rp log: jamie and malcolm
WHO: Jamie Dodderidge and Malcolm Brown
WHAT: Playing with toys.
WHERE: Malcolm's flat, Sunday afternoon
RATING: PG
Jamie sat on the floor in front of the sofa in Malcolm's flat, a look of utter concentration on his face. He had absolutely no idea what the point in this stupid paddle with the stupid ball attached to it was except to annoy him to no end, but he was determined to get it to work for him. He could have easily used magic to make it work, but then that was cheating, and he wanted to get this on his own. More than once already he'd been tempted to chuck it across the room, and the only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that this was not his flat and that he did not want to look like he was having a temper tantrum when he was merely frustrated. No way was he letting someone who didn't treat him like a child see him behaving as such, even if he knew he wasn't the only adult in the world who got frustrated and tossed things aside because of that frustration.
This was why Jamie didn't play sports. He had all the motor skills needed for painting and drawing and playing an instrument, but he had none for things like hitting balls with paddles. And in this case it was made easier since the ball was on a stupid string and wouldn't be going anywhere, and still he couldn't manage it! And he didn't even want to think about that jacks game Malcolm had given him. He could bounce the ball and catch it, and he could pick up the jacks, but doing them both with the same hand seemed beyond his abilities. It made him feel slightly pathetic, and he set the paddleball down. He massages his wrist a bit, wondering briefly if this wasn't some kind of secret torture instrument Muggles used on their children when they misbehaved.
Malcolm played with the ring puzzle, not really interested in figuring it out. It was five silver rings and one golden ring all tangled together with some rope, and the point was to get the golden ring off. But he was more amused with the expressions on Jamie's face and really, he was letting himself get far,
far too attached to Jamie in this way. They were just supposed to be friends, but Jamie's smile made his heart melt and he really,
genuinely liked being around him. He stretched out a little on his couch, pulling up the side cushion to rest his head on and just watched Jamie try to play with that paddle.
"Have you had enough?" Malcolm asked with an amused smile, "That looks hard and it had Whit going for like an hour. He nearly broke it trying to throw it across the room in anger. Harper's head saved it though."
"For the moment, but I'll figure it out," Jamie informed Malcolm, glancing up at him with the ring puzzle thing.
That thing he'd figured out easily. Puzzles weren't really all that hard for him, though. But stupid bouncing balls on stupid strings connected to stupid wooden paddles seemed far beyond his abilities. He rotated his wrist a bit and massaged it again. "Clearly Whit had the right idea with this throwing thing," he said, wondering if the ball would burn or explode if he threw it in the fireplace when he got home and set it ablaze. That would definitely show it who was in charge, even if he really was no closer to being able to actually play with it like the makers had intended.
"For the moment, but I'll figure it out," Jamie informed Malcolm, glancing up at him with the ring puzzle thing.
That thing he'd figured out easily. Puzzles weren't really all that hard for him, though. But stupid bouncing balls on stupid strings connected to stupid wooden paddles seemed far beyond his abilities. He rotated his wrist a bit and massaged it again. "Clearly Whit had the right idea with this throwing thing," he said, wondering if the ball would burn or explode if he threw it in the fireplace when he got home and set it ablaze. That would definitely show it who was in charge, even if he really was no closer to being able to actually play with it like the makers had intended.
Jamie sat next to Malcolm, watching his thumbs on his wrist a moment. "Or I'd watch him figure it out quickly and rub it in my face somehow." He didn't really know if Moses would do either, but, right then, he sort of thought he might. "And no, I don't think I even know what ping pong is to know how to play it. But I do know this whole hitting balls with paddles thing is far beyond my abilities. That's one very important reason why I am not very good at Quidditch. Flying and swinging a bat and hitting a ball all at once does not happen with me. Flying and catching and tossing is hard enough. Actually having to do it in a competitive way? Not happening," he said, shaking his head lightly.
"Well, then it would be a testament to your brain power then. It's an idiot's toy," Malcolm said with a slightly teasing smile, "That you're too smart to make it work, yet an idiot can pick it up and play it. Like, you're a complex thinker and all of that. And I'll show you ping-pong, it's hitting balls with paddles, but it's a lot more fun than one attached. You have a table and its two people. Kind of like beater practice, but you stand still and just bat it back and forth. It's better if you're drinking and having fun, and not being competitive."
Malcolm continued to rub Jamie's wrist and hand lightly, trying to make it seem like he was actually being helpful, but really just enjoying the fact that Jamie was so close. "I like being competitive sometimes. I can't help it with the family I grew up in, but I think there's a time and a place for it."
