halloweentown!!! (

halloweenish) wrote in

politico,
@ 2009-12-10 02:17:00

jude, beckett

Jude was silent all the way back to his loft. He was usually so talkative, and always full of smiles and chatter, but not tonight. He had the sinking feeling that something very bad was going to happen to someone on the team tonight, though he wasn't sure what. Maybe it was himself, even. Maybe Wyatt. Whatever it was, he didn't want to think about it, but it seemed to be the only thing on his mind.

As Beckett parked the car, he gathered his bag up off of the floor board and slipped the strap of it over his head and shoulders before he got out. He glanced around for a moment, waiting for Beckett before he started across the street to where his place was. He used his key to let himself into the building, and then led the way to the elevator so that they could head up to his floor.

"You are never this quiet," Beckett commented once inside the elevator. It cast an even darker cloud over that evening because Jude was frequently the one who kept things light, even in the middle of very bad things. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I know this is awful to say, but let him take a stranger tonight and not you or Wyatt. We'll find them all." He was positive in the team's ability.

Jude glanced over at Beckett and nodded his head a little bit. He was trying to relax, but it was so hard. He had no idea how the rest of the team dealt with this sort of thing, it was beyond him.

"I know," he said softly as he managed a smile.

When they reached his floor, they stepped off the elevator and Jude led the way to his apartment. He unlocked the door and let Beckett go in first. It was small, but Jude didn't need much. All of his furniture was vintage and a bit odd, rich blues and greens in color. He had a few random art pieces on the wall, and the place was lived in and a little cluttered in some areas, but clean. In the corner there was a few guitars and a piano.

"It's weird how little we know about each other. The team, I mean." His eyes were busy looking around, partly to take in what he could about Jude and partly to get the layout of the place for the trap. Nothing escaped his notice. "Let's see your bedroom first," he said and then laughed a little. "You know, to secure the windows." Shame on him for even thinking that way in such a situation.

A faint blush creeped up Jude's cheeks, and a quiet laugh escaped him as he put his bag down and then took off his coat. After he hung it up, he pointed at the stairs.

"It's up there, it's all open," he added. "Because it's a loft. But you ... can obviously see that." God, not only was he nervous about the obvious, he was nervous because Beckett was in his apartment, someone he'd long since had a ridiculous crush on.

He nodded and glanced up the stairs, thinking that made it easier to be a blockade between the kidnapper and Jude. He went to look around, checking the bathroom and securing everything he could think to secure. The man wasn't there, he assured himself of that. When he got back to Jude, he looked satisfied. "Coast is clear. This place is as quirky as I'd expected it to be," he commented fondly.

Jude waited over by the piano anxiously while Beckett looked around. He felt antsy, like he couldn't stay still, an he kept fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. When Beckett came back into the main room, he visably relaxed, and smiled a little sheepishly.

"It is?" he asked as he glanced around. "Are you hungry? I can make something..."

Seeing how nervous Jude was, he walked toward him with purpose and put his hand on his shoulder. "I wish I could make you feel better," he said honestly and let his hand drop down to the other man's elbow, giving it a squeeze. "I hate seeing you like this. Let me make you something instead, unless you don't want me rummaging around in your kitchen, that is."

Jude couldn't help but find Beckett's touch comforting, and he smiled a little bit before he shook his head some.

"No, I don't mind," he finally said before he led the way towards the kitchen area. "I just went grocery shopping yesterday, so I have all kinds of stuff..." he added before he glanced over at Beckett. "You cook?"

"Yes, I suspect that if I was younger and slightly more attractive, this kidnapper would be after me for my incredible omelet making talent." He had to joke a little, it was in his nature and he was feeling more at ease now that he was with Jude, right there to protect him.

He went into the kitchen, beckoning the other to follow. This wasn't exactly making himself scarce so that the kidnapper would feel comfortable making a move. But Beckett had it in his head that he wanted to scare the other man off rather than capture him. He just didn't want anything bad to happen to Jude.

"I think you're fine just the way you are," Jude said softly, and honestly, as a shy smile tugged at his lips.

He left his complimenting at that, and trailed after Beckett to follow him into the kitchen. Since the older man had mentioned omelets, Jude assumed that was what he was going to make, so he reached up to pull a pan down off of the hanging rack above the island. He put the pan down as his cell phone started to go off in his pocket, and he pulled it out to read the text message he'd just gotten. He'd had a date to go on, but he'd had to cancel given all that was going on, and his date was disappointed.

Beckett was still on edge, no matter how much he'd managed to convince himself that he was relaxed. The sudden sound startled him and he laughed at himself as Jude checked his phone. The compliment was lingering in Beckett's brain, tingling at the base of his neck and sending warmth over his shoulders. The boy was terribly sweet, everything about him.

