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Dean heard how angry he got and this was hurting him as well. He didn’t want to see Sam upset or angry, but he was just confused and didn’t know what he wanted. He thought it would be an easy choice, Sam, but something was holding him back. When the punch flew past him he jumped and looked at Sam as if he was nuts, didn’t he know punching didn’t solve anything even if it was the wall. Now he had to worry about Sam’s raised voice and the sound of wall connecting to hand. Everything Sam was doing was making Dean wanting to just go, and hide but he couldn’t run from this stuff anymore.

“I don’t know what I want, because I don’t know how to make sense of what I feel.” Dean finally said as he looked up to see the tears. Fuck that was not helping. “I like you a lot, I do. Just I don’t want to loose you as you are my best friend. I can see that all of this has just fucked that up and I’m scared it isn’t repairable and that you dating me is some form of making it work. But if that is all that it is I would prefer to try and fix the friendship.” Dean looked at his hands in his lap playing with the sheets. “I want something more than someone to kiss. I want someone who is okay with being gay, and who doesn’t treat me like shit. I know you were going through something, and I wasn’t a good enough friend to figure it out or ask. I was a selfish asshole looking to appease my wants. But everything you did up until punching Stewart was interrupted by me as you just being you, and that what we did was nothing more than fun for the moment.” Dean finished as she looked back up at Sam attempting to keep himself from crying.