WHO: Henry Wadcock and Seth Wadcock
WHAT: Brotherly feels :(
WHERE: Their parents' house
WHEN: This afternoon?
The quiet chatter of the guests could be heard from downstairs. He would have to thank his parents, at some point, for hosting the gathering without him having to ask. There was no way the Twilfits should be given anything else to worry about, Henry believed. He heaved in a deep breath as someone let out a loud laugh from the first floor, and he dropped his gaze to his shoes.
He sat on the edge of his childhood bed, as his mother had insisted that her boys should always have a place to come home to. Both she, his father, and Seth had offered Henry solace away from the house he had bought with Heidi, but being displaced for any longer would drive him mad. Brandon needed to be back in familiar environments and the house...it was a perfectly good house. There was nothing wrong with it besides the fact that Heidi’s belongings were still in the exact same places she’d left them, never to be touched by her again. He’d have to pack her things, maybe he could have her mother come and take what she wished, maybe---
Henry pressed the heel of his foot on top of the other, forcibly stopping his thoughts. He was at the reception, or whatever the hell you called it, of his fiancée’s funeral. He should not be thinking about shipping her belongings away. His hands pressed hard into the mattress and he kept his eyes down, hoping that the footsteps that were coming toward the open door of his room would understand he wished to be alone.
Of course Henry wished to be alone. Seth got that hint when his ickle brother had snuck off earlier, but it had been long enough now that guests were leaving and comments were being made about his absence. He could only glare at so many people before he made his way up the stairs. Just because someone wished to be alone didn't mean that they should be.
Being in their parents’ house brought back a flood of memories. Like the time he convinced Henry that the space between the banister bars was surely big enough for him to stick his head through (it wasn't) , that it wouldn't get stuck (it did). His mother was so livid. Kicking the spoke with a sad smile, Seth made his way down past his room to Henry's. He leaned against the door frame as he looked around the room, his nose wrinkling at the Slytherin paraphernalia as it always did. And now he remembered why he did such things as he did.
When his gaze finally landed on Henry, the look on his face clearly said that he should go. Too bad Seth was never good at listening to his brother. He settled himself on the bed next to Henry, grabbing a pillow to stuff behind his head as he leaned back.
There was nothing to say really. Nothing that hadn't already been said. Seth had liked Heidi. A lot. Mostly because she slapped him in the face that one time when he almost ruined things between her and Henry. He deserved it and she deserved the respect he gave her for so fiercely protecting something she cherished.
He tore his gaze from the ceiling and studied his brother. He didn't deserve this. No one should have to go through such heartbreak. "Remember when I charmed all your Slytherin stuff to Gryffindor colors and you almost pushed me out your window?"
Of course it would be Seth. Henry didn’t have the energy to waste on telling his brother to leave, though a small voice was grateful for the break of silence. His eyes lifted from the floor to stare at the Slytherin pennant that was pinned over his dresser, which still had hints of red and gold in the stitching (of course Henry had inspected it down to the very last thread). They had gotten into so much trouble that day, he could still feel the phantom pains in his ear from when his mother had yanked him off of Seth.
“You were an arse,” Henry said lightly.
It seemed like a millenia ago, his time in Hogwarts. It seemed like decades had passed instead of not even one. It felt like---it felt like Heidi’s death had been crushing his chest for years instead of the mere week it had actually been. Henry sucked in a deep breath at the thought, his shoulders tightening. Every part of his body stiffened and he shut his eyes to try and focus to gain mobility of his limbs. The voices from downstairs continued to float into the room and he knew that people would be looking to say a final goodbye to him. They’d give him that pitying stare, some would start to cry again...He couldn’t, he couldn’t do it anymore---
Henry took a sharp breath and twisted to face Seth. It felt like every breath he took burnt his lungs and caused his eyes to water. He felt like a little first year, terrified of venturing out into the corridors on his own.
“Don’t make me go down there, Seth,” he pleaded, shaking his head and growing more worried by the second, “I can’t.”
