April 4th, 1978
Who: Emmeline Vance, Benjy Fenwick
What: >_____>
Where: Order House >___>



She couldn't remember much, no, it was all rather blurry and annoying. Emmeline was currently in a bed in a room on the second floor of the Order House, still nodding in and out of consciousness. She remembered...she remembered Caradoc, she remembered Frank, and she remembered...floating? Floating...someone had levitated her. Okay. So she wasn't on the couch anymore, Potter wasn't been all healerish. Good. Okay.

Wake uppppp, she willed herself, and Emmeline let out a soft groan and put a hand to her head. She had a throbbing headache, but at least she was still alive. Right? No, no that was lame, she didn't even have a chance to fight back before she'd been stunned, and here she was, lying in a bed and ready to cry. Both hands covered her face now and she let out a choking sound. Emmeline was sure she was going to get hysterical in a second, but that was before she heard the legs of a chair skid against the floor, and she sat up too quickly.

Doubling over because her side still ached, Emmeline twisted to look at Frank, who she assumed was there and---oh. It wasn't Frank.

"B-Ben?"

He had the sudden urge to jump out of the chair and leave the room. Ben wasn't even sure why he was here, sitting in front of Emmeline's bed, watching her with concern twitching and gripping at his heart. No, that was a lie. He knew why he was there. What he didn't know anymore was, for one, why they had broken up months ago, he didn't know why he let those girls string him along, and why she was dating another bloke. He chose to blame it on fate, of course, but deep down, he knew it wasn't satisfying. Ever since she showed up at his house with those awful news about Frank, something snapped. He didn't know if it was between them, or just something in his head, in his personality, but something changed. And as silly as it sounds, that thing seemed to have mended when he'd heard of the attack, when they told him that Emmeline was hurt.

It wasn't that something that had made him sit there for almost an hour, waiting for the girl to wake up. He was just worried. Concerned. Being eaten up inside. He wished for her to wake up, but he didn't expect it to happen while he was there. He didn't have anything prepared; no words or a speech, nothing. He had no way of explaining why he was there, or of telling her that he wasn't angry anymore. He didn't know if he wanted to tell her, too. There were a lot of bloody things he didn't know.

"Are you alright?" He croaked in reply, his voice hoarse and thick, as if it hadn't been used in ages. And in a sense, it hadn't been, not with her. "Do you want me to call someone?"

Ha, who? Who would she---her parents were in Paris, and Frank knew where she was. That's all who mattered---Brad, fuck---fuck, fuckfuck---Emmeline felt some panic rise up inside of her at the idea of him being hurt and....oh, oh Frank had gone after him, she knew. He'd be okay. He'd be---had Anneliese gone? Had she been there? What about Gideon and--Smeth was in Hawaii so---so----Emmeline looked up at Ben with her eyes full of tears and she shrugged oddly, looking back down at her hands.

What was he doing here? They hadn't spoken a word to each other in months, and that was even with working on the charms on the Order house. Oh, what a cruel joke on Dumbledore's part to put them together. Not one word, not---it wasn't important now, was it? All this anger toward him and all the frustration and---and---

"N-no, it's okay, I...erm, I'm..." completely and utterly terrified? "I...you're here," she finished, breathless.

Oh, that was a dumb thing to say.

Her words surprised him, even if it didn't show. His face was all contracted in this expression of extreme concern and worry, despite his efforts to appear calm. You're here. His brain wasn't in control anymore, and he hardly noticed. It wasn't like the other times, were he'd actually feel as if he was standing outside his skin, watching his body move and act without a direct order from his brain. No, this time, he didn't appear to have any conscious knowledge of what his body was doing. His hand reached out, and the tips of his fingers brushed against hers hesitantly, before his palm rested gently on top of hers. He felt an electric current pass through his limbs, but he wasn't aware of its source.

His brain was solely focused on her, his eyes staring at hers. She was all he could think about right now. He couldn't even register the fact that he was holding her hand because she seemed to occupy his thoughts. Completely.

"It's going to be alright." His voice was soft when he spoke, barely above a whisper. He didn't necessarily have to believe his words to sound honest. If he wasn't so worried right now, he would've probably reckoned that she wouldn't believe him.

No..nonononono, he shouldn't be looking at her like that and talking to her in that voice and he shouldn't be touching her but--but she believed him, with every last fiber of her being and that sounded stupid because by all logical means she shouldn't. Because who was Ben to tell her that it was going to be alright, honestly, Ben was the one who had promised her so much and they'd managed to somehow lose it all in what felt like one swift moment.

