His eyes raked across Emmeline methodically, checking for--- well, Caradoc wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for, but it felt necessary to do. They hadn't spent this much time apart, albeit short to begin with, for a very long time, and it felt strange. He didn't--- Caradoc didn't like the feeling of not knowing where she had been, what she had been doing. It felt uncomfortable, and even more so because he was the reason behind her lack of presence in the first place.
Ah.
Caradoc swallowed loudly, his throat becoming all of the sudden very dry. There were--- there had been things he had been thinking about saying, before, to her, but now it felt very difficult to speak, let alone think. It felt like a hand had grabbed at his throat, squeezing it shut so that he could not speak. Floundering, Caradoc continued to hold out his hand out toward her.
Words were necessary to speak. And he wanted-- Caradoc wanted to tell Emmeline many things, all of the things he should have said earlier plus more. But it felt very hard to do. He knew that she must be going just as insane as he was, but it didn't feel like it. And it was stupid, because it was all over this--- thing this little thing that wasn't even a person yet and the thought of it made him go into another dimension of insanity.
"I talked with Sebastian," he blurted finally, tired of holding back but reluctant to continue on without some kind of respond from Emmeline. "On the--- there," Caradoc mumbled, feebly indicating back toward the table with his journal still lying open.
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