LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY inthefreakdom)

Who: Jane Carter, Jack Swann
When: Saturday, July 18th
Where: Pleasantview, Jack's basement apartment
What: Jane comes home and finds Jack in his worst depression yet
Bingo: Life's a Bitch


Jane had finally come home for the summer. She spent the last month in her dorm room, working the terrible job she had in the city. It was probably about time she put in a little time in Pleasantview anyway. She'd spend the rest of the summer hanging around Jack, maybe volunteering some of her time in the kitchen at PMHF.

What she didn't know was that her best friend Jack had been neglecting work and himself. He hadn't left his mother's basement in three days, had barely been able to drag himself to work for two weeks now and had pretty much given up these past few days. By the time she arrived at Jack's bedroom door she had determined that he was in the same pajamas he'd been in three days prior and had been eating cereal by the fistful out of a box, jammed on the couch and watching infomercials all night long until he passed out.

She could practically smell him from the other side of the door, the hum of the tv was clearly audible. Jane didn't bother to knock, because she and Jack had long since thrown out such formalities. She entered quietly and stood at the foot of the couch to examine the damage.

It was about as bad as she expected, except that Jack had something food-like matted in his hair. He'd been drinking in the depths of his self-pity, she surmised: a mostly empty bottle of vodka sat on the table and two others were laying on their sides on the floor. It had clearly been a banner weekend in Jack Swann's basement den.

Jane kicked the end of the couch, a good, swift kick that sent the couch rocking, even with Jack's heavy frame nestled firmly on it. "Get your sorry ass up," she demanded.

"Fuuuu-ooff," he mumbled into his pillows. He recognized Jane's voice, even though he hadn't expected her back this weekend. Jack was so very good at losing track of time. "Lemme sleep," he added, turning his head just enough so his words were perfectly clear this time.

She decided to try a gentler tack. She hadn't seen Jack this depressed since the botched surgery and having to accept an eye patch as a permanent part of his life. "Dude, there's a Bond Marathon on right now. Are you really going to sleep through this?"

"I'm not in the mood to argue the merits of Roger Moore over Sean Connery with you right now," he argued, but he sat up despite his words. He tried to run his hand over his hair to smooth it down, only to find that it was a sticky mess. "Oh christ."

"Oh yes, Jack. What the hell is wrong with you?" She plopped onto the edge of the couch, away from the stanky mess that was her best friend and the bits of shrapnel that had landed around him in the course of his bender.

Jack took a very deep breath. Sometimes he wondered if honesty really was the best policy. Today however, he didn't have the energy to dance around. "I'm banging a tranny."

Jane's head turned, eyes fell wide open. Her mouth however remained firmly closed. Jack was always balls out honest when he was this down. This wasn't some kind of joke. He was really banging a tranny (in his own words). She puzzled over what to say, but nothing clever or helpful came to mind. She sat then and waited for Jack to continue. This was his time to spill it all out if he wanted; she'd listen and reserve judgment for later.

"She… He… Whatever…" He huffed a breath before continuing. "Was a patient at PMHF. We had sex one night in a closet. I knew she was a sex addict and I figured that's why she was there. And I never would have slept with her if she hadn't thrown herself at me. Scout's honor." He held up three fingers and peeked over at his best friend, trying to gauge her reaction to this confession.

"I honestly didn't think it would go any further than that. Maybe sex every now and again in the janitor's closet. But I dunno. We got to talking and there was so much more to her than just sex. She…" He bit his lip. "She's an amazing woman and I…" His eyes filled up with tears, something Jane hadn't seen Jack do since his father's funeral. "I love her," he finished, the tears spilling over. He couldn't finish talking just yet, the sobs pinning down his words.

Jane reached over and patted his shoulder before sliding onto the couch next to him. She wrapped her arms around him. Whatever she was going to say about the situation, all the words flew out of her mind. The very way Jack was talking, his tears, she knew how important acceptance was at the moment. They could gab about the logistics of a straight man with a transgendered woman later.

Jack managed to cry it all out and sagged into Jane's arms. "She didn't tell me herself. I think… She was probably afraid I'd hate her, or be disgusted." He closed his eyes and fell even more limp into Jane's embrace. "I would have. You know I would have. I reacted horribly. I just overheard her telling the doctor what she was and I… I betrayed her. Everything I felt, everything we were together. I just kicked everything in the janitor's closet. I punched a couple things. Damn near caused a bar-fight last weekend."

"Oh Jack," Jane finally said, her tone nothing but sympathy.

Jack sat up, pulling away from Jane. He looked all around the room, at the mess his life had become since he'd overheard the truth. "If you love someone… If you really love someone you wouldn't react that way."

"I don't think that's true. I think because you love someone you react that way. It hurt that much more because you really do love her."

"Him."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter what she is because you love her. You still want to be with her, don't you?"

"I don't fucking know Jane. This whole thing is so fucked up. I haven't returned her calls in two weeks. She's out now. That was the only thing keeping her in the MHF. And I just… I don't even know if I can face her, let alone sleep with her again, knowing that… Christ Jane, she had a penis!"

Jane laughed at that, immediately felt horrible and bit her lip. "And she doesn't have it anymore. I'm assuming since you banged her so many times she has a super fly cooter."

"Don't ever use that word again in my presence."

"So she has the girl parts and she must really like you if she keeps calling. Whatever she was, this is what she is now. You have to figure out if you can be a part of that." It seemed so simple said aloud, but Jane knew simplicity was the farthest thing from it. Jack had gotten in some scrapes in his life, but nothing like this.

"And if I can't?"

"Life's a bitch man. What can I say?"

Jack didn't like this answer. It was a dead end, a no win situation. He didn't want whatever it was that he felt for Kylie to end like that.

Jane reached out and punched him lightly. "Do me a favor, take a goddamn shower, put on some clean clothes and we'll watch some Bond. Whatever you end up deciding, it's not like you're going to make your mind up overnight. It'll take time and you can't dwell on it every second of the day. I'm home now and I won't let you."

He couldn't argue and she was absolutely right. It was time to stop dwelling and actually start deciding. He had as much choice in this as Kylie did. Even if he had the wiggens, there was a deeper feeling that had driven him into despondency over the potential loss of Kylie. That had to mean something; he was more upset at the prospect of losing her than he was about her having once been a man.

He schlumped his way off the couch and toward his bathroom to make himself decent. He noticed that Jane didn't even wait until he was gone to start cleaning up his room. "Glad you're home," he called over his shoulder.

"You would have died in an alcohol-sugar induced coma if I hadn't."

"Probably." And with that, Jack was back on his feet and ready to really figure this out.