Who: Haterade and Honeybadger
What: Words.
When: Monday Night (its totes monday here)
Where: Thomas' House




Kendall had always prided himself in being honest. Being honest and not hiding things from his friends, but in this very instance he was contemplating just that. Honesty was what got him in this situation in the first place. His utter need to tell the truth damned the consequences had him packing his bag and ready to go spend Christmas in Falmouth of all places. His mother floo’ed to see if he was coming over just like she did every year only a few hours after he had gotten home from Mungo’s. Kendall had agreed instantly, forgetting that this would be the first time he went home for the holidays since he left the Falcons five years ago.

Yet he had to go. He couldn’t spend it with Thomas and Rose. Not now, when he had yet to figure out what it all meant. The kiss that had come out of no where. The feelings, he wasn’t even sure how to define. It had to be love, right? Everything would make so much more sense with that reasoning. Otherwise, well, otherwise he was just a prick and not a friend at all with the things he had done. What he needed was distance, yet disappearing from Rose usually had the unfortunate consequence of having to avoid Thomas as well.

What good would it do to tell Thomas anyways? He had far more important things on his mind and no time to deal with another one of Kendall’s dilemmas. Rose wouldn’t say anything, that was for sure. So if Kendall kept his mouth shut, he would never know. Except he would, eventually. Thomas was not dumb, and the inevitable awkwardness to come would not go unnoticed. Not to mention this all happened in Mungo’s, it would be a miracle if it didn’t end up in the next issue of the Tattler.

Kendall found himself laying flat on his back in the center of the pitch he helped build staring at the sky the night before Christmas Eve. He could feel the snow coming, just in time for Christmas. He had made it this far, bag and gifts in hand, before panicking and second guessing his decision. The sound of footsteps pulled Kendall from his thoughts. No more avoiding it now. “I was on my way in.” He lied looking back to Thomas. “Just got distracted by the stars. I brought by your Christmas presents.”

Thomas looked down skeptically at Kendall, arms crossed because of the cold. The wards had alerted him that someone was in the pitch, but as the person hadn’t been zapped for intruding, he’d known it was someone he knew. Kendall had been noticeably missing from the hospital these past few days, even though it was more of Rose’s avoidance of the subject that had tipped Thomas off. Whatever fight his two best friends had had this time, Thomas wasn’t necessarily interested in getting into the middle of it.

But, that wasn’t fair, right? Rose and Kendall had been more than supportive of him since Alice was born and save for a few frantic conversations, things had gone as best as they could in the muddled situation. So, Thomas stood there, unwilling to lie in the grass, but having made sure to wear gloves and a hat so he could manage the cold.

“Why are you bringing them today?” he asked. He, Kendall, and Rose always managed a Christmas Day celebration as most of their ties with their families were strained. Thomas hadn’t been expecting either of them until Wednesday, actually, and looked over his shoulder at the house before turning back to Kendall. “You’re a little early.”

“I’m going home.” Kendall said closing his eyes unable to look at Thomas, or even the sky as he said it. He still almost couldn’t believe the words as they left his mouth. “For Christmas, I’m sort of just stopping by on my way out?” He sat up revealing the bag he had been using as a pillow on the ground.

Thomas would never take it at face value. Kendall ran his hands over his face before finally looking up to Thomas. What could he say. I’m running off because I kissed Rose and confessed a love that I’m not sure of, but don’t worry she shot me down. Sorry instead of being here for you on Christmas, I’m going to run off to avoid the awkwardness.

“Sorry. I know its our tradition, misfits Christmas and all, but,” he barely let the words out smoothly. He couldn’t do it. Kendall couldn’t spend Christmas with Rose, he couldn’t tell Thomas why. The words got stuck in his throat at every attempt and he hoped beyond anything that his friend would not be able to tell he was pretty much lying to his face with excuses. Kendall didn’t want to ruin Christmas. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship. But he didn’t know where to go from here either. “Its--its been five years so-- How was I suppose to say no?”

