WHO: Jake Bexley and Dedalus Diggle
WHAT: Dedalus is getting participants for his trial
WHERE: St. Mungo's
WHEN: Now?
It had been easy for him to make it to St. Mungo’s because William had grabbed his arm and dragged him through the floo. The entire way Jake had loudly insisted that he could have gone by himself, and Will, in his irritating fashion always repeated the same mantra of ‘Yeah, but would you?’ It always knocked Jake into silence because it was very hard for him to lie. They would go through the argument every ten minutes, and each time Jake would quiet himself with the shame that he knew he would not have managed to get himself out of the flat today to go to this interview.
An interview was supposed to be something positive, something that led to a promotion and bettered your life. This ‘interview’ with the brain healer (that was what Will had been referring to him as, and Jake hadn’t bothered to find out the technical term) was not something positive, not in the slightest. He was going to be questioned and tested to see if he was crazy enough to make it into this experiment he’d concocted.
It had been easy for him to sit and wait for his turn, but Will had left a few minutes ago to get to practice because the wait time was running long. Bloody healers, stinkin’ healers, always making people wait. Jake silently cursed all the healers in the hospital as he paced and forth across the narrow hallway, turning on a quick heel. It was almost a march, the young man having been unable to lose the strict training that had been drilled into him during his days on the field.
Now all he had was his stupid muggle side-job, and the lousy stupid desk that the auror department had stuck him on with the same parchment forms to fill out, and the sad, pitiful looks he got all day and every day---Jake straightened at the sound of his name, focus falling on the healer. He stepped forward and put out his hand, “I’m Auror Jake Bexley.”
The last few weeks had been a whirlwind for the young healer, and he was still trying to get everything in order as one of the nurses knocked on his office door, reminding him for the millionth time that there was someone waiting to see him. He just kept nodding his head as he flipped through the paperwork he had sitting on his desk. He was trying to hurry, but because he was always so organized, it was baffling him that he couldn't find the particular piece of parchment he was looking for.
It was there, he knew it was there because he had put it there knowing he would need it when the time came to see 'Bexley, Jake', the next patient who had signed up for the clinical trial he was running. So far he had only met with one or two other patients, though they both only suffered from mild anxiety. He was able to give them a standard potion to ease their nerves and wish them well, but he didn't think they were suitable for what he was trying to achieve.
"AHA!" He exclaimed, yanking the parchment out from where it had been hiding in his drawer, unsure of how it had gotten there in the first place. He was sure it must have fallen in while he was rummaging, but he made a mental note to straighten his office the next time he had 10 minutes to dedicate to it. He could have charmed everything to go back to its rightful place, but he was very particular about where things went, which was why it still looked like a bomb went off in there. He had been out of the country for the last week or so, and preparing for the conference in New York before that, so he wasn't going to beat himself up over letting things get a little out of hand.
With the form in his grasp, Dedalus escaped from his office to hurry down the hall, almost skidding to a halt when he got to the nurse's desk.
"Jake Bexley?"
He questioned, brows raised expectantly as he waited for someone to respond to the name. When he finally spotted him, Dedalus approached, extending his hand out to take hold of his as he introduced himself. "I'm healer Dedalus Diggle." He said with a small smile, though he wondered quickly if maybe Jake thought he was mocking him with the introduction and cleared his throat a bit. "Or just Dedalus. I don't really stand on formalities, so whatever you would be most comfortable with is fine." He reached up to adjust the collar of his robes. "I'm sorry I kept you standing out here for so long, but if you'll follow me we can get started."
He led Jake down the hall into one of the examination rooms, allowing him to either take a seat or remain standing. Dedalus chose to occupy one of the stools so that he could lean against the counter with the parchment he had been digging for. "So, Jake..." He started, "I’m going to start by asking you some very basic questions. First, how did you hear about this trial?"
His eyes darted along the walls of the hospital corridor, taking in his surroundings so that he could place it firmly in his memory. His brother hoped that he would get into this trial, if only to get him out of his hair for some time; Jake knew that was the real reason behind William’s insistence. He’d had an intense hatred for hospitals since he was little, a feeling that had only been intensified during his long stays after his injury.
