Title: Memories [part 1 of ?]
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts and Devil May Cry
Characters: Roxas and Nero
Genre: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Memory Loss. Roxas's point of view, takes place in Fortuna. First part of a new fic. Rehashed old idea done in a slightly different way.
I guess the right way to start this off would be to say when this was or where it happened, who I am and who I was with but I can't. It's not there. I try to remember but I keep drawing a blank.
You know how scary that is? To sit there, trying to remember your own name and coming up with nothing? I can't even remember what I look like, my favorite food, where live or anything. And there's this guy, he's got this freakish arm, and he's looking at me with wide eyes and I don't know what to say to him. He looks really scared. Well, he's not the only one. But the thing is that I can feel something, in my chest, when he looks at me and I don't know what it is or why it's there. It's a familiar feeling, feels kind of warm, but I don't even know this guy's name.
The only thing I can remember is waking up just a second ago with my head throbbing. I'd say it was the worst headache of my life, but I can't say say that for sure. I don't know if I've ever had a headache before at all. Or even why I may have woken up with one. The only thing that's in my mind is this headache. Everything else, including myself, is strange, foreign, and kind of scary.
"Roxas?" That guy with the arm, he's got this calming voice. He sounds as scared as I feel. And his eyes, wide like that, I kind of get the feeling that it might be strange for him. But it still felt familiar. None of this makes any sense.
Who's Roxas? Is he talking to me? Judging by the look on his face, he must be. Is Roxas a name or some silly expression I've never heard? Neither would surprise me.
I'm clutching my head with both hands and realize I'm sitting on the ground, legs stretched out on the asphalt below me. The asphalt is hot, it would probably burn my legs if I were wearing shorts. It's hot, probably a summer day. And my head, it's throbbing so bad that my vision is blurring. The other guy's voice is distant even though his shadow is hovering over me. He's leaning down over me, when I open my eyes I can see his hands on his knees. One human hand, the other...I have no clue. I look up for a second and see four sets of eyes and a blurring white blob with thin strands blowing in a slight breeze. This guy, his hands are bigger than mine. He's a pretty good size but right now he looks like a little child trapped that grown body. At least, with the way he's looking at me right now, with those eyes.
"Roxas?" He asks again. Yeah, he's talking to me. His voice echos in my head and all I can think about for a second is how I could really use some aspirin.
I look down, clutch my head harder, trying to make the pain go away even slightly. Anything, anything, please. What happened to me?
"Roxas, are you alright?"
Well, that was a silly question. No, I'm not alright. I'm hurting and I'm scared. I'm pretty sure you mean something to me, a lot actually, but I have no idea what.
"You got anything for my head?" I ask. I'll find out everything after this pain goes away. I don't want to move until then.
His expressions softens even further and he holds out his freakish looking hand to me. "Give me your hand, I'll take you home. I think I got something at the apartment."
His apartment? But I don't know him. Is that okay? I don't even know who this guy is, is it really a good idea to go to his home? He seems okay, especially with this weird feeling in my chest when I look back at him, but...I don't remember him so I don't know.
My arms are shaking as I take my hands off my head, placing my palms flat on the asphalt underneath me. The burning sensation from it doesn't even phase me because all I can think about is my throbbing headache. I try to push myself up and get about halfway to my feet when I feel myself stumble. But before I can fall, I'm caught. That guy, his arms around around me.
"Take it easy," he says.
"Thanks." I reply. I find my balance again and stand up straight, the world's spinning. He lets me go but his arms aren't far. He stands up really close to me, still looking at me with those eyes. He knows something happened. I can see it in his eyes. All four sets of them. But I'm afraid to tell him. Somehow, I get the feeling it will crush him. And....I don't what to do that to him.
"We're safe now," he says to me. "After it got you, I slaughtered its sorry ass. Never seen that thing before. And last I checked, the Hell Gate was still closed. I need some answers." His tone was strange in a way, laced with determination and concern simultaneously. And somehow, I felt drawn to that.
"After what got me?" I ask. I'm trying not to clutch my head now. I don't want to hear that worried tone again.
He tilts his head. "The demon. You went right after it. I know it was fast, but it was right in front of you." He pauses, as if expecting an answer from me. Only I have no idea what he's talking about so I don't say anything. What can I say? "There was a flash and you went out. I didn't see what happened," he goes on, "but I tore it's sorry ass apart after that. Why'd you go after it like that? I asked you to wait."
I want to say something, anything. He's looking at me, waiting. I open my mouth but no words come out. My mind is a complete and total blank. I'm starting to feel kind of stupid actually. Something, anything. Words. Words have somehow escaped me.
