Who: Ralph Merridew Frobisher, Miranda Dodderidge
What: Goodbyes :(
Where: The Leaky Cauldron
When: Closing time?



Ralph had been standing near the door out of sight for a good ten minutes now. Frank had already shuffled past him just as they had discussed to a table near the muggle side window, but Alice still waited patiently near him, obviously not leaving until he moved. Not in a pressured sort of way, just... waiting with him with invisibility cloak in hand.

A month ago, Ralph would have never believed everything that had happened to him in the past two weeks would actually occur; his life had never been important enough to enjoy the luxury of drama. But, now? He might as well be the bloody King of England, because he was fairly certain no one else had gone through as much shit as he had.

She had walked over to Frank now, and was talking to him very adamantly.

Miranda. Frank and Alice had said that this would be for the best. But how in the world did they think he would be able to do this? And in the Leaky of all places?

Everything just seemed--- like a nightmare. Like an out of control nightmare that he couldn't wake up out of. He couldn't believe everything that had happened so quickly in the past few weeks. House burned down (which he barely lived through), officially declared missing, basically taken underground, parents hidden away safely in Scotland, no contact with any of his friends besides Dedalus, the Longbottoms strangely becoming something of parental figures to him, black hair, and not to mention, to top it all off, new name.

A new name. It--- he couldn't do this. Yet he was unable to take his eyes off of her. Ralph wanted more than anything to walk over to Miranda, to talk to her and touch her, but it felt like he couldn't; his feet were plastered to the ground just as much as his eyes were glued to her. It was only until he felt Alice lightly pat him on the shoulder that he seemed able to move. "Go on," she supplied to him gently, a warm smile on her face as she pushed him carefully forward.

He--- had to do this. It would be--- for the best? Childishly, Ralph looked over his shoulder sending a small frown to Alice. But this wasn't fair. Wordlessly she pushed him forward again with another nod. Surprisingly, his feet began to move and before Ralph knew it he was walking in a direction he longed to and didn't at the same time. And then she was there, right in front of him with her back to him. He spoke quietly, brushing the back of her arm lightly.

"Don't--- scream, okay?"

"But you have to know something, please Frank, please, just----"

Miranda couldn't understand how she hadn't passed out from dehydration, because it seemed like every time she opened her mouth, she cried. She cried, and cried, and cried because it was all she could do. The aurors wouldn't talk to her because she wasn't family, her family would tell her to calm down and believe, and her friends had no idea what to say, so--

--she had all these people around her, surrounded by support and love, but Miranda had never felt more alone in her life.

No one could understand, no one could possibly understand what it was like to have no idea where your loved one was, it hurt her down to her very soul. Miranda felt like she couldn't breath on her own, that she had to stop and think about every breath. Every movement was controlled and forced, and her parents had put her to work to get her out of bed and to give her monotonous duties to take care of and keep her from turning into a vegetable against her pillows.

"Frank, Frank," why wasn't he listening to her? He was an auror, he could help. Miranda tugged on his arm, trying to get him to look her in the eye, but Frank seemed to be watching something behind her. "Frank Longbottom, holy fuck you see your wife every day you can pay attention to a friend in desperate need for one bleeding second---" Someone tugging on her arm, fucking guests, "Excuse me, I'm trying to fucking talk here----"

It was immediate; no hat, no hair dye could stop Miranda from knowing Ralph's face, his voice, his presence. Her mouth was frozen in the shape of the curse word she'd been about to spew at him, and if it wasn't for Frank's grip on her arms she was sure she was going to collapse. He--was---he was---there, unless this---this--

"Er---" She couldn't think of anything to say. This was the greatest moment of her life, and she was absolutely speechless and frozen, and suddenly she was being pushed and her hands grazed his shirt. Miranda let out a high-pitched whine, grabbing hold of the front of his shirt and pulling him toward her, "Ralph--!"

"Hi."