Jamie wasn't so sure he believed Malcolm about it being an idiot's toy and a testament to his brainpower. However, he didn't dispute it, instead thinking about ping-pong. It sounded sort of stupid to him, but he didn't let that show on his face. Plus, he really doubted he'd be good at something like ping pong, though it was nice of Malcolm to offer to show him. He'd probably take him up on it, too, if only just to do something to alleviate potential boredom in the future.
"Sometimes being competitive comes in handy. Assertiveness isn't a bad quality, after all," he said as he watched Malcolm rub his wrist and hand. "You'll have to do the other one next. It's going to get jealous of the lack of attention." He smirked, looking up at Malcolm to show he was essentially joking. It did feel good, though, but that was beside the point really.
Malcolm glanced over and smiled at Jamie a touch shyly. "I like it when people are assertive with what they want. Not bossy, but with my work it helps keep things less confused. I like it in my friends as well, not too much, but enough that I don't have to dig around to find out that something is wrong. Don't take it wrong, I like talking to someone and giving advice and listening to people, I just don't like that whole 'what's wrong?' 'oh nothing' when there's clearly something wrong. I mean," Malcolm shrugged, taking Jamie's other hand without even thinking about it and rubbing it carefully, "If they don't want to talk about it, then fine, but that whole 'I am sad, but don't ask me' routine is horrible."
He didn't want to sound like he was a complete berk, but this was how he saw things. "I'm not really an arse, I just don't have a lot of patience for whining or confusion I guess," Malcolm shrugged a little and glanced over at Jamie again.
"I don't like passive-aggression. I'm probably guilty of it, though. Not deliberately. Just without meaning to or just backing down quickly because I don't want things to escalate unnecessarily. Of course, it seems when I do that, things still escalate. But I don't do that thing where I get people to ask me what's wrong only to say nothing but still mope. Well, I don't think I do it. If I have, it wasn't consciously, and I won't dance around in the state of sadness and pity without saying anything. I'll just say I don't want to talk, maybe sulk privately a bit, and then either get over it or come back and talk about it when I'm ready." Jamie pursed his lips slightly in thought. "Whining is annoying, but sometimes... sometimes you need to whine and vent a little," he said, watching Malcolm's hands and making a few mental notes. "Sometimes it helps get things out of your system and help you feel better if you can whine a little to someone."
"I think everyone can be passive aggressive sometimes, but I do hate it when people are that way all the time. Just come out and say it, you know? Be real and all that," Malcolm said, nodding seriously. "I haven't seen you be too much of a moper and even in the hospital you were quite a trooper about it. Didn't fuss very much, but I wasn't there
all of the time so I can't say what you did around your mum," Malcolm teased, leaning on Jamie just a little.
Malcolm nodded, "But there's a fine line between whining and being a whiner. If you're constantly doing it, then well, you're a whiner. Just get up and do something about it, instead of just complaining."
"I think at some point I actually attempted to stage a coup. No one else was really with me on that, though." Jamie smiled to himself at the thought. "I think the staff appreciated that no one else was having the same thoughts as me. But then, I really don't like hospitals." He sunk back into the sofa, sighing a little and closing his eyes.
This was really nice. Had he honestly just been frustrated over a stupid toy? Really? That seemed ridiculous now. He leaned a little back onto Malcolm. "You're good with your hands," he said softly, opening his eyes a little to watch Malcolm's hands once more.
Malcolm nodded and smiled, closing his eyes slightly at the feel of Jamie pressed against him. He was the worst friend in the world, because he'd promised to just be Jamie's friend and he was
trying so hard to keep that promise, but he couldn't stop the way his stomach did flip flops when Jamie did cute things like this. He bit his lip and forced himself to open his eyes and concentrate on being a friend and not a dirty old man.
"Well, staging a coup is better than not doing anything at all, though I would've liked to see that headline.'Halucinating Patients Break Out!'" Malcolm laughed lightly, rubbing Jamie's fingers lightly, going to the end of the tip and working the pad of the finger. "And thanks. I love giving massages. Its just kind of a thing for me, I guess."
"I was
not hallucinating," Jamie sound, mocking defensiveness and nudging Malcolm gently with his elbow. "Their potions really weren't working. I don't believe in that whole you have to get worse before you get better nonsense." He nodded once and then let himself slip down a little, getting more comfortable.
