January 4th, 1978
Who: Albus Dumbledore, Alice Goodsmith, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Emmeline Vance
What: They get some disturbing news about James and Frank
Where: Dumbledore's office
He didn’t believe the Aurors’ suspicions. No, Albus Dumbledore was quite sure that they were wrong. Not because he was blinding himself with faith, but he was quite aware how Tom liked to work, and this was certainly not his style.
Alice Goodsmith and Emmeline Vance, here about Frank Longbottom, and Lily Evans and Sirius Black for James Potter. It was a sad sight, watching these four roam the halls with the dazed and so very, very sad, and Albus wanted nothing more than to provide them with some information that gave them hope, something to cling on.
Unfortunately, today he did not have that.
His hands were clasped in front of him, staring at the four students that sat, panicky because they’d been awoken so early (before the Daily Prophet had reached the hands of any of the students) and sent to his office. Albus knew that they could only fear the worse, and, sadly, he was about to deliver the worst kind of news.
“Two bodies were found outside of the gates, early this morning,” Albus said, waiting a moment. “They believe them to be that of James and Frank, but I, do not.”
Alice's heart was pumping so loudly and so fast against her ribcage that she swore the whole room would be able to hear it. Dumbledore looked so grim, so grave. Alice didn't want to be here and she didn't want to be hearing this. Everyone knew that Professor Dumbledore was the ultimate optimist, wanting to see the best in everyone and every situation...but what if he was wrong this time? What if - heaven forbid - these bodies were James and Frank? Alice swallowed the large lump that was forming in her throat, threatening to block off her air.
Her voice hoarse and barely audible, Alice asked,"But, Professor, how can you be sure?" Alice didn't want to hear any more of this 'they believe' business: Alice wanted answers, ones that were definite. She wanted to be able to grieve, or to grasp at the withdrawing strings of hope. She wanted Frank back.
Subconciously, Alices' hand moved out of her lap and across to Lily's, where Alice picked up her hand with her own and squeezed it tight.
Lily nearly started at the touch, not because Alice was touching her (that, in fact, was very welcomed, and she squeezed back just as tightly, if not more), but because, well--Merlin, her mind was spinning now, wasn't it?
She wanted to believe Dumbledore, really, she did. Lily would be damned if she wasn't the last person that would ever want to give up hope that James was alive, but oh God--bodies? If the authorities believed that they were really James and Frank then that meant that there had to be evidence to back that up and after her own experiences... somewhere Lily had known they had to be dead. She wondered if there had really ever been a doubt in her mind, after the blood and after they hadn't shown up after so long and--
She put her free hand to her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut tight, almost amazed by the severe amount of pain that this notion brought along. She didn't really hear anything Alice was saying to Dumbledore--what was the use, really? They were--Alice could go along with what he thought, but her little taste of the reality of Voldemort's cruelty already had her convinced that it was all just a silly, baseless hope.
Sirius had been waiting for this... when they'd been woken up, Sirius knew something bad had happened, so he sat there between Lily and Emmeline, his arms crossed defensively over his chest and jaw clenched tightly.
Bodies. They'd found bodies, outside of Hogwarts. Sirius didn't listen any further than that. He glanced at Lily for his cue but quickly looked away, staring at his feet.
James and Frank were dead. The hope Sirius had had these past few weeks were crushed. He managed to hold back the sob that wanted to escape but couldn't stop the shaking. He leaned forward and ducked his head between his knees, covering his head with his arms, trying to focus on his breathing, trying to stay composed.
James was dead and Sirius' entire world had come crashing down around him.
Her feet hadn't stopped bouncing up and down the entire time, her hands hadn't stopped moving and her eyes hadn't been able to focus on anything in the room. Of course she knew what she was here, with Alice, with Lily, Sirius. Of course she knew, she was smart, she was a Ravenclaw, she could have told them why they were being woken up at five in the morning to head up to the Headmaster's office.
But just because she knew didn't make her ready for it. She stood up quickly, knocking her chair down in the process and ready to storm out of the office and go---just--just go, because this was--it was absolute bullshit.
"And what are we supposed to do!" she spat angrily, tears stinging her eyes, "When can they be sure--when can we know, because you just telling us that you don't bloody think so is complete rubbish, Headmaster, I'm sorry, but this is---this is--"
"I know, Miss. Vance," Albus said, and Emmeline fell silent immediately, still standing because she felt like if she sat she'd never get up again. "The circumstances that the bodies were left, they were not that of the usual style of Voldemort, they were left randomnly, there is no significance. Voldemort does not waste all of this time simply to drop all of his hard work and move on. Your loved ones," his eyes cast over to the other three, "are still very much alive. I do believe, however, that this was a warning, and that we do not have much time to find them."
Alice dropped Lily's hand as she got slowly to her feet as well. She gripped the arm of her chair for support, feeling like she might fall over at any second. A suffocating, woozy feeling had entered her chest. Alice swallowed again, and cleared her throat. "Please, Professor," her voice sounded shrill,"Please be careful. Please be sure in what you're saying because I want to believe you."
She averted her eyes quickly to the ground, desperately trying to convince herself that Frank was alive, that James was too. She had felt horrified this morning, when she had been roused to come to Dumbledore's office. She didn't want to hear that Frank, or James, was dead.
