Who: Dedalus Diggle and Eliza Alderton
What: She's got sad things on her mind
Where: His dorm



This was ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

The two couldn't be alone with each other for more than two minutes before someone came and found them, and they had to move to another location. Okay, well, maybe they waited until they were found more than once to move, but it seemed like the Head Boy and Eliza Alderton had a tracking spell put on them right after they left class that day, because they were always just found. Couldn't Dedalus snog his girlfriend just like everyone else?! Well, the question wasn't whether he was able to, because...well, Merlin, he hoped he was able to. The question was whether he was allowed to, because it just wasn't working right now.

So, they kept moving. Moving, and hoping that the spot they chose would remain secret, but it seemed that there was something in the air, and every 'secret spot' they went to was either already occupied, or someone else had it in mind just a second after they got there. After about the fourth move, things seemed to be going alright before he heard someone clear their throat loudly behind them as they stood behind the Quidditch Bleachers. Turning around, he saw a Hufflepuff who was standing with her arms crossed. "Hufflepuff has the field today." He sighed heavily, looked back to Eliza, and ran his fingers through his hair. She rose her brows. "Well, what do we do now?" Raising his shoulders into a shrug, he looked at his feet before he got an idea. "Well...there's one place we can go." He motioned to the castle, and took her hand in his own, guiding her down the hill to the school, through the hallways, up the stairways ( she was getting much better with them ), and up another winding stairway to the Ravenclaw tower. Lifting a hand, he used the knocker and stepped back as it spoke.

"Ah, Mr. Diggle. Let's see....what is so fragile that when you say its name you break it?" Dedalus furrowed his brows, bit at his cheek, and then smiled to himself, looking at the eagle that had asked the question. "Silence." "Very good." The door swung forward, and he allowed Eliza to step in first. He followed in after her, and looked around the very familiar common room. "It's um, over here." He pointed to the door over to the side, and, still holding her hand, led her to his room. Opening the door, he once again let her step in first before he shut it behind him. They shouldn't be bothered here. "It's not much, but it's quiet. Which is nice, after having Brad as a roommate for 6 years. And, you know, for when I just want to be alone...or something."

It was rather ridiculous how the two couldn't seem to find a spot to snog (it was still odd, thinking about finding a spot to snog, seeing as she'd never had to or had thought about it before---this was why having Miranda Dodderidge as a roommate was a good thing sometimes). Hogwarts castle was rather big, probably the biggest place that she'd ever been in...no, no Eliza was certain of it, because she'd definitely be able to recall such a gigantic place, and it simply wasn't coming to mind.

Oh! Right. Back to snogging her boyfriend!

She had never been to the Ravenclaw dorms and was glad that, though the stairwell was tight and winding, they didn't move, and she gripped Dedalus' hand tightly the entire way up. The knocker's question amused her greatly, and at first she thought love, because that could be something that could break up a relationship once it was uttered---some boys simply did not want to hear it, Eliza knew. But, she rather liked Dedalus answer, and smiled at the knocker (though she did not know if it could see her) and followed him in.

"It's very nice," Eliza said with a nod, knowing in the back of her mind why they hadn't come here in the first place. Dedalus' room meant extreme privacy, extreme privacy with a bed and while she really didn't know where she or they stood on the subject of sex, it was better left not talked about. Except they were here. To snog. Which led to other things. "I think I'm a bit jealous."

He smirked and slipped his hands into his pockets. "Jealous? Nah, it's not that big of a deal." He was probably one of the most modest people you would ever meet. He felt very strange when people were 'jealous' of him. Actually, no one was ever jealous of him, so this was very new. They stood in silence for a few moments, feeling the tension rise in the room. It was obvious that they both felt odd about them being there, at the same time, alone, in his room, but he knew that he wasn't expecting anything from her, or...well, he wasn't even sure who's thoughts he was having right at that moment as he approached her and took her hand in his again, seeing as she had walked away from him to move around the room and just take a look around.

He casually pulled her towards him, and gave her a kiss, which turned into a rather long kiss as she returned it. Part of him was expecting someone to walk in still, but for quite a while they weren't interupted. Taking small steps back, he sat down on the edge of his bed, pulling her down to sit beside him as they continued to do exactly what they had come to his room to do in the first place. But, something just...it wasn't the same. He hadn't kissed her long enough to figure it out until now, but he could definitely feel that she wasn't really all there. After waiting another moment or two, he pulled back, tucked some hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes. "Something wrong...?"

