WHO: Bianca Vaisey and Bertram Aubrey
WHAT: Haha, childbirth class brings out Bianca's concerns
WHEN: Sometime today!
WHERE: St. Mungo's
Bianca really had no idea how much more of this she could take. She’d signed up for this childbirth class thinking it would help her feel more prepared for when the baby came, but all she had to discover was that this giving
birth thing was a lot more complicated than anyone had made it out to be. There were also so many things that could go
wrong and for a person like Bianca, who liked to have her plans perfected to the second, the
millimeter, the realization of all that having a baby required was suddenly quite daunting.
She pushed her back into Bertram’s chest as they sat on the floor of the room in St. Mungo’s, along with a dozen other couples. Bianca was glad they’d been told to sit like this; her quickly building panic was kept internal by Bertram’s close proximity and his arms around her. God, his hands could barely lock around her stomach these days,
another reason for Bianca to feel completely useless and miserable. Not only did she have to worry about having this baby in two months, she had to deal with feeling like an invalid for the next ten weeks (only
ten!).
“Annnnd, we’ll talk about all the different places you could give birth after our fifteen minute break!” their instructor said, a chipper young healer that Bianca felt like strangling, “You’ll be amazed at how many people opt to use bathtubs!”
Bianca blanched and grabbed onto Bertram’s hands. “No,
no, before you even think about it,” she said, leaning her head back to twist and give him a pointed look. She let her head rest on his shoulder, the glare disappearing quickly as her worries and concerns were too strong to ignore.
This was definitely one of those things that he hadn’t been at all sad about missing with Amissa. Rachel probably would have torn his head off during the
introduction class. As it was, though, he was -- glad that Bianca was more than marginally saner than his last birthing partner. Bertram wrinkled his nose, trying very hard not to think about any other creative places people could choose to give birth. It wasn’t that babies were gross, persay, but
having a baby was not the most glamorous thing in the world.
He hadn’t been sure about this ‘class’ thing, but it had seemed like Bianca needed it at the time. He furrowed his brows when Bianca grabbed his hands, flashing her an innocent grin and then arching a brow. “What, no bathtub? Why don’t we try the indoor pool? More spacious, there’s jets … we could just pop the baby right out and into a set of water wings!”
Bertram was definitely going to get hit for that, but he felt that it was a fair trade-off for getting Bianca to calm down and relax - or at least to get her mind off of things.
“
Popping--” just the word made her cringe, especially because it was going to be nowhere
near as easy as Bertram’s joke made it out to be. Bianca frowned and further slumped into him, looking back at the other couples that were getting up for the break. She really didn’t feel like moving, but she would it be weird if they just stayed there? Oh, no, they couldn’t if that bloody instructor stayed behind...Bianca let out a breath as she overheard the healer announce that she was going to go get coffee.
“Who would want to swim in a pool someone’s been born in?” she muttered, pullling her knees up and feeling like a boulder. Even if she wanted to get up, she wouldn’t be able to, not without Bertram’s help, anyway. “I’m sure that wouldn’t be delightful in the slightest.”
Her tone was dry, and while she wanted to continue joking around with Bertram, it felt pointless. “Though I’d imagine they’d confuse me for a whale and pull out their harpoons.”
“Whales do not have such an ample and full bosom,” Bertram assured her with a grin and a shake of his head. Okay, so this ‘distract Bianca’ thing wasn’t going so well. What was it that women liked to do when they were feeling insecure?
Oh, that’s right -- make fun of other women. He waved his hand at the instructor who’d just stepped out into the hallway for some coffee. “You know, for someone who claims to teach a class on childbirthing, I’m pretty sure that she has no idea what it’d actually be like to have kids. And her voice is so bloody … annoying.” Hopefully Bianca wouldn’t misconstrue these comments as a knock against the class - he was actually learning things he hadn’t known before.
“And as for the pool, it’s not like we’d have to
tell anyone that we had a baby in it.”
Bianca barely refrained from rolling her eyes and simply smirked, pushing her chest together with the side of her arms with a great sigh, “They’d make great floatation devices, I can give you that much.”
He was right, though, about their healer. She hadn’t mentioned if she had any children, but by the look of her it didn’t seem to be the case. Bianca had read as many books as she could about labor and having a baby, and yeah, sure, the woman was a
healer, but even she admitted that childbirth was different for everyone, that there was no
right way to go about things. Bianca really,
really had been hoping for a solid answer on the subject, and now she was left fending for herself. For themselves?
“I feel like I could really screw this up,” she finally let out, feeling as if those breathing techniques they’d just learned would come in handy right about now. Bianca squirmed in Bertram’s arms, not wanting him to see her get all teary-eyed, even though she’d cried enough in the past seven months to fill a lifetime of awkward moments.
He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped when she pushed her chest together like that. She was lucky they were in public, or he’d probably have done something untoward like motorboated her over that. “Your chest is a life-saver, Bianca, I’ve said it before.” He grinned only slightly stupidly, and then blinked when Bianca blurted that she was worried she was going to screw it up.
