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The way he said that caused Susan to shift her weight awkwardly. Was it a wrong thing to tell him that he was her first kiss? Did it make things worse; did he not want to know that? Was he not happy it was him and not someone else? Susan also began to feel a little bit like a loser for having the whole first kiss experience wait until she was seventeen, had she not she wouldn’t have made this conversation awkward again. Apparently she did a good job of making things awkward when they shouldn’t be; she really needed to stop doing that. Susan felt speaking her mind was a trait she really sort of needed to work on.

Susan almost wanted to ask if it was weird she had never been physical with anyone, but figured that would only make things weirder. She looked over at him and bit her lip and tried not to appear sad or concerned. “Wasn’t it sort of obvious it was my first kiss? I don’t exactly seem like the type too do much of that.” Susan was completely awkward about anything physical or sexual. She use to cover up her body because she wasn’t ready to deal with the looks that she undoubtedly would get with her figure, her mother had warned her ahead of time, which probably didn’t help her thoughts about the whole breasts thing. Susan was really not the type to be found snogging anyone and honestly it made her laugh to think about it before. Some how she had landed herself two kisses in a span of four days, which was particularly stunning to her.

Her face obviously showed concern and shock, how was she possibly driving him bonkers. Susan wasn’t exactly sure she was doing anything. This whole thing was weird to her. “I don’t mean to give mixed signals.” How was she doing that? Susan was really confused about this. She had only told him something that she thought should be told. “I’m sorry; I just thought you should know. I didn’t mean to weird you out.” Susan said this nervously as she started to play with the hem of his sweater; it really was a nice sweater. “I guess I shouldn’t have told you, sorry.” She gave him an awkward apologetic look. Why the hell was she in this constant position of apologizing, it was driving her nuts.

“You know Justin I shouldn’t be apologizing. You were my first kiss, so what. You should be honoured. I didn’t hit you away, and I didn’t get angry at you. I even kissed you after. It isn’t like I yelled at you.” Susan looked at Justin and wanted to sorry getting stern with him. “Sorry for the stern tone and all.” She said this awkwardly as she sighed softly and bit her lip.

Susan heard what he had to say and looked back at him. Of course she wanted him to feel that way about her, but she wasn’t going to make a scene and not be his friend if he didn’t. Susan was about to say something but the whole thing about Michael threw her off. She appeared rather confused because she was. He wanted to do something to Corner because she had kissed him? She actually seemed a bit hopeful, but tired not to appear too hopeful at this.

Her eyes watched him, walking over him as he spoke about dating friends before. “I am worried about risking it with you too Justin, there is reason it has taken a year to tell you. Just our relationship as friends or whatever has already changed.” Susan looked down at her hand that was near the wall and she moved her hand to his arm and looked back at him. “I of course want you to like me back, but if you do and want to change our friendship then tell me. If you want to try and move back to what we were, forget that any of this happened then tell me. I don’t want to lose you as a friend or anything. I can’t say I don’t want you to return my feelings, but I will cope. It isn’t like I love you; I just like you more than a friend.” Susan sighed as she dropped her hand. She turned her frame and her shoulder leaned against the wall. She tipped her head against the wall and looked him over. “So, what do we do?” Susan sighed heavily and closed her eyes trying not to get all teary-eyed.