He got into the fridge and pulled out some eggs, and some onions and tomatoes. Getting to chopping, he looked over at Jude curiously. "Business? Pleasure?" he asked casually about the message.

When Beckett jumped, Jude smiled in slight amusement, and he moved to lean against the edge of the counter as he scanned the text and started to respond.

"Uh, it was my date," he said softly. "I had a date tonight and I had to cancel because of... well, all of this. I told him I was sick, I hate lying to people. But it's not like I could say, hey, a creepy serial kidnapper might have his eye on me... So..." he sighed quietly. "But this isn't so bad," he added, lifting his gaze up to smile over at Beckett. "You're good company."

He certainly knew that Jude dated people, but it kind of annoyed him at the moment. He wanted to take Jude's phone and chuck it in the freezer so that he wouldn't get another text from whoever this person was. "Oh," he said and he couldn't really keep the shimmer of jealousy from his voice as he turned back to chopping vegetables perhaps a little more forcefully this time.

"And you don't have to say that."

That tone, especially coming from Beckett, was odd and Jude couldn't help but wonder what it was all about. Beckett was usually so easy going and light, so a tone that bordered on snappy was unsettling. Jude chalked it up to the situation, though. It was less than desirable, obviously - he and Wyatt were in danger.

"I'm not saying it because I have to," Jude said as he set his phone down and went over to stand beside Beckett so that he could watch as the man chopped up the vegetables. "I'm saying it because I want to. I've always liked being around you."

"Yeah, but it'd be better for everyone if you were out on that date right now," he admitted as he started to break up little chunks of cheese. Once everything was ready, he poured the eggs into the pan and proceeded to add a few spices he'd pulled out of Jude's cupboard. "First date, by the way, or have you been seeing this person for awhile? You date a lot, don't you." His voice had softened somewhat, but only because he'd forced it to. Why was he getting jealous? He figured that it was easier to ignore this kind of thing in the office, but now that he was in Jude's home, getting some one on one time with him, hits like this affected him more than he'd like to admit.

"Second date," Jude answered as he kept his gaze locked upon Beckett's hands. He liked how fluidly they moved as they worked with the food. "I guess I date a lot - I guess that shows how bad I am at it," he joked with an amused laugh. "I always seem to date the wrong type of men. My Gran always says I sell myself short, and I guess I do sometimes."

That had been another way Beckett had assuaged his annoyance at Jude dating people: it was never the same person for a long enough time for it to become serious. That made him feel better. Beckett softened even more. "I didn't mean to imply that you date too much." The smell of sizzling vegetables rolled up to meet them as he added them to the mix.

Beckett liked hearing about Jude's Gran though. It was terribly cute and he could picture the woman just perfectly in his head, saying all of the things Jude recounted. "What are the wrong types? Do you think this one is the wrong type? If you do, you should just call him right now and say you've met someone else. I'll even talk to him, tell him to leave you alone." He grinned, thinking it a fun game suddenly.

"Oh, you know," Jude said as he reached over to snag up a piece of leftover vegetable so that he could pop it in his mouth. "Guys that cheat, guys that say really awful things to you all of the time, guys that have some sort of substance problem," he shrugged. "But this guy isn't like that. I don't think he's the right one for me, either though." At Beckett's joke, he let out a warm laugh. "You'd pretend to be my new boyfriend?" he teased. "It's like we're playing house tonight."

He definitely did not like hearing all of that. The idea of Jude with those sorts of guys made Beckett want to hunt them down. But he was being hyperprotective. "Well, you can't be sure he's not like that if this is only your second date." Even if Jude didn't think this was the right guy for him, he still wanted to point out the possibility that he could be a complete loser and not worth his time. It would help if Jude simply resigned to stay single forever so Beckett wouldn't have to be jealous.

"And of course I'd pretend to be your new boyfriend, especially if it entailed helping you out of a sticky situation. And I guess we are playing house. I get the feeling if this kidnapper knows I'm here, he'll skip this year, or move on to someone else."

Jude pushed his glasses back up his nose since they'd slipped down a bit, and he was quiet as he listened to Beckett talk. He wasn't sure if Jason, the guy who he had cancelled on that night, was like the guys in his past or not. But at the mention of the kidnapper, his thought had turned elsewhere, away from Jason.

"Do you think that's why he skipped 2007?" he asked softly, "Because the one he had his eye on met someone, and they weren't alone as often?"