Merlin, who was he to...oh, bloody hell, he was Ben, the one she'd spent more than a year infatuated with, who if she was honest with herself still cared for him in that way, he was---she had loved him, and he was here now when he didn't have to be, so maybe they could be civil and be friends and he would help her deal with this because while she talked a big game she wasn't ready to go out there and face the dark forces and and and--

"B-Ben," she choked out, one hand covering her mouth and the other taking hold of his. Oh, she'd missed him so much, he'd been her best friend for so long and to finally have something, anything back was overwhelming.

Oh yes, his brain was definitely not in control anymore. It didn't even remind him that she had another guy now, or that he was supposed to be angry, or that this was just wrong. In a matter of seconds, he was kneeling next to her bed (sometimes his height unnerved him), his arms wrapping themselves around her in a tight hug.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you anymore." And unlike his previous utterance, he truly believed in this. His blood was practically boiling, and if Emmeline wasn't in tears in front of him, he would have dashed out of the room in search of a bloody death eater to blow up. "I lo-" Whoa. No. Wrong. Bad. "I- I mean it."

Her face pressed into his shoulder and she nodded along with his words, all of his words, because did Ben really think he could get something past her? No, of course not, he never could. Her hands found the front of his shirt and she clung so hard to him that Emmeline was sure she was going to rip holes into it. So he still---oh, oh that made things difficult. Because she---she loved him, but she didn't know if it was like that anymore, because how could she simply forget all the pain he'd put her through?

But it was Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben, it's all she could think about and Emmeline had never felt this confused in her life and the only reason she was ever confused was because of him and---and--she let out a few more cries and kept nodding against him, trying to calm herself but it wasn't going to, she knew, but at least she felt safe.

"M-me too, Ben, m-me t-too--" Because it was true and she didn't know what the fuck to do with it anymore and she wanted to hex him into next year for messing her up like this.

For a second, he dared think that she was referred to the something he almost said, the something that took so much effort to keep inside, especially with her looking like she was. She wasn't only beautiful, she also looked hurt and fragile, and he wanted to say it. And if he had time to think about it, he would've discovered that she probably was referring to that, because nothing else he said would fit. But he couldn't allow himself to think that just yet, not when he knew that she was with that Brad guy when the attack happened.

His lips pursed a little and he nodded, trying to distract himself from that line of thought. "We all will make sure nothing bad will happen."

"We can't, Ben," Emmeline said with a sigh, but she was too tired to really argue. She pulled back from his embrace and stared dully at him, shaking her head. To make promises that they'll always be okay, that things were never going to go wrong again, that was just wrong, and to go into these fights thinking that they will..."I wish we could say that and--and mean it, but we can't."

It really pained her, all that truth coming to a head. Not that she hadn't known, not with Frank, not with the attack in Hogsmeade, but it was the first day that the Order really had a say in what went down, and even though she was quite sure that they were very, very unprepared (which was scary, seeing as they'd been together for almost four months now). Emmeline didn't want to go into anything else feeling this unprepared; before she'd been hit she'd had her wand out, but what was she going to do? Just run into the middle of it and get killed? She was lucky it was just a stunner, she was lucky---

"But--" Emmeline looked down, sighing. She still loved Ben very much, and she didn't feel bad about it, because---no, she didn't need a reason. "But you have to try and be lucky, okay?" Her eyes rose to meet his and she smiled shakily, "Because---I'll kill you myself, if--if you're not."

She would kill him herself if he didn't try and be lucky? Well. That sort of changes things. Suddenly the possibility that she was dating whatever-his-name-was just to make him jealous, or to get back at him for dating those other girls, presented itself. It felt like one of those moments on his tv shows, were a light turns on in the roof and angels start chanting hallelujah. Funny, but true.

"Maybe each of us could make sure the other is keeping lucky." He suggested with a slight smile that was threatening to break into a grin. Maybe she didn't love Brad, or even like him. Maybe it was just because she didn't have him. After all, that was what he did with the other girls, wasn't it?

There was no reason she should be blushing at a time like this. Here she was, in bed after being hit by a Death Eater's spell, with her ex-boyfriend, while her current...dating...boy (Emmeline hated not having titles, but she just wasn't ready to call Brad her boyfriend) was in the middle of all the chaos and she had no idea what condition Frank had found him in (because Frank had found him), and she was blushing because Ben was smiling at her and telling her that they should be each other's lucky charms or something and---and---bloody hell.