‘Injury.’ Jake scowled at the thought as he entered the room behind the healer. He could run as fast as anyone on the field right now, his spellwork was impeccable, he wasn’t injured. His instincts were heightened, he paid far more attention to details than the average person, the average auror. One would think that would be a positive attribute to one on the force, but apparently there were other ‘tendencies’ that kept him from being eligible to return to real work.
Jake’s gaze drifted as the healer began to ramble and he answered his question bluntly. “My brother heard about it. He thinks I’m crazy. I’m not crazy.”
With a sardonic smile he looked back at the healer. It wasn’t a secret to Jake that people thought he was an oddball. It didn’t make him feel right, but he knew it was what they thought.
Dedalus jotted down his answer on the sheet of paper he had brought in with him; it wasn't vital information by any means, but it did allow him to formulate some follow-up questions. Jake's defensive remarks and that cynical smile he offered made it very clear that he had no desire to be there, so he'd try to proceed with caution.
"There are various degrees of 'crazy', Mister Bexley," he began. "I've only just met you, so it's unfair of me to make an accurate assessment, but I have never met a witch or wizard who has willingly labeled themselves as such. I meet with a woman who thinks her cats are in control of the weather, and she considers herself to be quite normal." He paused for a moment, considering his words. "The point I'm trying to make here is that we all have our own opinion on what the word 'crazy' actually means. Just remember I'm not here to label or judge you. I'm just trying to get a general idea on what I may be able to do for you."
He turned back to the sheet of paper, reading over what was written down. It was a questionnaire that he had sent out to the witches and wizards who had signed up for the trial. The answers given on Jake's paperwork were extremely vague, if answered at all, so he set it back down on the table before turning his full attention back to him, placing it aside for the time being. He was hoping that maybe he'd be more willing to answer questions verbally, now that he was speaking to an actual person and not answering to a two dimensional piece of parchment.
"How long have you been an auror, Jake?" He referred to him in a less formal way to see if he would correct him, and insist on keeping formalities, or if he was okay with being called by his name.
Jake listened to the healer’s words carefully, turning them over in his mind. No, no one wanted to be crazy. He wasn’t. He wasn’t at all, his brother simply had no patience. There were things he could do and couldn’t do, why was that so hard to understand? Jake couldn’t tell you why he had to do these certain things, all he knew was that he had to to keep his life in order and in check. Why wouldn’t you want to be prepared for the worst? Aurors all had that sense of urgency, to be on constant---
“Since I graduated Hogwarts, Gryffindor house, in 1980,” Jake said, spouting the information quickly and unable to hide his expression of pride. He loved being an auror. “I was sent out into the field during my first two months because of the earthquake in Diagon Alley and remained on active duty until---”
He stopped abruptly, eyes dropping as his thoughts moved too terribly close to that night. Jake had become an expert of completely avoiding the darkness that came along with those memories, and he was not about to cause himself pain because a healer had asked a simple question.
“I’ve been on desk support since November of 1981. Once You-Know-Who had been defeated,” he said with a firm nod, crossing his arms and unconsciously beginning to lightly pace once more. He had once been able to say the Dark Lord’s name without hesitation, but it was hard enough to push the pseudonym off his tongue.
Dedalus watched Jake with great interest, noting the change in his tone as he answered his question. He had figured out which year he had graduated by looking at his age, though the admission to being a Gryffindor came as no great surprise. The way his chest had swelled before going to answer the question had lead him to believe he had been in the house of the lion - Ralph and Eliza had a habit of doing that when they were particularly pleased with themselves. The whole sorting process was a psychological affair, and Dedalus had actually written a thesis on the subject back when he was still in school to be a healer - he had titled it 'The Inner Workings of a Mind with no Brain'.
He listened to Jake go on with what he was saying, though he tried not to make his feelings about what he was saying too obvious. What the auror standing before him didn't know was that the healer he was speaking to had actually clocked some field time of his own, so to speak, long before the earthquake had happened. He had been there, trying to help as many people as he could. It was strange to think they had been in the same place at the same time all those years ago.
