alboos (alboos) wrote in paddedrooms,
@ 2012-12-23 19:53:00

Albus was so upset about everything that happened. He didn't know if he was upset about actually sleeping with Scorpius or upset that he'd liked it so much. That it had felt so natural and wonderful and beautiful. As he rode the train, he had a lot of time to think about it. To think about Scorpius and how he'd felt about him when they were younger. How much he'd wanted him.

But, he'd spent two years with Kit. And Scorpius had never said anything about feelings things for him before. Had he always felt this way? But, kit was so perfect for him. They had the same goals. The same drives. They had planned their future out together. They were going to live in a log cabin and have a child together through a surrogate of their choosing. They were going to be famous and love each other.

And then he'd think of Scorpius. His best friend. Someone he'd already spent all of his life with. One of the only people who had ever made him feel comfortable, before Kit had come into the picture, at least. He closed his eyes and stepped off the train.

The bus ride felt even longer and he was worrying his lip so much he thought it may bleed. And sometimes his eyes would start to water when he thought about what he'd say to Kit. Still not sure of what he even wanted to do. And he wasn't sure how Kit would respond. He stood outside of the door for what seemed like forever before he was able to knock on the door.

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notthatsmith
2012-12-24 03:58 am UTC (link)

Kit frowned at the door a little when there was a knock on it, getting up to pull it open, expecting to see one of the other students come to ask him about their homework or something. "Albus!" He grinned when he saw his boyfriend, leaning forward and kissing him deeply, then stopping and pulling back.

"You -- are you okay?" he asked. "Is something wrong?" Something seemed wrong. "You -- come in. My dorm's kind of a mess, but I've missed you a lot."

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	alboos 2012-12-24 04:09 am UTC (link)
	No. Nothing was okay and everything was wrong. But, Albus didn't know how to put it into words. He stepped into the dorm and looked at Kit long enough to burst into tears and wrap his arms around him. "No." He whispered. "Everything is wrong and I don't know how to fix it." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

notthatsmith
2012-12-24 04:22 am UTC (link)

Kit felt himself panicking, wrapping his arms tight around Albus and holding him close. "What happened?" he asked, clutching at his boyfriend as he kicked the door shut. This definitely seemed private. "Is someone hurt? Sick?"

He pulled back a little, kissing Albus's temple. "Let's sit, Alby. We'll talk about it. We'll figure out how to fix it, okay? Whatever it is."

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	alboos 2012-12-24 05:00 am UTC (link)
	"No. No one is sick. But, I hurt someone." Albus told Kit quietly as he walked with him to sit down on the bed in the dorm. He looked at Kit for a moment, then looked away from him, down at his hands. "I don't know how to tell you." He told him quietly. "I don't know how to say it." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

notthatsmith
2012-12-24 05:03 am UTC (link)

Kit was scared, watching Albus on his bed. "You... Is it really that bad?" he asked. He reached out, touching Albus's hand for a moment before he pulled back. Kit ran his hand through his hair. "I... I don't know. Maybe whatever I'm thinking is worse."

He squeezed his own hands together, staring down at them and hoping desperately that he was wrong. "Did you... were you... with someone else?"

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	alboos 2012-12-24 05:12 am UTC (link)
	Albus squeezed his eyes closed and began to cry harder when the question was asked. It was so hard to admit it and he was so mad at himself for making it this hard. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be with Kit for the rest of his life. He looked at him. "I'm so sorry, Kit." He whispered. "I'm.. Fuck." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

notthatsmith
2012-12-24 05:15 am UTC (link)

Kit wasn't even sure what to say. What to do. Albus had cheated on him. He... They were supposed to be together forever. It hadn't even been a week.

He squeezed his eyes shut, pulling away from Albus and getting up, walking to the other side of the room and leaning against the desk. Kit wrapped his arms around himself, squeezing tight and trying not to cry. "I love you," he whispered. "I want -- I wanted -- I don't understand."

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alboos
2012-12-24 05:21 am UTC (link)

Albus wanted to go to him. To go over to him and wrap his arms around him and hold him close so that he would never leave him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, running a hand through his geled hair.

"I don't- I can't make excuses, Kit." He told him quietly. "I was upset about not having you around. I felt lonely and I was crying. I started drinking with Scorpius and... and we started kissing." He told him. "I don't know how it got to where it got."

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notthatsmith
2012-12-24 05:29 am UTC (link)

"Scorpius?" Kit looked up at Albus incredulously. "You -- that's so much worse," he said. "So much worse than you sleeping with someone from school or some boy at a club. Your best fucking friend. A model."

He reached up to rub tears away from his eyes. "I don't... I don't know what to do, Albus. I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how I feel. Besides broken."

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	alboos 2012-12-24 05:35 am UTC (link)
	Albus looked up at Kit for a moment, then closed his eyes. He rubbed at them, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He shook his head and then took a deep breath, standing. "You want me to leave?" He asked quietly, reaching out to touch Kit's arm. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	notthatsmith 2012-12-24 05:39 am UTC (link)
	Kit stared at Albus for a moment. It felt so... He didn't know what he wanted. To have Albus. To have an Albus that didn't cheat. He looked down at the hand on his arm. "I love you," he said. "But I... Do you love me? Do you still..." Kit let out a shakey breath. "I need time, Albus. I need to process... this." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	alboos 2012-12-24 05:52 am UTC (link)
	"Of course I love you." Albus replied softly, feeling like he would break at any moment. "I will always love you, Kit. You have no idea how much I love you." He squeezed his arm gently, reassuringly and then pulled back. "I'll go home." He told him quietly. "And.. And if you want to talk, I'll have my phone with me." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	notthatsmith 2012-12-24 05:55 am UTC (link)
	Kit nodded, looking up at Albus. "Okay," he said. "That... Good." He let out a shakey breath. "Good, because I need you to leave. I need to be alone." He closed his eyes for a moment, fighting back another sob. "I need to think about what I want." (Reply to this)(Parent)

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