"Em," Alice suddenly turned to Frank's cousin, looking as though she was desperate for someone to agree with her,"What if he's right? Perhaps...perhaps...why would he kill them now? Frank has to be alive, he has to be. James too." Alice looked pointedly at Lily, swallowing again. She couldn't meet Sirius' eye. "Why would he kill them now, after all this?"
"You don't understand," Lily hissed. The ferocity in her voice might have surprised her if she hadn't been so angry, but she was, she was done being dazed and lost and confused. She was so so angry, and not really even at Alice or at Voldemort, but at Dumbledore. How dare he do this to them, drag them in there and try to tell them there was hope when there so obviously was not? His proof was that it wasn't Voldemort's usual style? Bloody hell, Head Girl or not, Lily had never wanted more to climb across that desk and hex the headmaster until he was purple.
But she couldn't, she couldn't--she forced her wand hand to still itself and spun in her chair towards Alice instead. "You don't get it, Alice, they weren't alive in the first place! They haven't been alive for a long time, they can't have been, they--you can't just survive that long with Voldemort.. Hell, I know I'm Muggleborn, but three days and he tried to kill me--"
Her eyes were shining, not just with tears but with the ghost of all that had happened that past October, the memories of that mysterious room, of being chased through Hogsmeade, of Professor Winchell, of his eyes--those snakish eyes as he uttered the death curse and pointed his wand at her and--
Lily rubbed her hands fiercely in front of her eyes and didn't look at anyone as she finished. "--they're purebloods, so who knows... they might have survived a week."
Sirius glanced up at Emmeline's outburst and watched the girls argue but trained his eyes on Dumbledore, watching him for his reactions. It looked like he genuinely believed what he was saying. Sirius didn't want to have given up on James, but... the circumstance of two bodies being dropped at Hogwarts two weeks after everything... it was unthinkable and the conclusion was there.
It was cruel of Dumbledore to ask them to continue hoping-and Sirius didn't think he could take anymore. He'd give anything for James and Frank to be alive again, but the bleak outlook and this so called 'warning'... Sirius dropped his head again, just wanting to go back to bed and wake up and have this all be a nightmare.
Emmeline had not---she had not felt so angry about all of this until Lily started speaking. She wanted to walk over to her and smack the girl across the face, she wanted to pull her hair and she wanted to just scream and shriek because none of this was really happening, none of this was true, Franklin Tybalt Longbottom was not dead.
"Oh, fuck you, Lily!" Emmeline spat, not caring that she was in front of the Headmaster or that she was talking to the Head Girl. At the moment she did not care about anything besides the hope that Frank was going to return, alive and could give a damn if Lily ever spoke to her again. "Fuck you--fuck---just---this is fucking unbelievable---you---you Gryffindors are so full of shit, that's what you are! The lot of you just---just!"
She shook her head, backing away from the chairs and to the door. Emmeline couldn't stay here any longer, Dumbledore didn't really know anything useful, it was not necessary. She'd rather go back to sleep for the day than sit here with these people. Alice at least had some sense---there was---Emmeline let out a frustrated sound and opened the door and stalked out, slamming it behind her.
Dumbledore did not make a move at Emmeline's quick departure, and looked over at the other three.
"I will keep you all informed of what the Aurors find out," he said with a nod.
"Emmeline!" Alice spluttered, shocked that she'd speak to anyone like that, let alone Lily, who was going through the exact same crisis the rest of them were going through. It didn't matter, right in this moment, that Lily was being stunningly pessimistic. It mattered that they stuck together. The door slammed, and Alice winced.
Dumbledore had remained calm throughout the entire meeting. Alice took a deep breath, shut her eyes for a moment, and then plucked up enough courage and enough will to whole heartedly pledge her mind to agree with him. Frank wasn't dead. This wouldn't happen to her, not now, not after everything they had been through together. "Thankyou, Professor." Alice said, her voice a little stronger than it had been before.
She turned to the other two students still left in the room. Sirius had still said nothing. She felt a stab of sympathy for him - she hardly knew what to say to him. The pain he was going through was much, much different to hers. Glancing at Lily now, she sighed. "Lily, please, please don't give up faith." She said softly, before giving Dumbledore a fleeting, sad smile.
Alice, too, left the room, shutting the door quietly.
That had done it, Alice saying that, to make the sob that she had been holding in her throat choke out--not even Emmeline screaming had affected her, but... She actually felt sorry for Alice for being able to believe in this false hope--but then, she would admit that she also envied that same thing. She would have loved to trick herself into the rest of eternity in thinking that James was alive, keep herself happy and oblivious, but--but she knew better and that just wasn't an option for her. In the end, they were still dead and even if she did try to believe... she'd still have to face it sooner or later.
Better to start coming to terms with it now, than having another emotional breakdown when it was official.
It was a good while before she rose to her feet, but Lily somehow found it in herself to make her way over to Sirius. She stood above him and stared down at the boy for a moment before getting down to her knees and hugging him tightly. She was still crying quietly, her face in his shoulder, when she spoke. "Let's go back upstairs."
Sirius' arms went around her loosely as she hugged him and he had to take a few deep breaths to keep himself from breaking down in front of her. He nodded at her request and stood, keeping his arm around her back, if not for her support then for his own. His mind was like a pendulum ranging between complete and utter devestation and boiling, murderous rage. The devestation of all of this completely drained him and he felt like a zombie.
He glanced over his shoulder at Dumbledore but let Lily lead him out the door, "I-I don't think," Sirius shook his head again as his voice caught in his throat, "I don't know what to do."