She was naturally a nosy person, but unlike some people, Eliza just liked taking in everything she could, because then she wouldn't be snooping, she'd just take note of what a person left out for them to see. It wasn't as if Dedalus had anything of real interest out (well, she liked finding little quirks she didn't know about him), but she'd spotted some birthday cards on his desk and it made her smile, and it reminded her that the upcoming weekend was her mother's birthday. She let Dedalus tug on her hand, and she responded to his kiss (because she really liked kissing him), but the extreme guilt of having forgotten was starting to become overwhelming.

If she was honest with herself, which she usually was, Eliza would point out that she'd forgotten on purpose, if you could do such a thing. Because if you were trying to forget something, didn't that mean you were thinking about it? Her mother would have been forty-five on Saturday, and it all came back to---her mother had decided herself never to have another birthday, and so--why should Eliza think to acknowledge it? If her mother didn't care, then why should---

She grinned slowly at Dedalus' question, eyes scrunching as she wondered how obvious she'd been. Oh, she didn't want him to think that he was what was wrong, so Eliza shook her head and kissed him again, a bit fiercer this time and grabbed onto the front of his shirt.

So, he wasn't all that convinced. Even though he wanted to be, since he didn't want to pull away from her. His eyes shut rather tight as he kissed her back, his hand moving to her side as shifted, turning towards her even more. As much as he was enjoying kissing her, because it was amazing, but he still couldn't get over the feeling that something was wrong. It was just, a feeling he was having, and he couldn't get past it. But, what if it really wasn't anything, and he was just overreacting? Well, he'd rather be sure than just assume...

Once again he pulled back from her and paused a moment before he sighed, and finally said what he had been thinking. "Are you not telling me something, or is there really nothing wrong, and I'm just imagining things? I mean, you don't have to tell me if there is anything wrong, I just keep getting this...I don't know, you seem...different. Distracted, or something. I'd rather know that I'm just making things up than think that I'm not and worry."

Oh, bother.

Eliza felt her shoulders slump slightly, hopefully not noticably, but did she actually want to? As in---bother Dedalus with it. When someone asked about her mother, she told them, she didn't think she could hold a secret like that back from anyone who'd bothered to ask, but it wasn't something she went around telling for the hell of it, for sympathy or whatever it was that people would give her because of it. Eliza was, though she wouldn't admit it because she wasn't exactly sure if she was describing the feeling well enough, a bit embarrassed about it.

Not--it was just--her mother hadn't thought she or her brother was important enough to stay around, to live. And she'd---killed herself, and Eliza couldn't help but think that if she hadn't pestered her that day that maybe she wouldn't have taken those potions or--or that she would have been in a better mood and bugger her throat was closing up.

"It's my mum's birthday on Saturday," she said. Eliza rarely cried, so her eyes weren't welling up or anything like that, no, she was just finding it a little hard to breathe. "Her--forty-fifth. It would've been---she would've been forty-five."

His brows rose a bit as she revealed the information, and he suddenly felt guilty for asking about it. But, well, no matter what she said, if he was right and something was wrong, it wouldn't have been very good. He knew that his mother was no longer with her, and that she had passed away a long time ago, but other than that, he didn't know very much about her. He didn't know how old she was when she died, or how she died, because...well, how rude would that have been to ask? Rude and insensitive, so he just left those questions unanswered, because they weren't that important. Or, well, they were important, but they weren't necessary to know.

"Oh..." he said, his voice quiet, seeing that she was having some difficulty speaking about it. "You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to...but if you did, you know, want to, you can. Not that you have to, I just, I figure you would have told me the first time if you actually wanted to, so we don't have to talk about it...if you don't want to." He took her hand, and gave it a comforting squeeze. He was trying to be comforting, but he didn't want to be pushy, and...this being a boyfriend thing was hard. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, or what he was allowed to ask, or know. So, he tested the waters every now and then.

She really should not be wishing he wasn't such a good boyfriend. Eliza pouted slightly because that's what she did when she didn't know what to do (at least, she knew should pout in these situations, which was something). He was asking, indirectly, but he was also giving her the option of keeping it to herself, which made Eliza feel...she wasn't sure, was it guilty? That she couldn't talk about her mum? Or was it that she didn't want Dedalus to think...what? Oh, this so bloody confusing. She didn't want him to think that she didn't trust him enough to talk to him, because she did, it was really amazing how much she did.