"People neglect their hands. They do all this work, but they don't seem to get the right amount of attention. Same with feet. You walk around on them all day, and they get ignored. I guess that's why girls get manicures and pedicures." He sighed a little and closed his eyes again.
"You were pretty loopy then," Malcolm laughed a little, nudging Jamie back lightly; "I know their potions weren't working, but I think that was the virus. Magical stuff made it worse," Malcolm said, remembering what he'd read in an article when the virus cure came out. He didn't know anything about potions or healing really, other than the little things you learned for first aid.
Malcolm moved his hand up to Jamie's neck, rubbing it lightly and looking at Jamie for permission, "I can rub your neck and shoulders too. You look like you're going to melt into a puddle. And yes, but boys can get manicures and pedicures too. What do you think models do to keep their hands looking so nice?"
"That would be nice," Jamie said, taking a few moments to sit up and turn around so his back faced Malcolm. "And I've never looked at male models if you don't count people in drawing class. And then it's not the same. They aren't there to look their best and show clothes off. They're there to look natural." He left out the part where it seemed weird to him that some blokes got manicures and pedicures. He thought Malcolm might be one of them, and he didn't want to offend him just because it seemed sort of girly to him. Especially as he didn't think Malcolm was really girly or anything. It was just one of those things he found weird was all.
Malcolm shifted too, bending one leg and bringing it onto the couch behind Jamie and sitting up a little, starting with his hands on the base of Jamie's skull to start a scalp massage. "This'll do for your head and shoulders, but for your back I'll have you lay out on the couch, it's easier and feels better too," Malcolm said as he ran his fingers through Jamie's hair, rubbing along the scalp lightly. He ignored the comment about not looking at male models, mostly because it threw Malcolm back into sharp reality, the true reality where Jamie is straight and Malcolm couldn't have him except for what he managed to steal like this and keep for himself. "You carry a lot of stress in your shoulders and neck. Plus, you're a waiter, so I imagine all the tray lifting and all that gets to you."
"Mkay," Jamie said, letting himself relax into the massage. Whenever Malcolm told him to lie down, he would. of the two of them, Malcolm seemed to know far more about massages than he did. "And yeah, I do. And my upper back." He sighed again." And yes it does. Lifting trays and running around the Leaky. All day on my feet. Though one good thing about being sick is I got a lot of rest, even if it made me restless." He smiled to himself a little and leaned his head back into Malcolm's hand.
Malcolm rubbed Jamie's head and his temples, working his way down Jamie's neck, making sure to get behind his ears and working the tense muscles at the base of his skull and a long the sides of his neck, using his thumbs to provide the most pressure. "Tell me if I am too hard or too soft. Mostly I'm just working the kinks right now and even if it might not feel all that great, it will later."
He nodded even though Jamie couldn't see him, "I'm glad you got rest and that you're all better. It's good to see you up and about, even though I totally would've used one of our escape plans to break you out if you'd asked me to."
"No, it feels great just like that," Jamie said. Then he chuckled a little. "We might still have to use one of those escape plans, even if it's just because and to see how it will work when put into action. And I still have to make you chocolate chip pancakes. They taste even better for dinner, so I'll have to make them for you for dinner some time." He nodded a little, liking his idea to make pancakes for dinner for Malcolm. And Malcolm had been nice enough to make dinner for him, so it only seemed right Jamie should do something similar in return, especially as Malcolm was incredibly nice and a good friend and person to him.
"Okay, good," Malcolm said, frowning in concentration as he continued to work the muscles and resist the urge to kiss the back of Jamie's neck. It was
right there, only it would be so inappropriate and Jamie would probably hit him and their friendship would be over. He was the one who decided that he could do this, that he could be Jamie's friend and only his friend. He was probably the stupidest person on earth, to get himself stuck in this situation.
"You don't have to make me pancakes, though I do love breakfast for dinner," Malcolm said with a laugh, "And for us to use those plans, you'd have to go back to the hospital and pretend you were sick."
"Mm, maybe not, but I want to. And you didn't have to visit me when I was sick or buy me those toys or do anything else you've done. Yet you did. So let me make dinner for you some time." Jamie nodded again, letting his head bow forward.
"And I was thinking one of the plans for breaking me out of the house, actually. Maybe I'll make a grand exit that way when I finally leave home. One that won't make me regret it should I need to come home." How embarrassing would that be? No. He wouldn't be an idiot when he left, though he may have to make some kind of show of leaving just to drive in that he was indeed leaving. He yawned, thinking all these active thoughts and this massage were making him sleepy.