Easily, Ralph's lips twitched into a smile. He was allowed to enjoy this, right? His life hadn't officially changed yet, he still had a few more days of the Wizarding world. Thoughtlessly, Ralph wrapped his arms around Miranda's back, pulling her closely into his chest. It was stupid to think this, because it hadn't been that long, but he was still pleased to find that she hadn't changed a bit. Her hair still smelled like it always had, she was still the same height, her face was the same--- everything was the same as if no time had passed at all.

At least he knew he could always count on Miranda to be a constant staple.

It took Ralph a few minutes to remember that they most likely weren't the only people in the room. Once he finally looked up, he noticed that Frank and Alice had both disappeared, no doubt off waiting in the corners somewhere. Which reminded him that... it would be best if they didn't just stand in the middle of Leaky like this.

"Can I talk to you?" Ralph started gently, ducking his chin to his chest to look down at Miranda carefully. He knew that at this point, she would probably do anything that he asked her to do simply because... well. He wasn't dead, to put it bluntly. While Frank and Alice had not let him buy another journal (because his first one was obviously ash now), they had let him listen to the radio and read the news, even look at some journal entries. "Maybe somewhere quieter? Or..."

He honestly didn't care. If coming out in public was that much of a danger then--- oh well. The odds of anyone that they knew stepping into the Leaky at closing time was slim, so.

She couldn't move away from him. Ralph loosened his embrace to speak but Miranda continued to cling onto him, as if letting go meant he would be pulled away and gone at the blink of the eye. Which--which could definitely be the case, she had no idea what was going on, she didn't know why the Longbottoms were here or why Ralph was just---here. She was glad, of course, she was absolutely mind-numbingly thrilled, but she had no bloody idea what was going on.

"I--" Her voice was shaking, her legs were shaking, her hands were shaking, she couldn't stop the shock that was causing her entire body to lose control. What did he want? Somewhere quieter? Somewhere quieter--Miranda's eyes darted around, and the slight movement of her body caused the keys on her sides to jingle. "Oh--"

Without thinking she grabbed his wrist (ah--) and pulled him away from the sitting area, down the closest hallway of rooms. It was dark, most of the guests were tucking into bed now, but Miranda knew which rooms were empty and which rooms had neighbors and--she stopped abruptly in front of one. She dropped the keys, her hands were shaking so badly, and it took a good minute before she could unlock the door (Ralph's presence at her back making her even more startled and nervous), and finally--it felt like it had taken a century to get into the room, but finally she was able to pull them into the empty room.

Miranda didn't bother lighting the candles, or even moving to sit so that Ralph could explain. Her shaking form didn't waste a second after the door was shut before she launched herself at Ralph, crying all the while she pressed the hardest kiss of her life to his lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck just as tightly---tighter than she'd been holding him before, and Miranda was sure this was what perfect bliss was supposed to feel like.

Even though he could hardly see her, Ralph's hands went right to Miranda's face and he instantly felt sick. She--- was making this very hard on him. And it wasn't her fault, she had no clue about anything in his life right now. He just wished that she was angry with him. Incredibly angry for not contacting her even though he had obviously been perfectly fine for such a long time. Well, for most of the time. Her anger would... just make things easier, and perhaps force the nauseated feeling in his stomach to subside.

He yearned to sit and talk, tell her things, tell her everything that had happened in the past two weeks--- the good, the bad, the hilarious, the downright strange and-- but he couldn't. There wasn't enough time, and Frank and Alice had repeatedly instructed him to tell Miranda as little as possible for her safety. For her safety, because-- but he knew she wouldn't understand. He hardly understood all of this, any of what was really happening, so why should she? Nothing made sense.

This was--- he shouldn't lead her on like this. Because if they--- things were not right enough for them to just meet and forget everything that had happened and to go on like nothing had changed. Because so much had changed, in such a short time and---

"---Miranda," Ralph said simply, pulling away from her face quickly. "I--" He was fairly certain that she was not going to let go of him anytime soon, and pushing her away was completely out of the question. So. What? That left him with two options, and neither of them he liked better than the first.

