UsernameEmailRegionInterestAOL IMICQ IDYahoo! IDMSN IDJabber

i think it's time we all have a conversation about giving. a lot of us have given a lot to this community and to see some of the stuff that happens in return is really disappointing. i gave up a lot of my free time for activities (both auctions, oh and i have been one of the ones pushing for new awards to stir some excitement in this place!) as well as running filmog with ~allistair before taking over modding as a two week favor, only to have the original mod just disappear on us and leave us holding the bag and some huge horirble secret. modding was hellacious. we never had time to play or even really interact because there was always so damn much to do, especially with credits. it didn't matter what we did, it was always wrong. nothing was ever enough for people and it seemed like every single person expected some special treatment when they contributed very little. something that still is going on now, only on an even worse level with people looking completely inactive, only to pop up every 3 or 4 weeks for an update or something. this is a community, guys. or it was. and a community means interaction. but then it became way too much for us and ~lefors who kindly started helping out a month or so in (hell, we had up to FIVE mods at one point and it was still way too much) and we had to hand it over. we chose ~lico because of their dedication and level head with the game. during all this time, i've watched the activities i was helping with get torn apart. i watched ~tracey get run out of the GAME just because their character chose to say something controversial - something we apparently all appreciate in other characters, just never did in her. i watched people claim i bring myself up and that's the only reason people liked my character. i watched people rip apart the way filmog was run and the way things were modded. i have also watched one of my character's closest friends get run out of the community after their slp was hacked, an act i am still disgusted by to this date, as well as have been pushed to the point of wanting to just delete myself. but i stuck around because i had some kind of faith. i just don't know if i really do right now. and i agree that the only real justice we can do is close it. i'm appalled right now and very embarrassed. i'm just tired of being drug down with everything. i absolutely relate to ~lico at this point. seeing the way she was called out for being bipolar, and knowing she had been using it as a therapy for herself - which i thought was handled beautifully - just hurts, considering i know i have considered using rp recently as a therapy for myself. lately i've had a lot of issues going on with my personal life. hell if you'd like to know, i have no idea where my older brother is and if he's even alive right now. i haven't been able to be around and i see rp as a hobby in which we're encouraged to experience an amount of escapism. and this game is not that anymore. at all. we all promised ~maberly we'd try harder a couple of weeks ago. i brought myself OUT of my funk just recently in order to make a larger effort and have been enjoying it. until now. and i've seen only a few people trying harder. to those people i say thank you very much. but it's to a point where it seems like only a couple of people even care anymore. and this is just sad.