“Good to know that has finally become past tense.” Seth interjected with a small grin, that quickly vanished when his brother suddenly turned to him. He froze staring back at his brother. The number of times he had seen his brother cry, a majority of them, they were still in school. And it was his fault, and most times he felt a bit guilty. But since graduation, not once. So to see the tears well up in his brother’s eyes, it felt like his heart was going to sink to his gut. Because unlike all the times he made Henry cry on purpose, he couldn’t fix this.
“Hey,” he said sitting up, resting his hand on Henry’s shoulder. “Hey, I didn’t come up here to force you back to the--” party? No you couldn’t call it a party. Gathering? Reception? “I’m not here to make you leave, okay? I’m here to--because--”
Seth had come up because he didn’t want Henry to be alone. And because he was tired of mingling with well wishers, and dealing with the tears of people he didn’t even really know. Though mostly the former. Seth dropped his hand from his brother’s shoulder and looked away. Not once had Seth expressed his condolences to Henry. What would saying ‘I’m sorry’ really do? Especially since it had been said so many times before. It was sure to be old by now. Even before all this, when she was perfectly healthy, it wasn’t like something they ever discussed. Seth stopped his commentary on his brother’s relationship after the last time he tried to ‘help’ was clearly unhelpful and unwanted. He had no idea how to express how he was feeling to his brother.
His throat worked as he tried to find the words he wanted to say. They always seemed to fail him when most important. He didn’t want to come off as trite or trivial. Or most commonly, an arse. “You stay up here as long as you like. I just came up to be annoying. Normalcy and all that.” He waved his hand as he choked out the words. Not even close to what he wanted to say, but it was safe, probably even expected.
Henry nodded, his posture crumbling under Seth’s hand. There were so many times that he had screamed and shouted at his brother to get out of his room, to leave him alone, but in the moment he was glad to have Seth there beside him. His brother was the only one who was ever truly honest with Henry, even if his opinion was drastically different than his own. It gave Henry a sense of security, knowing that Seth agreed that he didn’t have to go back downstairs. If Seth wasn’t going to drag him down the stairs, no one else would dare.
“You’re not annoying,” Henry muttered, finding himself glad that his brother was here. They had been through a lot these past few years and thankfully they had formed some sort of understanding. You couldn’t really turn to someone the way you could a brother, not when you’d manage to go through hell with each other and still find it in yourself to have drinks by the end of the night. It---it killed him, that he and Heidi would never be able to give Brandon that sort of relationship. Henry couldn’t even force himself to imagine that one day, maybe, but---they hadn’t even gotten the chance to talk about more children. They hadn’t even---
“We never picked a date,” he said, shoulders heaving with every breath. Henry knew the last thing Seth wanted to deal with was a flood of tearful regrets, but he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t focus on anything else but what he had lost. “We never---we were always so busy. I was always so---” His face screwed up as he tried to control his tears but it was useless. “How can I live with myself knowing that---I was too busy to marry her?”
He stared miserably at nothing and Henry’s breath got caught in his throat. He shook his head, pressing his lips together in a vain attempt to keep his composure. He knew he couldn’t stay in this room forever, he knew he would have to face his parents, Heidi’s family, he knew he would have to take Brandon home, but Henry really could not see himself moving an inch off this bed. He couldn’t. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”
Seth had thought the tears would be the worst, but he was sorely mistaken. The things Henry was saying, out of everything he was expecting this was not one of them. And it didn’t even make sense. What Henry was saying was so grossly wrong, Seth really wished he would just --- “Shut up.” The words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. Here his brother was crying and the first thing Seth could manage was to rudely tell him to stop talking.
“Just stop. What you are saying is wrong.” He ran his hand over his face. This was not his thing. He did not do sappy words of condolences. He was the one to point out the flaws, not the good things. How could Henry not see what was so obvious. Seth saw it and he failed spectacularly at relationships. So much so, he was positive it physically pained Henry to talk about it. Seth envied what Henry had, because it was something he never managed himself. He needed validation for everything.
“You weren’t too busy, you just didn’t need it. You didn’t need a marriage to feel secure in your love for her. The two of you, you didn’t need to prove to the world what you had was real. Just because you took your time to pick out a ring, and didn’t rush to set a date doesn’t make it any less valid. It means so much more, so just stop. Everyone who matters already knows that you were the most important person in her life.”