His face contorted for a few seconds painfully, unable to find words. He hated this, he hated this, he loved Miranda more than anything and now he had to purposely hurt her because it--- for her safety. The darkness might have covered the emotions on his face, but it certainly did not cover the strain in his voice.

"I'm leaving," he whispered soundly, his hands dropping from her face.

"Leaving? Leaving? What's that--what do you mean?"

Miranda's head was shaking rapidly back and forth without her realizing it, and she clung to the front of his shirt even harder. He couldn't leave, "You can't--leave, what do you mean---why, why--"

She pressed further into him, forehead to Ralph's chest for a moment before she pulled back, trying to understand his simple two words. Leaving could mean a lot of things! Leaving could mean that he was just going to go back into hiding for now, until things calmed down, and that she could visit him in secret and things would be fine and they can kiss and hug and be together and...and even Miranda couldn't fool herself with blissful ignorance. Ralph's pain stricken voice said it all; why would he be sad about leaving, if they could see each other again?

What a shitty time for logic.

Miranda's normally not-too-swift mind managed to put together the idea that Ralph was leaving as in---going away, not to be seen again, and her chest began to heave heavily with tears. She couldn't understand going from absolutely elated with seeing him again to dismally miserable at the prospect of losing him once more. Knowing he was alive and well and--not able to see him, to touch him anymore. A small part of her could see why it made sense, he was being targeted by death eaters for no reason, Miranda would want to hide too---and---it---just--

"Don't leave, Ralph, please, what--what are you going to do--" Her hands dropped from his shirt to grip onto his, and her chest, her heart began to hurt in an almost blinding manner, "what are you going to do without--what am I going to do without you? I can't--I can't---we promised, Ralph--"

Ralph held his head low, trying his best to stay reserved. He knew, he knew that they had promised they would get through everything together from now on but-- but--- but he couldn't bring her with him. It was different, completely different this time. Miranda just couldn't drop her life here and--- go, no one could. That was the whole point, right? At least, that was what he had been telling himself. He couldn't make her do that, she belonged here with her family and her-- her-- world.

He wanted to believe there was a way around this, he honestly did. But there just... wasn't. And at that sudden thought, Ralph felt his throat close up and his stomach give a painful ache. This was actually happening. It wasn't just-- he had been thinking about this for quite some time, but it had never been in the process of, and now it was, and--- and---

He really just wanted to rip his heart out. That would be much less painful than this.

"I'm--- leaving," he repeated numbly, no longer in control of his mouth. "We have to--- break up. Because---- I'm leaving." Almost roboticly (because he couldn't pay attention to her now, no, he could not look at her face if he wanted to get through with this), Ralph began to unpry his fingers from hers. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he choked, shaking his head from side to side. "We just--- can't. Anymore."

He was--she couldn't breathe, why was he doing this? Why was he breaking her heart all over again, didn't he know? Didn't he know she couldn't live without him? As melodramatic as that sounded and as often as her family told her it would be okay, it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be, because Miranda belonged with Ralph, there was no other way to say it, to put it, she didn't want there to be another definition of what she felt. There wasn't anyone else for her, there wasn't anyone that could make her has happy as him and---no, no he couldn't do this to her, he wasn't allowed---

"Ralph----" she started, letting out a gasp as his hands pulled away from hers. No, no, no, "Ralph, you don't--this--you came back, you just--you just came back, you can't---I thought you were---"

Miranda's shaking hands reached up, ready to grab his face like she had so many times before, but she couldn't in fear that he was going to push her away and she knew that would be it, that it'd be the final lasting blow that would end everything. Her hands went to cover her mouth instead as she tried to force herself to not completely collapse at the insanity of the past five minutes.

"Please," she whispered, her voice muffled in her hands, "I love you, Ralph, you can't leave me, don't---don't--we could try--" Miranda couldn't hold back her sobs now and just let her hands drop listlessly down to her sides looking absolutely pathetic. As much as she didn't want him to go, she felt horrible for trying guilt him into staying. There was no way around this, was there? If he stayed, he was going to be targeted for the rest of his life for escaping this attack, if he left she'd never see him again---why, why couldn't she see him again?

