"....Hello, Howard. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me.
What? You are getting married? You mean there is a woman who... I mean, congratulations Howard! I am certain she--Bernadette, thank you--is a lovely and l-l-lucky woman.
What? Nothing. That was a minor processing glitch.
No, I would not be interested in attending the wedding. But thank-you all the same. I would not wish to detract from your special day.
No, Howard, I do not think you should inquire if there is room for "action on the side" or a ménage à trois.
*sigh* Congratulations on your nuptials, Howard. Good-bye."
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