Seth took a deep breath and look over to his brother. He looked to the ceiling briefly, because he was not going to lose his composure as well.
“Hey. Look at me, stop thinking and just look at me for a second,” he demanded, putting his hand on top of Henry’s knee. “I know how you are going to do this. You are going to do this because you are not me. You don’t fall apart when things go to hell. You stand up straighter and take it with stride. You can do this. As terrible as this is this isn’t going to destroy you. So stop remembering all the awful things, and think of the good ones, okay.”
Henry forced himself to take a few deep gulps of air, staring in astonishment at Seth. He shook his head a twitch, eyes wide, “When’d you become a motivational speaker?”
He wiped at his face, his tears having halted at Seth’s insistence. Hearing his brother sound so sure that things would be all right, that Heidi had known how important she was to him it----it didn’t fix things, but it certainly helped put them into perspective. He still felt guilty, and probably always would about the fact that he and Heidi had never wed, that Bran wouldn’t have photographs of what should’ve been the happiest day of their little family’s life. But...Seth was right. Heidi had even said---he last words to him had been how he had made her whole again. That laid heavily on Henry’s shoulders, that he really could have had such an impact on a person, but she had fixed him up, too.
Before Heidi, it had been all work and absolutely not even a thought of play. She’d made him want to have fun, she made him evaluate all the relationships in his life; if it wasn’t for Heidi, he and Seth would not have mended their strained situation. If it wasn’t for Heidi, he wouldn’t have dared try to take on a project as large as W.Q.W. She made him believe he could be better, and Henry knew he had to continue living his life in that manner if he wanted to honor her memory. In the moment it seemed clear what we had to do, how he had to act, and Henry hoped he could manage to do so.
His gaze dropped back down, but his breathing had gone back to normal. Though his eyes were still red, the constant pain in his chest had lessened, and that was good.
“I need a drink,” he admitted, sniffling and wiping his nose with his sleeve. Henry was already feeling sluggish, at least a pint could dull the rest of the pain away.
“I am not-- just shut up.” Seth muttered, tingeing slightly at the fact that his little speech actually worked. The tears had stopped, and he no longer feared his brother was going to pass out from not properly breathing. What he had said, it wasn’t anything extraordinary, just the truth so the look he was getting from Henry was a bit unnerving.
He perked up a bit at the mention of a drink. This was something he was sure he was good at. Already drained from the very short amount of time he had been in the room, Seth was ready for a drink himself. Except he knew for a fact there wasn’t anything worth drinking downstairs. The trick would be getting out of the house undetected. “Well everything is winding down, I’m sure it wouldn’t take that long to make our way out. Or, well--” he said thinking aloud. He wasn’t quite sure what Henry was looking for when he said he needed a drink, but he figured that he should offer all options.
“I have a makeshift ladder hidden in my closet I use to use to sneak out of my room after curfew.” Seth offered with a small shrug and a guilty look. The number of times Henry tried to prove that he had been sneaking out, but couldn’t figure out how he was getting past the wards their mother put up after he got caught sneaking home at four in the morning one summer night. It drove his brother crazy, and here he was handing over his well guarded secret. He figured it was worth it. “And there is a pub a few blocks over that I happen to know a pretty decent shortcut to?”
“I knew it,” Henry hissed, unable to control himself. All these years, his brother and parents had thought he was mad, but he’d known Seth was sneaking out!
But, now was not the time for such childish things. Henry cleared his throat and stood, straightening out his robes. On other days he would never even think of leaving the house with his face in such a state or his clothes so---well, he was wearing nice robes, wrinkled, but nice---to a pub it didn’t make sense, but...he was planning on not letting his anxieties get the best of him, not anymore. Life was, unfortunately, too short for such things.
He ran a hand through his hair, taking in a deep breath. If his brother hadn’t come up here, he was sure that he’d have given himself a panic attack.Henry put his hand out for his brother, “Thanks, Seth. Let’s go try out that ladder.”
