zach (zloper) wrote in valesco,
@ 2009-08-13 06:59:00

Entry tags:

Brianna
When Brianna said she'd be over in a few minutes, Zach jumped up and started picking his place up - he'd banished his mother from his flat once he'd started bringing home nursery stuff - he didn't want to have to explain the whole situation just yet. She knew something was up that was for certain, but Zach didn't want to deal with her. But that meant he'd had to pick up after himself, which wasn't going too poorly, except for this past week in which he'd had hardly any sleep and eaten on his couch quite a bit. He nearly vanished the table trying to get rid of the trash and clean up everything before Brianna showed up.

Looking down at his gross shirt, Zach jumped and ran into the bedroom putting some clean clothes on. He was halfway through getting his jeans on when he heard Brianna arrive. Shit, that was a lot quicker than he'd expected. He'd not had any time to think about what he was going to say. Hopping around to get his legs in the jeans faster, he managed it with only a little bumping around. Zach came out of the bedroom buttoning his jeans up and gave Brianna a wary smile - he was of course very happy to see her, but he wasn't sure how to act.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out right away, he didn't think it was a bad way to start because he was, about a lot of stuff, he didn't think it had been his fault in the first place, getting kicked out of her place but Fiona had been right, he'd been not forward enough. And he probably should have been more insistent at the hospital, but his self-confidence had been shot and he didn't want Brianna mad at him any more than she already was. Except that she was. "Just don't say anything okay, yet. I don't want to fight and in ten minutes you can yell at me all you want, but I just need to say something and show you something."

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brianana
2009-08-18 09:41 am UTC (link)

Brianna, to be totally honest, had no idea why she had decided to come. She did not want to see Zach---or well, she did, more than anything, because it had been a very long time since she had yelled and cried him out the door of her flat and he was her boyfriend (was he? She didn't really know) after all. But she actually did not want to see him at all, because seeing him was a guarantee that there was going to be a fight, and yet another fight with him was the last thing she needed right now.

This was such a tiring relationship to be in with the man--boy--... boy who had fathered her child. After the journal conversation that they'd had not ten minutes ago, Brianna was already worn out, and as she stepped out of the floo and into Zach's haphazardly "cleaned" living room, she wondered how much more she could take in one night.

She was barely inside before she was bombarded with Zach's voice. Brianna didn't really get the time to process what he'd said or the fact that he was apologizing again before he had finished, and sort of just stared at him with crossed arms.

He had something to say, and something to show her? Well, she didn't think there was much that he could say or show her that would make better everything that had happened, but---right, she wasn't going to initiate an argument where there wasn't one (yet). Not that she saw how giving him the time of day now was going to do either of them much more than it had every time that she'd talked to him in the past couple months. Merlin, she was really pessimistic about him, wasn't she? A small voice in Brianna's head said that she had every right to be, but a smaller, nagging one that she'd shoved back in the corner said that she was being unfair.

Right, well. He had ten minutes of fairness before she ripped into him again. "Make it quick, Zach, I'm tired."

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zloper
2009-08-23 04:01 pm UTC (link)

"Right, quick, okay," Zach said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and taking a deep breath, "Okay so follow me. I talked to Fiona. Well, more like she talked at me, I bumped into her at the store or whatever, and I made some decisions? About my life, anyway," Zach pushed open the door to the nursery, because it wasn't just a spare room any more, it was the nursery. For his son. "I picked the colour because I liked it, but that can change, I just didn't want white anymore when I was working in there." He pointed at the box on the floor and sort of waved casually at it, "That's supposed to be a dresser, but I'm not sure where to start. I didn't get a crib because well, I want you to pick one out. Or rather, I want to go pick one out with you and repaint the room or do decorations and stuff with you. I like the grey-blue but if it was a girl we could do something different, but since it's a boy," Zach tried to contain his happiness at that, "We can do a matching colour? Or something bluish. If you like it."

Closing the door behind her he turned to the corner and pulled open a door that was spelled to look like the wall, "This one goes into my room, our room, which I've set up for him too, sorta. I mean, I've been reading the books and they say that the baby needs to be in a bassinet for awhile, and this one can be at your place too, if you want to keep your place," Zach was quickly running out of breath but he had just so much more that he wanted to get out.

"And I talked to my manager and we've rescheduled everything and I'm not leaving the country again for awhile, possibly in February but that's far away and I can just, do something else instead." Zach ran his hands through his hair, his heart nearly beating out of his chest as he looked at Brianna. He wanted her to know how much she meant to him and how much he was willing to do and how far he was willing to go for her. For her and his son and how much he wanted to hug her and hold her until it was alright again. But he also knew he needed to prove something, he wasn't quite sure what exactly he needed to prove, but, he was trying very hard to figure it out.

"I know I just, I'm lame and I'm probably the last person in the world anyone would willingly have a kid with, let alone like this, but I want you to know that I love you and I want you here, with me. And if we can't make this work, it'll kill me but I'm still not going anywhere. I'm here and I'm not leaving." Taking a deep breath Zach hunched his shoulders and looked at Brianna, trying to tell what she was feeling from the look on her face.

"If you want me to propose, I will, but I figure I've fucked up enough already, I want to do that right. When we're ready, like, really, really, really, ready. But I will do anything for you, anything, because you are my life and the most important thing to me."

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