"Probably," he nodded. Sliding the first omelet from the pan to the plate, he started the second. "That related case, his presumed first attempt for the second kidnapping, the boyfriend interrupted. He probably makes it a point (now especially) to prey on those he knows will be alone." That was why Liam had wanted Micah and Beckett to be as subtle as possible, in order to lure the unsub. But Beckett was outright blowing those orders off. It was probably a very good example of why getting involved with a team member was a bad idea.

Jude opened the fridge up and reached for the jug of orange juice he had. It felt natural to have juice with the omelet, at least to him, because omelets were a notorious breakfast meal. As he got two glasses down, he pondered what Beckett had said and poured.

"Do you wanna listen to some music?" he asked after a moment, deciding to change the subject. It wasn't ever day that he got to hangout with Beckett outside of work.

"I'd like to listen to some of your music, actually. Though I suppose it will be difficult to eat dinner and play at the same time." But he could wait until after dinner to hear Jude play, if the younger man was agreeable to that.

The second omelet was complete and he slid it onto another plate. Handing Jude one, he kept the other for himself and went rummaging for forks.

"Really?" Jude asked softly, obviously a little surprised. He set the glasses of juice down onto the little kitchen table he had by the window. It was tiny, big enough for only two, which was fine most of the time. "I'll play something for you, then," he added with a shy sort of smile.

The idea of of not only playing something for Beckett, but singing to him, was nerve wracking but he wanted to. Jude could be shy about his music sometimes, but he was pretty proud of it for the most part.

"Good," he said brightly. Finding out more about what made Jude tick was an incredibly nice side effect of this whole operation. He was thankful Liam assigned Beckett to Jude, or Mick since she was the one who had suggested it in the first place.

He sat down at the table, glancing out of it briefly, but keeping his chair in a position where it would be difficult to see his silhouette from most angles. "Do you ever wonder how Agent Montgomery keeps up with having a wife with a job like this? I would think it would be impossible to have a relationship outside of the job. Beckett had tried and it simply hadn't worked out--on numerous occasions.

"Oh, God yes," Jude answered with an amused smirk as he got settled in his own seat. "I've been tempted to hack the system and find his marriage license just so I can poke around about her, fine out what she's like, but I could never really do something like that no matter how curious I am," he added honestly. "She must be really supportive. I can't help but wonder what she's like, you know? And if Liam actually smiles and laughs around her. He's always so serious."

He laughed because he'd wondered the same things. "Well, they do pay you to hack, so he couldn't fault you for your talents." Beckett liked the idea of finding out more about Liam's wife. "Has anyone ever just asked him about her? I think I'm too chicken to flat out ask. He'd glare me into oblivion." Liam could be rather frightening.

"No, I don't think anyone ever has," Jude laughed in amusement as he took a bite. For a moment, he looked as if her were in heaven, and after he'd chewed and swallowed his food he smiled. "This is amazing, I could hire you to make me breakfast every morning," he joked. "What do you think she looks like, Liam's wife? I think tall and gorgeous, like a model," he said thoughtfully.

"You should definitely hire me," Beckett nodded in affirmation. Really, he was thinking that perhaps he should just spend the night and then making breakfast in the morning would be far easier. "I do so hate getting up early though."

At the question about Liam's wife, he made a thoughtful face. "The model type, ey? Why do you say that?"

"You could just stay here," Jude suggested, immediately going into flirtatious-fun-Jude mode. He was very personable, and even sometimes at work he could be a little flirtatious with Beckett but he was so friendly that no one but Mick really took notice of it. At the mention of Liam's wife again, he shrugged his shoulders a bit. "I don't know... I don't think she would act like one, but I just imagine she would be very attractive. Liam is the type who could lure a very attractive woman, you know?"

Normally, Beckett casually deflected such flirting. He was hyper-aware of appearances, always thinking about how something would come across. He chalked it up to his experience with the press and how anything could be taken out of context and turned into an issue. Also, his growing crush on Jude made him sensitive to being obvious about it. But since they were alone in his apartment, he felt more comfortable returning the attentions. "Only if I can sleep in the bed. I'm too old to be sleeping on couches, though I suppose that'll be the case tonight. Well, no--more like staying awake and guarding on couches."

He finally dug into his own omelet, having been distracted. "Lure? That's an interesting choice of words. But I think you're right, he's relatively handsome and certainly has knowledge of human behavior he could use to his advantage."

"Maybe I can stay awake with you," Jude offered after a few more bites. "I probably won't be able to sleep anyway," he added honestly as he reached for his juice to take a sip.

When the topic went back to Liam, he nodded his head in agreement with Beckett's words. It was difficult not being curious about Liam, and especially his personal life. He had so much responsibility when it came to his position.

