Title: Memories [part 2 of ?]
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts and Devil May Cry
Characters: Roxas and Nero
Genre: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Nero tries to gain the amnesiac Roxas's trust.
"Hey...Nero?" That's his name right?
"Yeah?" He replies, his back to me. He's running a white wash cloth under the kitchen faucet. I'm sitting at a kitchen table, holding my head. I took two aspirin a minute ago and I'm waiting on it to kick in. It can't come soon enough.
This is a little one bedroom apartment. It's a tad messy, clothes scattered here and there. Not too bad though, it seems comfortable. And familiar. But this can probably be explained by the fact that I apparently live here...with him. In this one bedroom apartment. That's what he told me when we got here. Well, I don't know for certain but I'm pretty sure I wasn't born yesterday.
"You and me...are we...together?"
He stops. His back is still to me, he's still holding the wash cloth under the water, which is running all on his hands but he doesn't seem to be paying any mind. For a moment, he doesn't move or speak. Pretty heavy question, but I have to know. So I asked.
"Yeah." He says in a very sober tone. He finally reaches and turns the faucet off, then turns to me. But he's not looking at me, he's looking at the floor. His shoulders are heavy and his expression is still fallen. The sadness in his eyes continues to tug at my chest. Man, I'm really getting tired of that feeling. He hands me the wash cloth, puts it on my forehead. It's warm and moist. I hold it to my forehead and he pulls away, slouching on the seat just next to me. He leans forward, arms on his knees, head bowed as though his neck can't hold the weight.
He waits. I'm looking at him, torn between wanting to make him feel better somehow and wanting to disappear because I feel like I've just torn this guy apart. "We're married," he says finally.
There's a heavy pounding in my chest suddenly.
"I see..." I say slowly, fingers twitching on the wash cloth sitting on my forehead.
"That's why I need you to trust me." He continues. "I wasn't...going to mention it. I didn't...want to startle you. But I won't to lie to you." He looks up at me and reaches into his hoodie, pulling out a chain with a silver star-shaped pendant and shows it to me. "You gave me this." He lets the pendant fall, hanging over his hoodie as he reaches to my chest. I didn't realize it until he grabbed it, but there was a pendant hanging on my neck too. He grabbed it and grabbed my free hand, putting my fingers around it. "And I gave that to you. We exchanged these after I asked you to marry me. You said yes. And...."
And he's scared that he'll never have his husband back.
I'm scared I'll lost who I was forever.
I start to shake and I think he could sense it, because he pulls away. "Sorry." He says. He gets up, brushing his nose with the back of his forearm. "You should probably rest. Want me to show you the bedroom?"
"Don't say you're sorry." I say, looking up at him. "I asked a question and you answered it. I want to know who I am. No, I
need to know who I am. I don't remember anything. I only know my name because you said it. Please. Tell me more. I have to know who I am."
His eyes seem to waver as he looks back at me, taking in my words. He takes a moment but my eyes don't waver at all, I'm just looking dead at him, waiting. But he doesn't say anything. I don't know if it's because he doesn't know where to start or what, but I'm feeling impatient.
"You're...the only hope I have right now." If we're married, that's not too much to ask, right? I feel like I'm going out on a limb just saying that to him, but it's true. I'm lost and he promised me I could get better. He promised me I'd be okay. I need him to keep that promise. "I don't remember a thing. I couldn't even tell you my shoe size or how old I am. And...I'm scared. And I don't know why, but I feel like I can trust you. So please. Help me get my identity back."
Finally, he sits back down with me. He puts his head in both of his hands, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. The wash cloth on my forehead is starting to get cold, but at least the aspirin is starting to kick in finally so it's okay.
"I made you a promise." He says, his voice muffled from behind his fingers. "I'm going to keep that promise. If it's the last thing I ever do, you will have your identity back. You'll be Roxas again. Because I...I can't..."
He stops. His shoulders start to shake, even worse than before when I had admitted that I didn't remember his name. And I freeze, feeling helpless. What should I do? What should I say? As I'm looking at him, I notice something emerge from between his fingers, glistening against the pale light of the kitchen above us. A single tear, slowly falling down the backside of his hand. Maybe we really are married...
I can't watch this. I just can't. I stand up and drop the wash cloth onto the table and I walk over to him. I want to say something, but I know I can't and I know I can't watch this. Standing next to him, I slowly wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding him tight. I'm sorry that I'm like this and I'm sorry if it's my fault just please...don't cry.
"You can't what?" I whisper.
He stops again. I feel him tremble slightly. I'm pretty sure I surprised him. He whispers, "I can't live without you." As in, who I was. Whoever that person was.
And somehow, the way he said that, I just know. He's telling me the truth. I
am married to him. He's told me the truth about every single thing he's said since I woke up. Or more appropriately, since I fell asleep because let's face it, I'm not awake right now. I'm sleeping.
Regardless, I knew that there was no way he was faking the deep sadness in his voice. That was real.
I watch as another tear falls and drops the floor below him. I hold him tighter. "Please don't cry." I whisper. "I'm going to get my memories back. I told you, I need you. Don't fall apart on me now. I...I need you."
He finally pries his arms from his face and wraps them around my waist, pulling me even closer, burying his face in my chest. At this point, I don't mind. I just hold him. It's a warm, familiar feeling being in his arms. In fact, it's so familiar that I start to wonder if it will help me remember anything.
"I'm not falling apart." He says. "I'll be strong for you."
"I know. I trust you."
He pulls his head from my chest and pulls away, wiping his face. "Before...I tell you more about you, tell me the last thing you remember."
I guess that's fair. I return to my seat with a sigh and stare at the floor. The last thing I remember. I shut my eyes and try to force something into my mind, anything.
"Take it easy. Take a deep breath. Just tell me as much as you can."
I took that deep breath, my eyes still shut. Now, let's see what I can piece together. If anything.