When he stopped speaking, Dedalus had reason to believe it was because his pride was keeping him from letting this young healer he had never met know the real reason he was there. He just nodded to show he understood when he explained he had been put behind a desk, just a little over a year after he had first been put into the field. Something had to have happened. Something did happen, but Dedalus just wasn't sure what it was. Yet.
"I imagine being an auror can't be easy. Not that any job is easy of course, though I think it's fair to say that most jobs don't require you to put the lives of others before your own, do they?" The question was rhetorical, though he wasn't just trying to say whatever Jake wanted to hear to make him feel more comfortable. He very well could have, but Dedalus had met several aurors during his years of being in the order. They were probably the most selfless people he had ever met, and he truly did admire them greatly.
"I'm going to be straight with you," he started, leaning forward on the stool so that his elbows were resting against his thighs, his fingers lacing together. "This trial...it won't be easy." He let that sink in for a moment before continuing. "As an auror, I'm sure you're familiar with legilimency." Once this information was confirmed, Dedalus gave a nod of his head and proceeded. "I would be implementing legilimency into a psychological evaluation, should you agree to participate. You would be allowing me to access certain memories...certain feelings. My hope is to be as noninvasive as possible, though as I'm sure you understand, the entire practice is rather...invasive." He scratched at the back of his neck and then straightened up, looking over at the tall auror.
"I'd like you to look over the work I've put into this, before you make your decision." With that he reached into his front pocket and pulled out a pamphlet, handing it over to Jake before taking a step back to give him some space.
Jake flipped through the pamphlet, scanning over the details of what the healer planned on doing. It was surprising, but it made sense. If it made sense, though, why was his head beginning to pound so heavily? Jake knew that...he knew that he had been different, he had accepted that, but....it almost felt as if he were going blind when he tried to think of why he was not the same person that had entered the auror program. A dark cloud shrouded the sections of his memories that brought him pain and----maybe this cloud was also affecting other aspects of his life.
Legilimency, though. This healer planned to read his mind? Jake felt queasy, almost angry at the idea. William was always ragging on him to talk, just talk and tell him what was on his mind, and this healer...just wanted to go and poke around. There were thoughts that Jake never wanted to share, not with anyone, no one, so...
He pressed his thumb in between his eyes to try and ebb away the headache that was starting. It always happened when people, like his brother or his parents, tried to probe more than he was ready for. The healer hadn’t asked for much, yet, but the idea that he would...
“I don’t----” he started, but then stopped abruptly as his eyes landed on a generic poster over the healer’s shoulder. It was just a picture of a family, going on about making sure they had their dragon pox viruses. The family, a father, a mother, and a child. This family looked happy and well. Jake wanted that. He wanted to be happy and well. He hadn’t smiled like the man in the poster in years.
“I’ll do it,” he said with a quick nod, handing the pamphlet back to the healer, but then pulling it back quickly to himself. “I need to show my brother----but I’ll do it.”
Dedalus’ brows shot into his brow line when he finally agreed. “You will?” He asked, to make sure that was the decision he really wanted to make, but before the auror had time to really think about all the reasons he might not want to go through with it, the healer was rising to his feet in an attempt to take the pamphlet that was being handed over to him. His hand retracted as he explained his reasons for holding onto it a little longer, though he gave a nod to show he understood.
“Absolutely. You do have some time to prepare, seeing how we won’t begin until next week. I’ll likely begin with meetings here, at the hospital, though I’ve come to find people are often more willing to let their minds relax when in the comfort of their own homes. We can discuss whether or not you’d prefer me to make home visits during our first session here, but for now I’d like you to just make sure you get as much rest as you can before we begin.” He paused for a moment, and looked over at him.
“While we’re on the subject...do you have trouble sleeping?” He didn’t even need to be poking around in his head to know he did - his eyes said everything. “I may be able to give you something that could help, while you’re here. I mean, if you do. Have trouble sleeping, that is.”
