid back down. He curled up into a little ball onto his side and closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. He was use to Parker and Murphy sometimes ignoring him, the only person who didn't ever ignore him was Shay. It bothered him when someone didn't want to talk to him, but he supposed he understood. Sometimes talking was hard, especially when subjects turned to families left behind. Elijah hadn't really had much of a family. He had no boyfriend, either. No friends, really. Not any that were as close as friends should be, and he was thankful. He had nothing to miss. A part of him even enjoyed Adam's company when the man was nice, but that thought made him sick and deep down he hated Adam.
"Murphy," Elijah called out after another moment of silence. "I know you don't wanna talk, but could you play me a song?"
The portable keyboard that he had always played in his apartment was sitting on the side of the little caged room he was in and he glanced over at it at Murphy's request. The last thing he really wanted to do was bother with playing for him, but he supposed it was the least he could do for the boy. Crawling off of his bed and onto the floor, he turned on his keyboard and then sat there for a second as he tried to decide what to play for him. While he decided he turned the volume down and then he just started playing something somber. He always played sad songs, he never played anything happy anymore because he didn't feel like he had a reason to be happy.
Elijah closed his eyes and wet his lips while he waited for Murphy to play something. The moment the music started, he felt better, even if it was sad. It filled the silence up, at least, and Murphy's playing was always beautiful even if it was melancholy. He stretched his legs out and burrowed himself beneath the covers before he started to hum quietly. He wondered if Murphy's twin brother played any music, and honestly he wondered lots of things about Vegas, but he never dared ask. He always let Murphy talk at his own pace.
Murphy wasn't very forthcoming with information about his family. In fact the only reason he'd never said anything at all about Vegas was because he'd been calling his name outloud in his sleep one night and the others had asked about it then ext afternoon. He wasn't very fond of talking about himself to the other boys, even though at first it had helped. Over the past few months he'd been trying to close himself off from them as much as he could manage. When the song came to an end he clicked off the keyboard and he crawled back into his bed, laying down because he knew he needed to try to rest.
"Thanks," Elijah said softly, and he sniffed a little bit as he lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes. He'd started to cry without even realizing it. All he wanted was to go home, to get away from this place and to be with Shay. But he couldn't imagine being away from Parker or Murphy, either. He'd grown really attached to all of them, and he couldn't help it.
Murphy turned onto his side and he pulled his pillow over his head to try and block Elijah out. The fact that he was crying only made the whole thing that much worse because he was trying so hard not to get any more attached to anyone than he already was. It was going to be impossible for him to live away from any of the people here, even Adam, and he knew that meant that if they ever got found he'd suffer. But if they didn't then everyone else would.
"Why are you crying?" he asked finally, unable to keep from asking because he had to know.
"I don't know," Elijah whispered quietly. He swallowed hard and rolled over onto his back as his legs stretched out some more, and he lifted his hands up to cover his face. "I just miss being able to go outside, and to play music when I want to and not when I have to. And I want to fall in love without being trapped, and be able to kiss the person I want to kiss and not someone who I am scared of."
That just made Murphy want to cry. He was determined to try and get Elijah out of there now, if it was the last thing that he did, but there were so many things that could have gone wrong. If he got them out there was a chance Adam wouldn't want just him. He knew he wasn't enough for him, that he never would be. And if he only got Elijah out then everyone else would have to pay for it. That and he didn't even know how to go about getting Elijah out. Even if he could get him out of the house, ELijah was blind. He wouldn't be able to find his way through the woods and he'd probably die from the cold.
"I'm sorry." he whispered, barely audible in the darkness.
"See, you can't even give me a hug when I'm upset, and I can't even hug you, it's not fair," Elijah said in between sniffs. He hated whenever he broke down, but it was inevitable. He could only go so long without getting emotional. There was always a time when he would break down, and now was just his time. "I'm sorry, I'm just being selfish right now."
Murphy wanted to scream at him, to tell him to stop crying, but he didn't. The entire first month he'd been there he cried, of course the entire first month he'd been in the little isolation room while Adam tried to figure out if he was going to die from an attack or not every time he got close. Elijah had been there a year longer than him, so it was only fair that he get to cry and get to feel like there was no hope, just as much as Murphy did.
"I'm sorry Elijah. I would hug you if I could." Or maybe he'd strangle him to death if he could too, the thought had crossed his mind. What would happen if he'd killed one of the other boys or killed himself just to spare them from all of this.
Elijah swallowed hard and he turned onto his side, putting his back to the direction that Murphy was in because he was sure that the boy didn't want to see him crying. If he was even looking. He quieted down and wiped at his cheeks as he pulled the blankets up to his chin a little more.
"I'm sorry I bothered you or if I woke you up," he whispered after a moment.
"I was already awake." He went days without sleeping until he couldn't stay awake anymore and then he'd sleep for as long as his body would allow him to stay down. He tried to sleep on a normal schedule just so that he was always prepared for Adam's demands, but he couldn't. And on the nights when he thought that he might be able to something always happened, something always came up and he ended up awake, just trying to force himself to pass out. "Just go to sleep, Lijah. I am sure that you'll feel better in the morning if you just sleep for a little while."
"All right," Elijah said quietly, though he really wasn't tired before, he felt so now. The crying and how emotional he'd gotten had absolutely drained him and left him feeling sick inside. He closed his eyes and rubbed at them before he tucked an arm beneath one of his pillows and settled down.