Thomas nodded. He didn’t need more on an explanation than that, though it was hard to believe. He wasn’t going to argue about spending time with family. Even his sister was getting into the holiday spirit, and to Thomas it felt like more than just a publicity stunt. She had visited him at St. Mungo’s on her own, without any cameras, and they’d had what had to be their first conversation outside of quidditch in years. Maybe the Broadmoors were anxious to see their son; Kendall had had a busy year.

“Come inside,” he said, “It’s far too cold, and I’ve got tea on.”

As was his nature, Thomas tended to observe rather than to poke and prod. If Kendall wanted to explain what had happened, he’d do it, though as they made their way back to the house, Thomas did note that usually, he’d have heard both sides of the argument by now. Kendall would stalk across the room and Rose’s voice would hit undecipherable pitches. This silence concerned him, but perhaps they were both trying to save face for the holidays. Or they didn’t want to throw something on top of him. The monster of guilt in his chest twisted at the thought.

Kendall trailed behind Thomas silently as thoughts raced through his head. It wasn’t until they were standing in Thomas’ kitchen that Kendall spoke up again. “I’ll probably stay for New Years too.” he said quietly, getting the feeling that once he was out of town that he wouldn’t be back for some time. He didn’t want Thomas to feel like he was abandoning him now that he was trying to figure parenthood all on his own.

He looked up to catch his gaze, there was no way Thomas didn’t know something was up. He was most likely giving Kendall the opportunity to tell him in his own time, or not at all. And if the next sentence out of his mouth was that he was planning a vacation after that, it would be beyond clear that he was running. This was his out and he really should just take it.

“Actually. I just-- There is--” Kendall fumbled over his words placing the wrapped parcels on the counter. Two for Thomas, one for Alice. He hoped it didn’t sound like he was bailing on Thomas, that was the last thing that he wanted his friend to think. “Just owl me if you need me. I’m still here to help, I just need to get out of here for a while.” He shrugged his shoulder slightly.

It must have been a really bad fight. Thomas attempted to keep a straight face as Kendall stuttered, eyeing the gifts. It always seemed like the last place Kendall would want to be was in Falmouth, so to want to spend what was supposed to be the happiest time of the year in a place that was only filled with tension and pressure, it didn’t make sense.

“Well, then I should probably give you your gift too,” Thomas said, not having taken a seat in the kitchen. Once again, he motioned for Kendall to follow him, and headed toward his bedroom. It seemed like the rest of the house had been completely forgotten, as for the past almost month he had gone straight from bed to the hospital. Hopefully that was going to change. The door was shut, and Thomas put a finger to his lips to keep Kendall quiet as he opened the door. He smiled at the sound of the soft lullabies playing from the mobile over his daughter’s crib, keeping her in a peaceful sleep.

“We just got home an hour ago,” he said. Her recovery at St. Mungo’s had gone much faster than it would’ve in the muggle hospital, and Thomas couldn’t thank the staff enough. “Supposed to be a Christmas surprise.” He walked to the crib and leaned on the bars, beckoning Kendall to come over.

“Go home if you have to,” Thomas said, choosing his words wisely, “but I’d really hate it if you missed her first Christmas.”

Kendall froze in the doorway unable to enter the room knowing exactly what was going to happen next. Alice wasn’t suppose to be home yet. That was-- this wasn’t fair. As soon as he saw that baby in the crib he would melt and not be able to leave to spend Christmas with the family he didn’t really want. His feet moved the second Thomas gestured him over, and his heart clenched in his chest at Thomas’ words. Of course Thomas would find the one possible thing that would make him stay. Or at the very least break his heart when he decided he had to go.

His hands clenched the sides of the crib. “I can’t,” he croaked quietly unsure of what exactly he was referring to. He couldn’t miss his goddaughter’s first Christmas. He couldn’t face Rose again so soon, yet he couldn’t see a way of doing one without doing the other. His eyes were trained on the little girl in the crib. She deserved nothing more than love and happiness and doting attention. And it was beyond incredibly selfish of Kendall to think of himself first.

“I want to be here Thomas, more than anything else, I want to spend Christmas with you and Alice but--” Thomas had to know, he had to know that Kendall didn’t want to choose Falmouth over here, the family that didn’t support him over the one that did. “I just-- I can’t--” he ran his hand over his face. The was no way he could hide this anymore. “I kissed Rose. At Mungo’s last week. Things were said and now I just can’t--- I’m not ready to face that yet.”