"Okay, then you can surprise me sometime," Malcolm said, genially, rubbing Jamie's neck some more and taking in the view of a pliable and sleepy Jamie in his hands. It was absolutely killing him and there was no other way to deal with it than just bury it. Being a friend was more important than his personal needs. Malcolm shifted off the couch, keeping one hand on the back of Jamie's neck just in case he was going to tumble backward. "Okay, lean back and then roll over, I'll get to your shoulders and back. Unless you think a pillow on the floor would be more comfortable.
Malcolm rubbed his own hands, fidgeting a little as he waited for Jamie to organize himself. "I don't think you need to escape to move out of your house. I think if you present the idea to them in a logical and organized way, they'll let you. Your brothers don't live at home anymore, right? And maybe you want to do it before your sister comes home, she seems the most likely to um, guilt trip you into staying. At least, from what I've seen." Malcolm didn't want to make judgments on Jamie's family, because he actually really liked the Dodderidges, they were funny and nice, and he didn't want Jamie to think he was trying to characterize his family.
After a few moments of consideration, Jamie grabbed a pillow and moved to the floor. He stretched out on his stomach with another yawn and rested his head on the pillow, making himself comfortable. "Let? I'm twenty. They can't keep me," he said but without any fight or indignation. They couldn't so far as he could tell. If he wanted to leave, he could leave. He had money (years and years of saving paid off). He just needed a place, and he was very close to having one. He just had to narrow it down mostly, determine which the best investment was for the amount he could pay.
"I meant let as in let without the hassle and guilt, you know," Malcolm said, an amused smile on his face as he mentally prepared himself for what he was going to do. He knelt down, one knee on either side of Jamie's hips and made sure Jamie was comfortable before returning to massaging Jamie's neck, moving his hands down his shoulders, starting to work the left side first. "Have you decided on a place yet? My offer still stands, if you need a place and can't find one you love," Malcolm said, hoping it came off as nonchalant as he'd intended, referring to the letter he'd stuck in a care package for Jamie after he'd gotten out of the hospital, offering the other man his spare bedroom, just in case.
"Not yet. Just weighing the pros and cons and things," Jamie said. He'd thought about Malcolm's offer, but part of him just wasn't sure he could do that. He'd feel rather guilty knowing Malcolm fancied him while living down the hall. He didn't want to do that to him. Not when he was such a nice bloke, and not when he was pretty sure, on some level, massages and all this hanging out and things probably weren't the best ideas. He wondered how big of a selfish asshole he was and how much bigger he could get.
"But I've got it narrowed down, so I'm not weighing the pros and cons of all the places. Just a few," he added, sighing both from the massage and from his thoughts. He really was an asshole, wasn't he?
"I liked the one with the big outside area. Even with out winters, it seemed like the most open area, you know? We can set it up so you have wards that block out the weather, but to the outside, and to muggles, it matches the weather, without actually having to deal with rain or snow," Malcolm explained slowly, as he continued the massage down Jamie's back and sides. He honestly felt that Jamie
could come live with him and not have feelings for him. It would be definitely a hands-off-forever kind of thing. But it was up to Jamie, really. "But that's good, doing the pros and cons, you know. Very practical."
"I liked that one, too. And that sounds really nice about the wards," Jamie said with another yawn. "And I try to be practical. Doesn't always work, but I try at least." He would have nodded, but he was a bit too comfortable right then to bother with lifting himself up and then doing that. So instead he tried to focus on the flats he had narrowed it down to and which one would really be best. However, he was having a hard time doing that as his mind relaxed with the massage.. It didn't want to do such heavy thinking, and it reasoned he couldn't properly do this now anyway because his lists were at home. Jamie had to agree, and he closed his eyes.
"Mmmhm," Malcolm said quietly as he rubbed Jamie's lower back, working on specific knots and trying to be as gentle as possible with the most effectiveness without waking Jamie up, since he seemed quite ready to fall asleep. "You can sleep, here," Malcolm said, smoothing down Jamie's shirt and grabbed a pillow off of the couch. He set it down next to Jamie's head and move to lie on his side next to him, still running his hand down Jamie's back lightly and soothingly. He could spend the rest of the evening here, just watching Jamie nap.
"Ok," Jamie said softly, yawning. He shifted a little on the floor to get more comfortable. He let his mind slip into unconsciousness, forgetting about flats and families and stupid paddles with balls attached to them. He sighed again, making a slight noise as he fully settled into what he vaguely thought was a much-needed nap.