Mental sigh.

"She killed herself," she ended up blurting. Oh, bugger, now her eyes welled up and Eliza looked down, feeling ashamed. The last time she'd told anyone was when Brianna's father was killed, and she felt the need because--to show that she'd been there and---"Because she was mad at me, right before Hogwarts, before I started, I mean."

That could've gone a whole lot better.

Oh, well...that wasn't really what he was expecting. Not that he was expecting anything, but if he was, that was the last thing he would have expected. He stared at her with large eyes, but once he realized how stunned he looked, he blinked and mentally shook it off because he knew that he had to be there for her, and...oh, she looked liked she was going to cry, and he felt his entire body get tense because of it. He didn't like seeing anyone cry, but this was Eliza, and he was more effected by her than he was by most people. Well, more effected by her than he was by anyone, really.

Swallowing roughly he shook his head and laced his fingers with her own. "You don't--..." he started but then he paused, to concider whether he should say something or not. Was it going to make her more upset? Ugh, he didn't know, and it was hard for him to sit there and not say anything. So, he stared at his lap, and then after a moment or two he resumed with his original question. "You don't know that it was your fault...you don't really know if that was the reason..." He looked back to her, concern etched across his features. He didn't want to appear 'sympathetic', but he couldn't help but feel sympathy for her.

"Of course it is," Eliza retorted bluntly, almost shocked to hear otherwise. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she looked away; was he going to think that was horrible of her? Because it was definitely the reason, she'd been so annoying that night, there was no way her mother would have hurt her like she did if she hadn't deserved it, she'd never done that before so Eliza knew that---that she'd---it just made sense.

She shook her head, though her grip on Dedalus' hand had tightened. "It's true, Dedalus, I was being a brat, going on about Hogwarts and--and Gryffindor, and--I shouldn't have even come, she said I shouldn't have--"

Eliza's face screwed up with anger at herself for not listening to her mum, 'How'd they let a scatterbrain like you get in!' That's why she was so quiet when it came to school, to everything, she didn't think she should be allowed there and--

"Just a scatterbrain, I shouldn't have been so annoying, it's my fault, Dedalus."

What was he supposed to say? He knew deep inside that Eliza being excited about Hogwarts was not the reason for her mother doing what she did, but he had a feeling that if he kept on telling her this right away, she'd feel he was just saying it to make her feel better, and it wouldn't be effective at all. So, he had to figure out a way to get through to her some how. To make her stop feeling so guilty.

"You had every right to be excited about going." He explained, but still, it felt like she wasn't really listening. Lifting his other hand, he used it to turn her head to him, gently. "Hey, look at me...you didn't do anything wrong. You did what any kid your age would have done, because you were excited, and you were upset because your mother didn't want you to go, and that's normal. You did nothing wrong." He spoke the last sentance slowly, knowing that she wouldn't just get over her mother's death in a moment, and realize instantly that it really wasn't her fault, but maybe it would make some sense to her.

"I--Yes, bu--" She tried to interrupt, but Dedalus was making too much sense so Eliza just sat and listened, once again pouting. Because, once again, she didn't know what to do. He sounded right, it sounded like something that could actually be true, but she'd spent six years stuck on the fact that she was the reason behind her mother's death that it was hard to let it go.

But she wanted to, which was a big difference than how she'd ever felt before, and Eliza let out a shaky breath before nodding. Oh, good, she hadn't cried. Silly of her to be worried about that, but she was. Eliza smiled lightly, twisting her face slightly to kiss his hand.

"I messed up our snogging spree."

He couldn't help but smirk at her reaction, shaking his head as he took his arm and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her closer to him on the bed so that he could kiss her forehead and hold her closer to him. It wasn't just that he wanted to be closer to her, it was almost like he needed to be closer to her, to show her that he was there for her.

"You didn't mess up anything, Eliza. I just wanted to make sure you were alright." He didn't want her to think she had to feel guilty about feeling bad about her mother, because he'd rather know she was in a bad mood than have her pretend she wasn't. His other hand parted with hers so that his fingers could glide along her palm and the inside of her own slender digits.