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OKAY OKAY. so one day oscar and verne are Caught. verne is sent away with a slap on his wrist and a stack of porn, and oscar is sent to his counselor to get some therapy because OBVS the poor boy is traumatized. jackson's form of therapy involves the woods. duh. poor oscar is so heartbroken by his lack of yummy geography professor that he's sort of numbly goes 'hay why not' and jackson claps his hand and says 'oh goody~'

cue mr. dorian gray REMIX VERSION TWO POINT OH. but of course by this time oscar is ~wary~ and is all OMG STAY AWAY FROM ME exceptnotbecauseyou'restillkindahotomgdome. jackson watches from ~a distance~ touching himself taking notes and being very Scientisty about it. dorian remembers what happened last time and is all BITCH PLS IMMA CUT YOU and just as he's about to jackson's all OMG NO MY GUINEA PIG and dives in to save him, getting the stab himself. (he actually meant to just push dorian out of the way, but damn those annoying tree roots getting in the way all over the place.)

anyway. oscar is all OMG! you could die! D: and jackson is all OMG! i could die! :D and oscar drags him back to hill house where oscar's ~beauty~ finally triggers some Strange Happenings in the house and somehow or another jackson is healed and in his euphoric, hysterical state he says OMG ILU MARRY ME because ohai his house finally did something and oscar's like OMG YOU SAVED ME OKAY.

they have one child.

yeah that's right. they have matthew FUCKING goode. his name is dorian. because oscar is romantic and jackson's a freak. dorian is the perfect blend of oscar's charm and jackson's twisted mind. like how a vampire and a werewolf do the nasty and create the SUPER HYBRID RACE OF SUPER DOOMY DOOM, dorian's picked up the best of both worlds and he damn well knows how to use it. he's SO good, he fools even his parents. he can play any role he needs to in order to get his way. and he always gets his way. like jackson, he's fascinated with reincarnations to the point where he's nearly killed his own parents (twice) just to test it out. like oscar, he managed to charm his way out of punishment for it.

needles to say, oscar and jackson should never, ever procreate.


also. spam spam spam spam spam.


DON'T EVEN TELL ME HE'S NOT PERFECT.