“You what?”

Thomas blinked, the sounds of the mobile going silent in his ears. He studied Kendall carefully, trying to find any sign that he was joking, that he was teasing or covering up the real truth. But his friend looked honestly torn and---heartbroken. Thomas’ eyes widened in disbelief and without hesitation reached out and grabbed Kendall’s arm, dragging him out of the room and into the hallway. Once the door was shut he whirled on him.

“You did what?”

It made absolutely no sense, why on earth would Kendall kiss Rose? Rose? Was he sure that---had he been drugged? Was he hallucinating? Rose was---Thomas of course had a history with Rose, they’d never truly resolved those feelings, but they were adults, they could handle...so what on earth was Kendall doing kissing her? He knew she was with Brookstanton, so why---?

“Why would you---Kendall,” Thomas’ voice took on the tone he often used at practice, when the girls were losing focus, “What the hell is going on?”

He should have just left. Kendall wasn’t ready for this, of course he knew this was going to be how it went down once he told Thomas. Not one bit surprised to be physically pulled from the room once Thomas saw the direction the conversation was taking. But now he was asking all these questions that he didn’t know the answer to.

“I don’t know!” he let out finally throwing his arms up, nothing else to say. He hadn’t a single clue what was going on. Why else would he be running off right before Christmas. He needed a chance to figure it all out. He cover his face while he scrambled for some sort of answer that made sense, just wanting to hide from this whole situation. Stopping to take a deep breath, he took his hands away from his face. He could look at Thomas. Looking Thomas in the eye was the very least he could do.

“I don’t know. We were fighting and I thought I was going to throttle her because she was just being so frustrating and just didn’t get it, just like always.. Next thing I know I’m kissing her and she’s asking what it means and I didn’t know. I still haven’t figured it out.” There. Done, it was all said and out there and all Kendall could do now was wait for the fall out. Running his hand over the top of his head, he finally looked away from Thomas. “It would make sense though,” he started, talking almost to himself. “It has to with the things I’ve done I’m either a real shit friend, or it means something else.”

“It would...make sense?” Thomas repeated, completely and utterly flabbergasted. “It---it makes no sense!”

What was Kendall even saying? The things he’d done, what...what things? He...Thomas recalled the incident last year with Kendall insinuating that he and Rose were more than just friends, the whole debacle with Pepper...His face screwed up in confusion. Kendall had been far more upset about Brookstanton than Thomas had been, and Brookstanton was the bloke that had broken up his engagement. As much as it didn’t make sense, it seemed to grow clearer and clearer with each passing second. He stood, stunned, unsure of what to say. It had been years since he’d thought of Rose in any other way than a sister and it seemed like their little trio had finally settled.

Thomas looked back at Kendall, a flash of anger cutting across his face.

“How could you do that to her?” he asked lowly. “How could you put her in such a spot when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing?”

Kendall stood a bit straighter at Thomas' words. 'How could he do that to her'. Like this was some sort of planned vicious attack. Like Kendall set out to ruin things. He pursed his lips to prevent himself from saying something he would regret. Thomas had every right to be mad, he just didn't expect his friend to think this of him.

He had no defense though. It was true, he had put Rose in a spot whether or not he intended to. He just got caught up in the moment and had spent the every moment since then trying to catch up. “Well. It doesn’t matter.” Kendall said sounding every bit as defeated as he felt. “Rose was very clear on how she feels. I know it was a mistake, figured that out very quickly.”

He swallowed thickly, keeping his eyes clear of Thomas. “So it doesn’t matter if I think that I may love her. All that matters is that I put the people I care about in an awful spot for nothing.” Kendall felt gutted standing here talking to Thomas. This was almost worse than Rose saying ‘I can’t do this’. Almost. “The best thing for me to do is just go to Falmouth for Christmas. Give her some space.”

Love?

He couldn’t help himself, Thomas let out a laugh. A humorless, strained laugh. Kendall didn’t love Rose, he couldn’t.