He looks confused, concerned. He's looking right into my eyes. I can't look away. "Roxas....how did we hear about the demon being in town?"
I don't remember the demon or anything about the town we're in, let alone how he and I had supposedly heard about it being in the town. I bite my lower lip. If I say I don't know, I admit something happened. I could try to give an answer. Something generic so he won't ask me anymore questions. Maybe...I'll remember soon. I obviously hit my head really hard, maybe it's just taking a second to get myself together. Yeah, that's it.
"I think people screaming was the first clue." I try to make it sound like a joke. See? I'm fine. I'm messing with you, whatever-your-name-is.
His expressions falters. There's some kind of deep pain. It's the same pain I saw when I first laid eyes on him when I woke up a few seconds ago but now it's starting to get worse. "Roxas...this part of town is abandoned. We got the call from Kyrie to check things out here. No civilians saw it."
I'm shaking. I look away. I'm scared. He's on to me. I don't want to tell him. I know it'll hurt him. I can't explain how, I just know. And I know I don't want to hurt him. I'm desperately hoping that everything will flood to my mind at any moment. Now.....or now....now. But nothing happens.
"Yeah, I know. Come on, what's with all the questions? I got a headache, you got something for it or not?" Okay, maybe I'm coming off as a little harsh in my tone. But...I'm scared.
"Roxas..." He asks in a calm tone, as if he didn't even hear me. Or maybe he did and that's the problem. I don't know. And yeah, I figured out that my name is Roxas, I get it. Are we good now? "Where are we?"
I still can't look at him. I'm shaking even more now. I can't do this, I can't tell him. I can't tell him I don't remember anything. I can't let him hurt with that news. Nor do I really want to make sense of why I know that news will hurt him.
I turn and start to walk away. "I don't know what your problem is. I got hit pretty hard, okay? Just let me clear my head. I'm fine."
His human arm clutches my wrist. "Just answer me, Roxas. Where are we?"
I freeze. "We're home. I just need to go for a walk, alright? Come on."
He pulls on my arm and suddenly I'm turned around, hands clutched on my shoulders for a moment before he clutches my face, holding my face so I'm dead even with his eyes. My vision is still blurring slightly but I can see his eyes clearly and I know that he won't let me out of this.
Shit.
"What's my name?" He asks it like a question he doesn't want to ask. Like a child asking if he has to go to the dentist today. Yes, sweetie, you do. I'm glad you asked, if you hadn't I would have forgotten.
I bite my lip again. I have no idea what this guy's name is. I don't know anything about him, only the way he's making me feel right now. "Quit messing around..." I whisper. It comes out as a whisper because I'm scared.
"I'm not messing around but if you are, this isn't funny anymore. Just tell me. Please. What's my name?"
I can't look away. His grip on my cheeks won't let me. He's not buying my act anymore. I feel transparent and small. I'm a little creature shivering in the cold with shadows hovering around me. I don't have a choice anymore.
"I...I don't know."
I could see his heart breaking through his eyes. This is what I was trying to avoid. Maybe, hopefully, I can take this away from him when my memories come back at any moment. Please, right now, it needs to happen. I'm wishing desperately. But it doesn't still.
He looks down but doesn't let me go. Maybe I imagined it but I could swear I see his shoulders shake a little before he looks back up at me. I know he wasn't laughing.
His thumb strokes my cheek slightly and I want to pull back but I can't. I'm not sure if I would even if I was able to though.
"Listen to me," he starts, locking eyes with mine again. "You're Roxas. I'm Nero. And I need you to trust me. We're going to get you better again. I promise. But I need you to trust me. Please."
What can I do? I'm lost and the only things I know are what's happened since I woke up. Everything else is a blank. If I go out there by myself, trying to find myself again, where do I start? Can I even defend myself? And I got this guy here, Nero, who's asking me to trust him. Admittedly, there is a small part of me scared that this is a bad idea.
But the more he looks into his eyes, the more that warm feeling in my chest increases. And...his sad expression is making something deep inside me ache. I can't explain it, but I can't walk away. I trust him. And somehow, I don't know why, but I'm very glad that it was him there when I woke up and not anyone else. Considering I didn't even know his name until he told me, that probably doesn't even make sense.
"Okay," I say quietly. "Can I please have something for my head first?"
He gives me a small, sad smile. "Yeah, beauti-...just...follow me, okay?"
I nod, trying to figure out why he almost called me 'beautiful'. He turns and starts down the road, keeping a close eye on me as I follow him.