"I wonder what she does for a living," he said after a moment. "It's strange thinking about what kind of woman it would take to get Liam's attention. She has to be pretty interesting."

"Or maybe she's very simple, not interesting at all. I think after delving so deeply into so many horrible minds, it might be nice to have something uncomplicated." His words were only musings, nothing necessarily true. "I think I've heard Liam talk about her being an artist of some sort, but I'm not sure what kind. That's a pretty big category."

He took a few sips of orange juice, considering his next words. "Do you think you could keep me up all night?"

"An artist? Really? Then I doubt she's anything but uncomplicated," Jude said with an amused little smile before he took another bite of food. He was nearly done, and he was starting to feel a little antsy at the thought of playing his music for Beckett.

When Beckett asked him that next question, though, he couldn't help but smile a little bit wider as he said, "Yes."

The smile was pretty gratifying and he wondered if Jude could ever be interested in someone like him. Sure, the younger man flirted with him, but that was just his personality. "Well good because I don't guard very well in my sleep. I'm sure Mick could, but she's stuck outside--which is infinitely amusing to me and I plan to gloat over that tomorrow at work. I'll bet it's cold out there."

When they finished their food, Beckett took the plates into the kitchen and then returned with an expectant look on his face. He was very much looking forward to hearing what Jude could do.

It was strange to have someone as thoughtful as Beckett around. Most guys Jude hungout with only thought of themselves, and while he and Beckett weren't dating it was difficult not to think about the man in that way.

When Beckett came back from the kitchen, Jude smiled a little nervously as he grabbed his acoustic guitar and had a seat on the edge of the couch. He gave it a strum, just to make sure that it was still in tune before he glanced over at Beckett. Instead of asking if there was anything he'd like to hear, Jude just started to play something he'd written himself. It was slow, pretty, and Jude's voice was oddly airy and light.

If Beckett had known that Jude played music, this was exactly what he would have imagined it would sound like. He sat back to listen finnding a comfortable spot on one of the chairs. He didn't recognize the song and he assumed that Jude had written it which made it all the more impressive.

When the song was over, he offered a bit of applause. "Wow," he said. "You've got more going for you than I even thought--and I already thought you had a ridiculous amount going for you."

Once Jude was finished playing, he wet his lips and looked over at Beckett with a nervous smile. He laughed softly as a blush creeped into his cheeks, and he lifted a hand to adjust his glasses.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "No one at work really knows that I play. I mean, we're always so busy with what we do - especially you guys. But I really love music, I always have."

The blush was sweet and Beckett had to smile. "You're really cute you know," he said as casually as he could say such a thing. It was inappropiate, but Beckett just couldn't care. "I can play 'Puff the Magic Dragon!'" He said somewhat excitedly and resisted reaching for the instrument.

"You're cute," Jude shot back with a little laugh, and then he handed the guitar over. "I wanna hear it, now you have to play it for me," he teased. He couldn't help but grin, he was in an amazingly great mood. "Can I tell you something without you laughing at me?"

Beckett took the guitar and looked clunky with it as he stared at his fingers on the fretboard trying to recall the chords. "Yeah, I think I can promise that." He wanted all the confessions he could get out of Jude. He strummed once and then looked up at Jude so he could tell him what he wanted.

Jude looked a little bit sheepish, but he couldn't not say anything now. It was probably a bad idea, but he felt so comfortable with Beckett alone in his home that he couldn't help himself.

"I've um," he started with a nervous laugh. "I've always sort of ha a crush on you..." There, he'd said it.

Beckett's fingers rested on the strings and he looked perplexed. That was not what he'd guessed. "I thought you were going to confess a big Peter, Paul, and Mary fetish." His initial response to everything was joking, but he let the words sink in and his laughter died down a little. "Really?" He couldn't quite believe it and he was afraid Jude would tell him it was a joke any moment.

"You said you weren't going to make fun of me! That includes laughing," Jude said with a little laugh of his own. Clearly, he wasn't upset about Beckett's laughing, but his cheeks were rosey and his palms felt hot. "I'm serious, really, yes. Mick gives me shit about it all of the time."

"Mick knows?" He said, even more surprised. This was good news as far as he was concerned, though he didn't know if he should tell him he had a similar crush. After a moment of consideration, he realized he would regret missing this opportunity. "The feeling is mutual, actually."

"Mick knows, I think Mick somehow knows everything," Jude said with a soft grin. When Beckett said that the feeling was mutual, though, he paused and looked a little surprised. "Seriously?" he asked. Now it was his turn to be incredulous.

