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inthefreakdom)
Dear Curtis,
I miss you so much at times it hurts. I was willing to give up everything for you. I very nearly did give up everything for you. I don't understand why you left without a word, but then I don't really believe that you'd do that to me.
Jasper, maybe. I opened my heart to trust again and it turns out he was just passing time. But you, you were different Curtis. You had my heart and you gave me yours.
I still feel it, sometimes late at night, lying in bed with some stranger who's paid me to make them feel whole again. I can feel your arms around me, your heart beating so close to my chest that I wake up with tears on my skin. I don't think you would do this to me and I fear that something horrible happened.
Just like your brother David who disappeared to never return. I'm so terrified that you'll never come back to me. I can't even send this; I wouldn't know where. I just need you to know that there's a hole in my life where you used to fit and no one else will be able to fill it.
Yours, if you ever return,
Janeane
inthefreakdom)Dear Curtis,
I miss you so much at times it hurts. I was willing to give up everything for you. I very nearly did give up everything for you. I don't understand why you left without a word, but then I don't really believe that you'd do that to me.
Jasper, maybe. I opened my heart to trust again and it turns out he was just passing time. But you, you were different Curtis. You had my heart and you gave me yours.
I still feel it, sometimes late at night, lying in bed with some stranger who's paid me to make them feel whole again. I can feel your arms around me, your heart beating so close to my chest that I wake up with tears on my skin. I don't think you would do this to me and I fear that something horrible happened.
Just like your brother David who disappeared to never return. I'm so terrified that you'll never come back to me. I can't even send this; I wouldn't know where. I just need you to know that there's a hole in my life where you used to fit and no one else will be able to fill it.
Yours, if you ever return,
Janeane
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