“You mean the actual ‘having the kid’ part? I don’t think you can really screw that up.” Well, he didn’t think that
Bianca could screw it up. She’d been going to the healers like she was supposed to, and they were taking this stupid class - that was pretty much as much as anyone could do to prepare for a baby, right?
Bertram gave her a brief squeeze. “Besides, if anyone fucks up it’s probably going to be me. Or we can just tell people it was me, regardless.”
She felt a great big pout coming on. Bianca stretched out her legs and twisted as much as she could without really leaving the comfort of Bertram’s embrace and turned to face him. He’d been so very good during the entire pregnancy, even when they were separated Bertram had made it to all the appointments and had continued to help her out in whatever way possible. It was a great big change, considering that everyone she’d ever mentioned Bertram to could not put his name and the word ‘responsible’ in the same sentence. She was glad for him, Bianca was glad that she was having a baby with
him because as unorthodox as their relationship had been, she knew they were going to go about it the right way.
Well---that was about as rational as she could get at the moment; Bianca knew that she and Bertram would be fine, but this whole class had unleashed a tidal wave of fear that she’d been bottling up since she’d discovered she was pregnant.
“Yeah, but what about after
that?” Merlin, her mind was racing; making it through the birth was the easy part compared to what came after! “What if I don’t know how to make him stop crying? What if he doesn’t like me?” It sounded stupid after she’d said it, but Bianca knew that her concern was real and painful to think about, “He could definitely not like me, I’ve got no patience!”
“Babies don’t care if you don’t have any patience. Just don’t raise your voice and you could be telling him whatever you wanted for the first few months, he wouldn’t know the difference.” Bertram wasn’t
really sure about that, but it sounded good and that was what was important right now, right? He loosened his arms so she could twist against him, glancing down at her with a faint smile. “And if something doesn’t make him stop crying, we’ll just have to try something different.”
Bertram paused. “For a while, the only way that I could get Amissa to stop crying was to turn one of her teacups into a monkey,” he offered helpfully and with a laugh, “I mean, you just have to try everything until one thing works.” It was odd to think that he was the one who might actually have experience and insight into something like raising a child.
He made a lot of sense, and it was easy to believe him. For all the pulling away Bertram had done about his personal life, he’d never shied away from talking about the baby, or Amissa. She trusted his instincts, even if she still felt nervous and ready to puke at the thought of not just being this child’s incubator, but his mother. Bianca rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers, tilting sideways into Bertram’s chest once again, feeling ready to start crying, but also start snogging him all at once. And here she was, thinking she’d gotten her emotions all straightened out.
“I’m starting to realize that my books aren’t going to show me how to be a good mum,” she said with a heaving sigh. Everything had been very technical to Bianca up until recently. If she did what the books said, then she should be all right, yeah? No, no of course not. If she’d been a Ravenclaw then maybe she would have been able to believe that, “I’ve battled death eaters and I’ve never felt as scared and clueless as I do about this.”
Bianca looked up at Bertram, wondering if he’d grow annoyed by her whining and constant worrying about this. She really wanted to be calm and fine with everything, but it was
so hard, it was like nothing she’d ever encountered before. “I’ve never whined like this either, I’m chewing your ear off.”
“You could be literally chewing my ear off to distract me, that would probably work.” Truly, Bertram was really quite easy to distract. He shrugged again. “You don’t think I was this nervous about having Amissa? There are a lot of things that I didn’t worry about even when I was young, but that was definitely not one of them. You just kind of have to go with it.”
That was his philosophy when it came to most things, sure, but that was what was working. He laughed, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Besides, babies are definitely scarier than death eaters. Death eaters probably aren’t going to poop all over you.” Then again … they might.
She let out an honest, full laugh at the image and Bianca tugged gently on the front of his shirt, kissing his chin, “You’d be surprised what those bastards used to fling at us,” she giggled. Okay, okay, maybe that’s what she needed, a big laugh. Bertram was always able to make her crack a smile when situations got tense, eventually, anyway. Bianca continued to play with the front of his shirt, her voice ducking to a whisper,
“Maybe we should escape before she comes back,” she suggested, that urge to snog him in the first empty closet they found returning to her. What was sexier than a bloke who was willing to sit through a class like
this with a smile on his face? Bianca’s eyes fluttered she pulled on his collar to kiss him properly, not pulling away until she heard the door open and the other couples slowly beginning to drift back in.
“Hurry and help me up,” she laughed, hoping it didn’t break the mood.
“Oi, so demanding! I ought to leave you on the floor for that,” he teased, pushing himself to his feet in order to help Bianca up as well. See, that was the nice thing about Bianca. They actually talked about serious things, but she was ready to snog him in a broom closet when everything came down to that. Bertram laughed, offering her out his arms.
Dating a pregnant lady was definitely making him stronger, he thought. Whether they actually skipped the rest of the class to go and make out or not, he was glad they’d come today. If it helped expose some of Bianca’s worries about things beforehand instead of during when she was in labour, it was worth it.
