LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY all_these_fools)

" 'Go out', he says." There was a pause, and Alex pulled a sickened face in the mirror and closed his eyes.

" 'Go out, you're growing into the couch, he says. Why do I bloody listen to him? I should have stayed home." He turned around and paced a small circle in the empty men's rest room of a small bar he had wandered into.

He was talking to himself originally trying to talk himself down from a panic attack. He'd left his medication at home, besides, he didn't really want to be taking it while he was out drinking.

It was Wednesday, exactly one week from the DQ New Year's Eve / One Year Anniversary party he'd attended only to find his pseudo-girl friend banging the DJ. It hadn't been a good week for Alexander. Only one week in and already he despised 2009.

He'd spent the week home, calling into work all five days. He'd used up almost half his sick time in just the one week. He hardly made it out of bed most days, sleeping and crying in the sort of nest he created on his bed. He'd only emerge when he was hungry, thirsty or needed to use the toilet. Alex hadn't bothered showering that week either, which was a very strange occurrence with him.

It was only a day or two prior to this trip to the bar that Alex found himself spending all his time in the living room. He remained holed up in the corner of the couch, not even taking the time to sleep. He watched channel after channel of mindless programming until he couldn't take it. He'd thrown the remote control across the room and screamed until he passed out.

Benjamin had been returning from his early shift at Taco Bell and essentially talked Alex into getting up, showered and dressed. He practically threw Alex out of the apartment and said it would be good for him.

A lot of good this was doing him, Alex thought bitterly. He'd only had one drink and it made him feel sick. He just wanted to go back home and wallow some more in his sorrows.

I can't, he thought, knowing that if he returned too early, Ben would only drag him out to one of the clubs. He really didn't want that so he decided to stay, choosing the lesser of two evils in his opinion.

Leaving the rest room with a final glance at his reflection he made he way back over to the bar. He slipped into an unoccupied seat and leaned against the bar. He didn't know what he was doing. Would he order another drink? Strike up a conversation with some random stranger? Or would he just gaze off into space for ages before being carted off to the loony bin. He didn't know. Really, he didn't care too much either.