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Would it be terrible of him to complain about his lack of sleep and back pains? Yes, it would be awfully terrible, but he couldn't possibly ignore it. Gabriel sluggishly exited the floo and stood in the center of the den before he picked up his feet again. He draped his cloak over the back of a chair and dusted himself off, wondering what time it was even though he knew it was early. He had barely been able to get through the first hour of reports today, and Octavius had not even given him the chance to defend himself when he told him to go home and rest. Gabriel would not have even had the energy to fight his manager, and here he was, back home feeling guilty that he was half hoping it was empty.

No, it wasn't that he didn't---Gabriel had been sleeping in Michael's room, which was helpful to his son because of the change in Rachel's demeanor, but it was uncomfortable for a plethora of reasons. The couch was too small, the boy liked to talk in his sleep, and all Gabriel could think about as he went to bed was how he was only here because his wife could not recall who he was and needed time, and space, to herself. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop himself from thinking and dreading and extrapolating the fear that Rachel's memory would never come back. Gabriel did as the healers explained, slowly try to get Rachel back into some sort of routine, but with each passing day with no progress just made him feel like he was useless in this cause. Or even worse---what if there was no getting better for Rachel? What if getting better just meant finding her own niche again that did not involve him?

And so began the cycle of depression Gabriel had found himself in. He looked at his children and watched Rachel with them; sometimes he saw a smile light up her face when one of the little ones did something sweet or kind, and it made his heart thud. Maybe she'd give him one of those smiles again one day, but he reminded himself that it had been over two weeks since her memory had been lost and he still felt like a complete stranger to her. He knew that wasn't a long time, but---it hurt like it had been a thousand.

Gabriel climbed the stairs, shutting his eyes and not realizing that he walked straight to the master bedroom to lie down instead of Michael's room. His hand ran through his hair, and he noticed for the first time its length because of how it was beginning to curl. He probably looked a wreck, and was about to let out a great yawn when he opened his eyes and spotted Rachel by his dresser. Gabriel froze in the doorway, unsure if he should leave and let her be, but something kept him rooted to the spot.

"Are you all right?" he asked, feeling uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed about his unkempt appearance. Or was it because he was entering the master bedroom that he had not stepped foot in since her return from the hospital, let alone be in there with her?