"We could try--please? Please try, we could do it!"

Wasn't there any other way he could do this? It was--- he didn't care about him, he would have forever to nurse himself but... Miranda wasn't leaving him with many options. He loved her, he loved her so much, and it was honestly killing him to know that he was doing this to her--- again. At this point, Ralph would do anything to not hurt her any further.

And at that point, Ralph suddenly realized he would have to the meanest he had ever been to her. To not hurt her further. Because that would be the only way, to get her so angry with him that she would move--- on. Forget about him and start a new life where her boyfriend didn't come with bags upon bags of baggage.

Everything was just completely unfair.

They were meant for each other! They were destined to grow up, get married and have children and--- grow old together, because this was Miranda Dodderidge. His-- his--- tears formed from his eyes as his shoulders began to shudder. But Ralph didn't care that he was crying because--- they were--- he was---

But if they were meant for each other, then why was it so hard to stay together?

That thought if nothing else burned him, like a hot smack across the face. They weren't--- somehow he found the words to speak. "No, we--- can't," Ralph continued to choke, desperately trying to sound everything but how he felt. He had to ignore her, Ralph had to ignore her sobs and the picture of how her face must look now in his head and--- everything. All this emotions, her, the past and--- his previous life. That was what it was now. Nothing but something in the past because... he knew he had always belonged in the muggle world to begin with.

"I'm, I'm--- I have to--- go, I'm not--- don't look for me, don't. We just can't. Just---" Ralph paused for a short second, completely unwilling himself to say the next few words he dreaded to speak, but knew he had to. "forget about me. I'm not---" He couldn't do this, he couldn't do this anymore. It was too hard. Jerkily, Ralph stepped back to reach for the door. "Forget about everything."

He was really leaving her. Miranda's mouth dropped in a silent cry as she watched him move away, and her eyes darted around in the darkness as if looking for something to latch onto, to tie him down and tell him he could not go. He couldn't leave her. Didn't he know they could get through everything? Didn't he know that she would do anything for him?

He didn't think so. He didn't think they could do this. That had to be it, he didn't think they were strong enough to---

She really didn't know what was worse. Thinking Ralph was dead, or knowing that he was alive and well and didn't want to be with her. A stabbing pain erupted in her chest, Miranda realized that the latter was the worst thought she'd ever had pass through her mind. She felt the fire in her stomach, the one that had erupted at seeing his face once again--what she'd been praying about for weeks--it was dying, it was crackling into nothingness and ash in the pit of her stomach.

Ralph was leaving her.

Ralph was leaving her.

The click of the door handle made her let out a whimper, and Miranda took a step forward, but--stopped herself. Her hand dropped and she looked away, feeling ready to die.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye?" she whispered, unsure if he could even hear her. She was going to let him go, he just---he had to say goodbye.

Ralph stopped, the door only creaked open so much so that a sliver of light fell onto the floor. She wanted him to... numbly, he reached up and swiped at his face with his sleeve. After all this, saying one simple word should be easy, shouldn't it? He had already ripped both their hearts out, what impact final blow actually have?

But of course, it wasn't easy, and he found that he couldn't say anything. Ralph choked to speak, but realized it was nearly impossible to strike up his voice. He could not speak, and he could not turn around, leaving him frozen in his shoes. No, no, turning around would mean seeing her face, her tear-stricken face, and Ralph knew he would not be able to walk away after seeing that. So painstakingly, they both stood there.

It took him quite a while to move, and once he did, Ralph found his mouth forming the one word he willed it not to. "Goodbye," he breathed out just as quietly as she had spoken. A few seconds later, Ralph ripped open the door, letting light flood into the room. He did not look back, just as he had promised himself, as he sped toward the sitting area.

"Goodbye."