"Yes. Somehow it's much creepier for me to be crushing on you than the other way around. The older one is always the perv, right?" The guitar was all but forgotten in his lap and he searched for something to say to disperse the awkwardness that had sprung up in the room.

"I don't think it's creepy at all, I think it's flattering, I could never get a guy like you," Jude said as he slipped his shoes off of his feet and pulled his legs up onto the couch. He tucked them beneath himself, because he was sort of cold, and wiggled his toes in his striped green socks.

Beckett watched him for a second and then exhaled a held breath. "Yeah you could," he corrected. "You could get a guy exactly like me." And Beckett was thinking maybe he should get up and kiss him or something, but he was so far away and it made the step seem like too much. Intead, he started playing and his singing voice as okay--in tune at least as he sang the first verse of the song he'd promised.

Jude simply shook his head, but left the disagreement at that. For whatever reason, he had the worst self esteem, and that was one of the reasons - if not the biggest - as to why he dated such destructive men. When Beckett started to play and sing, all negative thoughts immediately went out the window and Jude couldn't help but smile warmly.

He only got about half way through the song before he set the guitar aside and stood up. "Do you really think that? Your little head shake there?" Beckett wasn't a trained profiler himself; he was an agent of the FBI and he worked well with the press, but he did not focus so much on the profiling aspect of the BAU. He was the liaison. But he'd certainly picked up enough during his time there to figure out Jude's body language and his history with dating bad guys. "Because I can't imagine anyone being around you for more than five minutes and not wanting the hell out of you. So that stands to reason that 'guys like me' would think the same way."

When Beckett stopped playing, Jude looked up at him in surprise and watched as he stood up. He blinked and wet his lips for a moment, chewing on the inside of the lower one for a few seconds before he shrugged his shoulders a bit.

"I don't have the best self esteem in the world," he said after a moment. "The first guy I ever dated seriously, from the time I was nineteen until I was twenty-five did a really good job at making me feel worthless. Emotionally and mentally and physically, I did a lot of stupid things for him, that's how the Bureau found me. If it wasn't for the Bureau recruiting me, I'd probably still be with him. Or in jail because of the highly illegal things I was hacking into for him and helping him committ fraud for."

Sitting down next to Jude, Beckett listened and couldn't keep a disgusted look from his face. But it was disgusted at the man who'd exploited Jude, not Jude himself. "Maybe you should just stop dating all together, you know? If you keep getting yourself into trouble." Wouldn't that be fabulous for Beckett who would never have to get jealous of Jude dating someone ever again. It was hardly a sound or fair request, and his tone was a little teasing rather than serious, but deep down he would have liked Jude to agree.

"I've thought about doing that," Jude admitted honestly with a sigh as Beckett sat down next to him. "Just for a while, but you know, until I can get past my own hangups. But it's hard. It's lonely coming home to an empty place after seeing some of the things and knowing some of the things I do at work. I can't imagine how it must be for you and the rest of the team, you see so much more."

He watched Jude's mouth move, trying to keep his eyes trained upward but failing. "I'm glad you're not out with that guy tonight," he said honestly. "Really glad actually. I'm glad you're here with me instead."

It was impossible to explain how he compartmentalized his life. It was an ability he had picked up and it was vital to staying sane in this work environment. He went home to his dog and that was enough for him, though he would like to have more someday.

For a moment, Jude couldn't help but wonder how things were going with Micah and Wyatt. Were they having a conversation like this one? How amusing would it be if they were, if they were both experiencing admission of crushes and feelings like this. Little did he know, that was exactly what was going on.

Leaning forward, he lifted a hand up to gently touch the side of Beckett's face before he kissed him softly. It was reflex. He couldn't help himself, and now that he knew that Beckett had some sort of an attraction for him he couldn't ignore the green light. He was very sexually fluid, and when he was attracted to someone he had no problem with making the first move.

Beckett appreciated the way Jude could be so insecure with his choice in men and yet still be able to go after a kiss like that. He admired that about the younger man. It was difficult to think too long on that though, because his soft lips were enticing in ways Beckett hadn't even begun to imagine until now. He took advantage of the small gesture and turned it into a larger one, pressing his lips more firmly against Jude's as his hand came up to cup the other man's jaw. When the kiss broke, he didn't let Jude pull back too far. "Is it bad that this was one of my first thoughts when Liam said I had to stay with you tonight?"

Jude let his fingers ghost along the side of Beckett's face, and he couldn't believe that he was actually kissing the man he'd been thinking about kissing for ages now it seemed. When Beckett pulled back a little, and the kiss broke, Jude opened his eyes and he wet his lips before he shook his head a little. "No," he said with a soft smile, "I was thinking the same thing but I didn't think it'd actually be happening."

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