"I can live with that, don't think I could have a better charm," she said with a nod, feeling awfully shy now because they were still really close and Bennnnnn was smiling at her and ohhhh when she wasn't aching she was going to hit him hard for doing this to her.

Ben knew Emmeline. He really knew her. He knew what she liked, what she hated. He was perfectly acquainted with everything that made her silly. He was also familiar with everything that made her turned red with anger and wrinkle her forehead. He knew what made her laugh, he knew what made her cry. And, of course, he knew what made her blush- or at least, he knew perfectly well how not to miss it when she blushed.

He saw her cheeks turn rosy, and that was like a string of hope tugging at his heart. Do something. When she said didn't even get to his brain, he heard her talk, saw her mouth move, but didn't listen. He was just gathering up the guts to do something. It didn't take too long, because of the Gryffindor spirit in him. In a matter of seconds he made up his mind and leaned forward, gently capturing her lips with his. Oh, it had been too long.

Haaaa, oh. Oh, oh, she was kissing Ben. Ben, BenBenBen and it was all her mind could process, except kissing him back. When was the last time they'd kissed, when was the last time they'd been this close, this okay with each other? It felt like years, it literally felt like she hadn't been able to touch him in years and even though it was only...what, October, October? That was ages, oh, sweet---how had she allowed that?

Because she was stubborn, and he was stubborn, and people were stubborn and stupid and---and---oh, Anneliese was going to kill her (Frank, not so much, but---), but---but---her hands were moving on their own, ah, no, she wasn't going to lie, Emmeline knew exactly what she was doing when they slipped around Ben's shoulders and he felt so familiar and good and for the first time in a long, long time that she had two feet planted on the ground.

This was really all Ben could have hoped for. He half expected her to push him away, slap him, or at least, not kiss him back. It was nice to have the complete opposite. More than nice, really. Brilliant. Ace. wonderful. Amazing. Ben half grinned against her lips, fighting the urge to jump up and do a silly dance.

When had he started longing for the taste of her lips again? If asked, Ben would probably say since he'd heard about the attack, but it would be a lie. He had always longed for it, even if he didn't admit it to himself. And now that he was kissing her- oh, now he realised that every single girl he had kissed in the past few months could never, ever compare to her. He just knew that he wanted no one but her.

His arms sneaked up behind her, pulling her against his body in a tight hug. It was a bit tricky with him kneeling on the floor, but oh, they'll manage.

Really, Ben, come on now. Get on the bed. Hurry it up. Honestly. If we're going to do this, we're going to do this right.

She was going to be in so much trouble. So, so much trouble, but Emmeline honestly didn't care. She didn't, she could have died, if Ben had gone out, he could've died, there was no time to sit and wallow in how you've upset other people. She would deal. Emmeline would live with the guilt as long as she was happy and it sounded horribly selfish of her but fine, be it, she loved Ben and they'd never settled things, and maybe its what they were doing now, but damn it, she was going to finish it.

"Merlin, Ben, get up here," she muttered, going back to kissing him soon after, her hand going into his hair because she hadn't been able to touch his hair in so long, and she needed to.

There wasn't any command Ben would have liked to follow better than this one. Before getting on the bed, though, he pulled his wand out and charmed the curtains around her bed closed, because, well, he wouldn't have this ruined for the world. He even remembered to place a silencing charm, which maybe was a bit ahead of time, and maybe would earn him a slap.

Scrambling up to get on the bed, he tried to keep his head lever so that her hands would stay in his hair- oh, how he loved it when her hands played with his hair. His lips left hers, as difficult as that was, and settled on her neck instead, planting small kisses, doing what they used to, what they should be doing forever.

It had to be her mind playing tricks on her that her side didn't hurt anymore, right? Had to be that, because with Ben kissing her and touching her and being so good at everything and just being here, with her, it was all too much and her logical brain decided to try and figure out why she wasn't in pain while her heart and body were screaming BEN, YOU DOPE.

Made sense, so she stopped thinking and let out the sounds that were growing in the back of her throat and allowed herself to revel in his touch and in their closeness and it wasn't long before they were---aha, she smiled widely as she'd pushed him up so she could fiddle with his shirt and he could do the same and Emmeline loved how they'd just slipped back into place and every other second her mind went blank with happiness because this was just so unbelievably wonderful that there was some part of her that feared it wasn't real.