“Stop, stop, just stop,” he said, shaking his head and putting his hand out. “You can’t try and make me feel bad for you when---she’s got a boyfriend, and you just up and...Kendall!” Thomas explained, exasperated, “You can’t just keep doing whatever the fuck you feel like! You say the first thing that comes to mind and fuck all else! You’re not allowed a pity party, it--you fucked up!”

Even if there was some chance that Kendall actually did feel something for Rose, it---Rose had never given him the impression of anything other than friendship. Was that harsh? Thomas would’ve noticed. What did Kendall think was going to happen? That...that Rose would completely drop Brookstanton and fall into his arms? What happened then? He’d actually have to deal with his feelings? These feelings that had seemingly sprouted from nowhere? You didn’t hold grudges for months with someone you were in love with! It wasn’t possible! They weren’t first years, they didn’t pull girls’ pigtails because they fancied them.

“Fuck, Kendall!” Thomas said, then lowering his voice; he had no idea if Alice could hear them, and if she could if she’d know that he’d said a swear word. “Space isn’t going to change things, she--you’ve got to--fuck!” He shoved his friend in the shoulder, unsure of what else to say.

“Try to make you feel bad for me? Is that what you think this is?” Kendall demanded swating Thomas’ arm away. He knew that his friend would be upset, but this. This felt like a personal attack. The laugh. The utter disbelief that it was possible for him to love Rose. Kendall could clearly see it on his face. You can’t just keep doing whatever the fuck you like. The words echoed in his ears. While he may have a habit of saying things he shouldn’t, that didn’t mean he said things he didn’t mean.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do now. Obviously you think this is just a passing whimsy, glad to know where my feelings stand in your opinion.” Kendall was tired and exhausted. He never wanted any of this. He owed Rose an apology, yes. His timing was shit, also true. But to imply all of this was just-- just him being rude and inconsiderate, that was too much. Kendall wasn’t going to stand around and take the attack.

He shook his head. Space wasn’t going to change anything, but time was would definitely allow things to cool down. He turned to make his way back down the hall to grab his bag he left in the kitchen. Thomas almost had him convinced to stay for Christmas, but now going to Falmouth seemed like the best option. Hoisting his bag over his shoulder he turned back to where Thomas had inevitably followed him. “I think I should just go. Have a Happy Christmas.”

Thomas let his head drop back in frustration. This was not the fight he had been expecting at all. Normally he was able to stay pretty neutral during Rose and Kendall’s tiffs, but he couldn’t find it in himself to try and see Kendall’s point of view. It was just so preposterous! It was just---it made such little sense! He let out a breath, following Kendall.

“Kendall, I--” He didn’t want his friend to leave, not like this. Even if Thomas didn’t really think that Kendall’s feelings were what he thought they were, they were obviously bothering him. He was obviously feeling something. “I shouldn’t have---but, you’ve got to realize---”

What? What did he have to realize? That Rose didn’t love him in that way? Thomas didn’t want to speak for her, but he was certain...but really, what the hell did he know, these days? He’d thought that keeping his pregnant girlfriend a secret for months had been a good idea. Who was he to really judge on rash decisions?

“Running away’s just going to make it worse,” Thomas finally settled on, shoulder slumping in defeat. “Come for Christmas, yeah? For the morning, I’ve got Alice this little dress and---we’ll be fine. Everything will be fine.”

That seemed to be his mantra, these days. It was amazing how quickly he’d had to be the shoulder to lean on for his friends. Why did the holiday season always bring on such unwelcoming feelings and situations?

Kendall froze at the door bristling. He had to realize what? That he was being dumb. That his feelings weren’t-- He spun on his heel to give Thomas a piece of his mind when he was told to stay. Everything wouldn’t be fine, but at least Thomas still wanted him to stay after all. Even if it would make everything a bit awkward, at least he’d still have Christmas with the people who really mattered in his life. “Fine. Okay.” He said letting his bag drop to the floor.

Thomas was right though, running wouldn’t make anything better. “I’m staying here though, I’m sure a howler is showing up at my house in the morning when I don’t show up to my parents. And they don’t know where you live.”